LIE

"mom, I'm home" I said as I knocked at the door from our house after a long day with no success of finding a job. It was already 12am. "mom~" I cheerfully said as I opened the door. I was a bit sad to hear no 'glad your safe, any update?' but then again- it is 12am. I quietly locked the door and made it to her room to see her peacefully sleeping. ( It kinda made me sad to see her alone, I never thought dad would be so cruel to her.) Ignoring the thought, I got to the lounge where I usually sleep and found a coffee with a sweet note. good job "thanks mom" I whispered as tears started to flow in my eyes " I'm sorry" I then drank the coffee. Every sip a comfort to my heart. The warmth representing the one person that stood up and never gave up on me. "I'm really, really sorry" I looked at myself in the mirror... They said it helps, however, even I couldn't stop my face from frowning as I continued to cry while looking at it. why do I mess up? why did I mess myself up, why did I waste my time? I thought to myself as I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm not always like this. I was once a very successful girl with a wide social circle. I like to read, hang out, and discover new place to dine, or play games with my peers. my best supporter was my dad while mom was on rambling about grades and improvement issues. I'm not always the brightest, I was one with great connections and I'm not sad about it, in fact, I loved my life! that is until dad left. I was at highschool and stubborn I refused to be left behind with mom ( but, he did. he did left me anyway. He said his girlfriend doesn't want a highschool girl in the house) My mom cried for weeks after that, and ever since then, she changed the way she act upon me. She became tender and caring. ( Maybe because she understood me) My grades dropped even more, and problem about money and lack of resources only made it worst. I go to school everytime with no money. I would go around the campus asking for money like a beggar, and well, I'm not even heard. I would sometimes rant about this to my mom and she can only weep and cry silently as she listened to my tantrum. It hurts to do so, but, I'm just done! Somehow, mom found a job to a*****e as a cashier and food wasn't so bad. I completely lavaged the expired goods and showed of to the mean guys how yummy it is.( it's fun) I even gave people who supported me some ( but then everyone got a stomach ache and I was to blame) Actually, although there are free foods we always face problems as the pay was low and the schools tuition fee was that of a royalty. Everything was the same since then. I somehow got to college and, just before I thought I'd pass ( I failed) I didn't make it. I was too burnt out with the side line works I did, the school work- life. I failed... and, it was the worst day of my life. Refusing to give up on me, my mom encouraged me to try again. This time I somehow passed. But, my resume was so low no one would even accept me, and pluss, no one would accept a non experienced person who just graduated. ( lowest in their class) *ringgggg~~ ringgg* my phone rings as I realized it's already morning. " this is nuts, I should rest" yeah. it is. there's no reason for recalling that right? "Hehehe~ " I gave an awkward laugh ( why am I talking to myself?) I turned the lights off, and flopped in the sofa. ( good night me~)