MUTLULUĞA SARILMAK

Section 2

Unfortunately, after a week passed, my exams were continuing at full speed. Today I was faced with a problem that could make my bad life worse.

Yes, my parents gathered with us this week in order to break the psychology of money.

I was making my way to the library, trying to ignore the gossip from the hall, with an expression of disgust on my face.

In short, I was busy filling my changed bag with a pile of lecture notes and books.

"Shut up!"

My black backpack, which I had overfilled, was right not to close, but this was not enough for me to get angry, of course.

Finally, I pushed my bag on my desk with greed, which refused to close.

"If you don't shut up, you didn't care too much," I said with a sideways glance at the bag.

After taking one last glance at my bag, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, and after a few seconds I had instilled in myself the idea that I should be calm, and I started to move towards my full-length mirror on a door of my closet opposite my bed, with a smile that is a world brand with its artificiality on my face.

It's a shame to say, I had a blow dryer on my curly hair today.

When I went in front of the mirror with an artificial smile on my face, the artificial smile on my face was replaced by a sincere anger.

My blow dryer was starting to go bad!

I tried to restore my hair to its former straightness with my hands as if I could straighten it.

Just at this moment, I could understand my classmates, hope is truly the bread of the poor!

If this had happened to me a week ago, I certainly wouldn't have turned down my friends who asked for a note.

During the exam weeks, a very different psychology was dominating me.

I glanced back at the mirror image. Today I was going to go to school to have my last exam, and because it was the last exam, instead of studying for an hour, I took a blow-dry.

A tearful expression formed on my face.

I didn't deserve this spoiled blow dry, I chose it instead of my exam, how could I have deserved it once?

I took one last look at my reflection in the mirror, took my bag that I left on my desk, left it on the bed, and was about to try closing it on my bed.

Because the only problem with the bag was that he didn't like the place!

No, there's a note here.

I know that I will stay in my mind if I don't take it now.

Whatever I didn't take, my mind would always be stuck on them.

When I got up with my knees bent next to my bag that I left on my bed with ambition, the door of my room opened while I was trying to squeeze the books even more.

I turned back to my door from under my hair, which was in front of my eyes because of his impulsive movements.

My hands were still on the books I wanted to tuck in.

The person who opened the door was Akif brother, who was standing with the classic day plate in his hand.

Ben was confused, as if he had been caught doing something wrong, and he was looking dull, as if he had seen something he shouldn't have seen.

There was silence between us for a few seconds.

He was the first to break the absurd silence between us.

If it were up to me, I wouldn't break it.

"Sorry, aunt Sevil said I could eat in your room," she said while scratching her neck with the hand she didn't hold the plate.

Convinced that I acted stupid enough today, I pulled my hand out of the bag to get my hair out of my way first.

Meanwhile, my dear bag tended to tip over on the bed and took the books I had in trouble with.

At that moment, it was as if we were saving something very important. We both tried to implement a resflesf like the province, Aras brother and I.

As I immediately removed my hand from my hair, he entered the room where he was not completely and approached the bed.

I slid down from my kneeling bed, glancing at my books overflowing from my bag.

I grimaced as I looked at my books.

What would happen if you were shallow?

oh my god!

I pulled my gaze away from the books and took a brief look at Aras Abi.

"It's late if you want," I said, pointing at my study desk.

While Aras brother was shaking his head slightly, there is no potential to be angry with everything these days, this has nothing to do with these days, I would normally be angry anyway, I was angry that my mother sent Aras brother to my room to have dinner.

Why is that my room? Send it to your own room if you want!

Come on joy you know why you sent it to your room because there is a desk in your room

said the part of me who defended that I should remain calm despite everything, and that I should not waste my anger on such a small event as I will find many more things to get angry about.

I rolled my eyes at that side of me and looked at the barren Aras brother on his plate, which had attracted my attention because it was more oily than anything else. I loved him very much, but even he was busy getting on my nerves right now.

No, so what happens if that barren spills onto my table?

My desk is always oiled!

Then, if you don't have a job, wipe that table with a soapy cloth!

I can't wipe it because it's my job, so it stays greasy!

Who knows how long my table will stay greasy and dirty, as I will not sit at that table again tonight after my exams are over.

Besides, if he had sent it to my brother's room, there is a coffee table in my brother's room!

But my dear mother Aras does not consider her son worthy of a coffee table, but she considers me worthy of a greasy table!

I was downright depressed. I wanted to immediately ask my mother to account for how she deems me worthy of such a thing!

I jumped with Aras's voice while I was immersed in these thoughts with my eyebrows furrowed and my real troubles getting out of my mind.

"Nah, are you okay?"

My gaze first found his eyes, and after he looked at me with questioning eyes, my eyes returned to my desk, with no barren remnant visible.

But that didn't lessen my desire to say I could have been better before you oiled my desk.

A smile formed on my face when I realized what I was doing when I looked at Aras evening dress as if it had really messed up my table.

I bit my lips this time to keep from laughing.

But my urge to laugh was so strong that I couldn't help small chuckles coming out of my mouth.

No, I was absolutely crazy. I was literally catching moisture from the air!

Aras brother had eaten at my table many times before, but my table was never left dirty.

While I couldn't help my urge to laugh, I took my eyes off Aras evening dress again.

He probably thought I was crazy.

While Aras brother stood with a fork in his hand and looked at me without blinking his eyes, my smiling face was frozen against my will, I averted my gaze from him and gave up creating trouble for myself and returned to my old problem. Meanwhile, my gaze turned to him again as Aras mumbled something.

"Did you say something, Aras brother?"

He shook his head as if to say no when he turned his gaze away from me and turned to the fork in my hand.

I was back in my bag.

No, it wouldn't be like this, I guess I should have pulled something out of it. I must not have decided on this after half an hour.

To be fair, I laid every piece of my pine on my bed. In order not to regret later, I had to do that pit pit right now.

This was the fairest thing for me. As a law student, I really couldn't help but admire my method of delivering justice.

I'm starting to count as raising my finger when a voice interrupted me again.

"I suppose you're not going to include your meds in this roundup?"

Damn damn it! Again, I was disgraced!

No, can't Aras Abide ignore my little unconscious behavior?

I will also include my medicines, what can I do, I am a fair person.

I remained silent so as not to show my embarrassment.

While I wasn't going to answer him and keep on counting again - I'm such an i***t - again the voice divided the room.

"Joy! "

Aras brother's voice smelled like warning, I turned my eyes to him.

No, his problem was not that I should make that piti piti among your things here, but why would I include my medications or not?

"What's wrong, Aras brother?" I said curtly, he hadn't made the pit pit.

Despite all my disgrace, I was going to do that piti piti, after all, I wasn't disgraced for nothing.

He took a deep breath and straightened up and came towards me.

Without taking his eyes off mine, he reached for the bag I had emptied in front of me.

"I'll try again"

As soon as our eyes broke apart, I gave him a mocking look.

So what is the event that will make you think that you can do what I couldn't?

There is Neşe Güler in front of you!

I started watching Aras brother, asking him not to, when I should have asked him to do it by folding my arms in front of me.

After placing my books and notes, he finally took my medicines in the small bag in his hand. My brows furrow as he glances at me and closes my Bag, which he also zipped, without any tendency to force it.

How would that be? It was hard for me not to empty my bag and throw my books at his head.

How could he hurt my self-confidence by doing something I couldn't do?

If I had done something that someone could not do with such a struggle, I would not have made an announcement from a municipality, but he calmly put my bag on the bed and took a step or two away from the bed.

"To the library?"

I nodded calmly. Actually, I was not calm at all.

While I was taking my bag from the bed, Aras brother came back to my desk to eat his dinner.

I pulled my gaze away from him and played with the watch on my wrist irrelevantly.

After taking a deep breath and putting my bag on my back, I was burning with the desire to look at my hair, which I had blow dried with great effort, and because Aras brother is here right now, I buried all my will inside and left my room so as not to be disgraced.

I started to hear the voices of the ladies, who are the young Turks of the neighborhood, more clearly now.

My goal was to get myself out of the house completely quickly. I didn't want to meet any of the women sitting in the living room.

While I was walking in front of the hall with fast steps, I thought that I had succeeded, and a smile of victory was on my face, and that great or great, perfect voice was heard.

"Anarchist no hello in the morning?"

My steps stopped before me. Then my triumphant smile faded from my face.

While I was going through the damned things I forgot today, I turned my gaze to the woman who called me anarchist, whose name was instrumental, but whom I do not believe to be instrumental in any good work in this life.

While sending my sideways glances at the woman, who obviously enjoyed messing with me, I also gave my mother a small glance.

While I was looking at my mother as if to say, be ready, I will disgrace you, she was looking as if to say, don't embarrass me, go on your way.

Squinting my eyes, I turned my gaze back to the occasion of bad things.

This was a declaration of war.

"The occasion of bad things, aunt, I am not an anarchist, if I were to adopt an ideology, it would be communism, I do not adopt any ideology"

I said as I continued to stare at him with my narrowed eyes.

I was right, I did not adopt any ideology because I did not want to limit myself in my thoughts, and I also thought that ideologies drifted away from their reality while being applied to societies.

But Pis occasion had named me an anarchist in the neighborhood because of his thoughts that could be developed on any subject, which was very contrary to them. The woman was literally from the eighties, molding every contrary thought into the same mold.

This time I turned around, tossing my hair, thinking that I had won the battle.

While I was carrying the traces of victory on my face and listening to the voices spoken behind my back, I realized that I could never win this war and I will never win.

Because the occasion was behind me, "What does the girl say, would she be a terrorist?"

He said in a tone that showed he truly believed it. No, so what is a terrorist? Don't your ears hear at all, woman! While I was taking a few steps despite everything, the laughing voice of the halo came from behind me.

"Just the occasion, auntie became a terrorist," he said, laughing uncontrollably.

Your aunt's youth is officially the cause of this situation! How can a person suffer on a nasty occasion when his own mother is like a cotton ball, even though he has no blood ties? It was definitely a great success to bypass so many good genes and look like the occasion of bad things, I was going to congratulate him on this disgusting success, but now I was faced with a completely different problem!

My mother!

Alas, my mother will definitely disown me this time. Without looking back, I quickly approached the door.

I had to get out of this house before my mother turned me into a slipper maniac in front of the saprophytic creatures inside.

Thank God I survived my last exam and entered the neighborhood with the burdens lifted off my shoulders.

This lightness on me was the perfect thing.

Absolutely nothing could get on my nerves today!

My exams were over and most of them went well. Of course, it would be more accurate to say that it went well in my opinion. Even though some professors wrote pages and pages, I could not comment on the result as I read the exam papers, as if that much text only covered the curses directed at them.

We had interesting academics!

I shook my head and dismissed my thoughts, as my mood, which I said would never be spoiled, would leave me if I thought of the precious academicians of my school.

"Sister Joy! Sister Joy!"

I turned my head to the only people in this neighborhood who came running to me with my mind.

Guys!

We were on good terms with the children of the neighborhood, and my mind was in agreement with them. I spent most of my free time with them. They also love that I spend time with them, and when I don't spend time with them, they get offended at me.

I looked at the five children lined up in front of me, out of breath. 2 of them were girls and 3 were boys.

They looked sad. This made me frown.

"What happened dear?"

He gave me a small look and put his hands on his knees and started taking deep breaths.

This made me frown even more.

What could have happened would make it run so fast?

I sat on the pavement by putting my arm around my soul and advancing it. When Can sat next to me, the other children were lined up next to us one by one.

I waited a few seconds for him to catch his breath.

"Well, tell me, what would you say?"

I said to all of them briefly, touching my eyes.

"Aunt the occasion"

"Ball"

"Big knife"

"Smashed"

When they all started to tell their troubles in unison, I laughed a little at this.

I stopped laughing when they all glared at me with my laughter.

"What are we talking about, what are you doing, sister Neşe!"

He said to me as if to regret.

I gave him a big smile.

"My dear, I did not understand anything from what you said that you keep shouting in unison. Now one of you, let's see the situation again"

I grimaced when they all started talking together again. Then when you laugh, I become guilty, friend!

"Stop"

All stopped at once

"Now you're all explaining the subject in a sentence, okay?"

I said while my questioning eyes roamed their faces.

A huge smile formed on my face again as they all nodded their heads at the same time.

They were so sweet! At this age, their desire to do something was so high that it was impossible not to emulate them. Now, while they were so eager to tell an event, they would evolve so much at the end of high school at the latest that they would start to answer even the questions asked to them individually, in the shortest possible way.

I looked at the beast.

"Get started dude"

With the command I gave my life, he started to speak quickly.

"The occasion of bad things, aunt"

They used this nickname because I used it too. Our common enemy was the occasion of bad things, aunt.

I turned my gaze cordially to the ayşe next to me.

"With the big knife in his hand," he said, opening his hand wide, trying to show the size of the knife. His eyes were open in proportion to his hands.

I personally believed that there is a definite occasion when your aunt has a huge knife.

Ahmet continued his speech.

"He cut our ball"

I opened my eyes wide. The problem was really big.

I turned my gaze to ceren and merte. Since they did not have the right to speak, I would ask them what I needed to ask.

I was such a fair person, too.

"Wow you bastard! Why did he do such a mean thing?"

I covered my mouth with my hands because of the words I used as my sentence reflexively came out of my mouth. I didn't like using slang around children, although the most slang word I could use was dishonest, but I still didn't want them to talk like that.

The boys chuckled slightly at my reaction.

When their laughter was over, he spoke with a little satisfaction.

"Does he need a reason for dishonor, Sister Joy?"

The boy was totally right, I couldn't help myself not to slap him on the back and say good job, coach, but I didn't do anything like that and continued to be an exemplary joy.

"Can! What did we talk about? Until the age of 15, there was no word of dishonor. You are now at the age where you can use words like stupid i***t!"

I wasn't sure if I was an exemplary joy right now, but at least I tried, that's how much it felt to me.

When the children learned such slang words from the outside, others, except Ceren and Ayşe, started to use them, so I divided the words they could use into ages.

Because they were 10 or 11 years old now, they would be called stupid idiots.

I had different principles.

Can shrugged his shoulders uneasily.

"Let him not be dishonest until the age of 15, then joy sister!"

I had to restrain myself not to burst into a big laugh. What an i***t this kid was. I was trying very hard not to declare him my heir.

"Bell "

I said in an angry tone.

How successful I was was questionable.

Can lowered my gaze.

"Okay, joy sister, not until the age of 15"

After messing with Can's hair with my hands, I returned to the subject.

That's how my issues were.

"When did he cut your ball?"

Mert took over.

"After leaving your house, the ball hit his head. We apologized, but he took our ball to his house without leaving it, and then cut it off"

So it was cut after the day.

"What are we going to do, joy sister?"

Said this time Ceren.

I took my eyes off them and began to think.

I thought.

"Let's break your window!" I said excitedly, raising my voice, and when I turned my gaze to the children, I saw that they were ready to pick up stones from the ground. These make a woman a stone maniac.

I collapsed again.

"Or no, his head will be broken or something, now my mother will make me pay for hospital expenses or something"

It really was. Last summer, I worked as a waitress in a cafe for 2 months and earned money.

In addition, it took at least 2 months to beg my mother to be a waitress. I started working with my mother's permission, but it was impossible for me not to worry when I was thinking that I was working in a job where my mother, who was worried even when she was sending me to school, predicted that I would get tired.

I'm not exaggerating, my brother and his friends came to the cafe where I work every day! Don't they also try to intimidate my boss as if the boss is forcing me to work? I was disgraced!

But come on, I couldn't even spend my own money!

You ask why? Because I don't know how many pieces of dinnerware set my aunt bought for the occasion, my mother bought it with that money.

What if I deliberately threw a plate on the ground and broke it? The woman threw herself on the ground because my dinner set broke!

All of a sudden, I couldn't use the plate again because of me.

Moreover, in the set I bought a new one, my mother pinched my flesh like I was a little child because I said I wanted the ones that weren't broken back, since a piece of it was broken!

My bad memories came back to life. My blood pressure is about to drop.

I thought again.

"Let's pull the chair he used while praying!"

I made a face. What was I saying? I'm crashing or something now

I also did not know whether he was praying or not.

I shook my head as if to say no to the children who were looking at me eagerly.

"We'll crash or something, now that won't happen either"

My God, my brain stopped, what should we do to this woman?

"Should we write down the phone number on the toilets"

I grimaced again at my own thought. When did I become such a cliche person?

God I'm ashamed of myself.

I can't think of anything, I'm about to cry.

I thought, I thought, I thought.

"Should we write the occasion of bad things on the outside of your house?"

I muttered and was in a serious state of reflection.

I guess I'd better eat some walnuts when I get home, I guess my brain wasn't working.

As I was thinking again, a voice came from behind me.

"Is this how you set an example for children?"