Rearview Mirror

Chapter 6

Chapter Two

And So It Begins

Amber heard a knock at her door. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she made her way to answer it.

“Sorry to be early, but I thought I should warn you that Nicole is coming with Erik to talk to you. She can’t do it alone, so she wants him and me to be here. Are you okay with this?”

“I guess I have to be. I don’t want to upset anyone. I didn’t come back for that.”

“I know, but you left and should have suspected that seeing you again might upset people.”

A knock at the door a few minutes later startled Amber and Heather, who were lost in thought. Amber answered the door, allowing Erik and Nicole to enter. They joined Heather in the pseudo-living room. Erik and Nicole sat next to each other on the couch, and Heather and Amber sat in the chairs. They were all looking at one another wondering who was going to speak first.

“Well, we all know that Amber is here to get release forms signed. Amber, can you explain why?” Heather got the conversation going.

“I’ve been offered a spot in an art show coming up at the gallery I work with. The selections they’ve made consist of four paintings and four photographs. Because you three are in those photographs, I need to get a release form signed for them to be shown. I have a copy of the proof if you want to see what will be displayed.” Amber looked each person in the eye.

“I want to see for certain.” Heather took the proof that Amber was holding. After looking through it, she handed it to Erik, who then passed it to Nicole.

Amber sat quietly while each person looked at the proof, and she tried to read what they were thinking.

“These are really good,” Nicole said as Erik and Heather nodded in agreement.

“Thank you.”

“You said you work with a gallery. What do you do there?” Erik asked.

“I work as a replicator. We take paintings that are popular and replicate them for sale in the gift shop. I’m also a freelance artist and photographer.”

“So, you forge paintings?” Heather asked.

“No, we have permission from the owners or painters to replicate them for sale.”

“So, you re-create the paintings?” Erik asked.

“Yes, and that’s what has helped me improve my painting skills to create a better-rounded portfolio.”

“So, if we don’t sign the release, you can’t use the photographs?” Nicole asked.

“Correct.” Amber didn’t like how this was going.

“Why’d you leave?” Erik blurted out, receiving looks from all three women. “What? We all want to know, why shouldn’t we just ask?”

“After being my dad and Jeffrey’s punching bag that night, I couldn’t stay there anymore. They had gotten carried away and hit me where the bruises were going to show. Would any of you have let it go had you seen them?” Amber looked at the three. “Nicole, realistically, what would you have done had you seen them or seen me flinch or grimace while we were kissing?” The room was eerily silent. “You all would have acted in a way that would have resulted in my getting beaten to death.” Amber heard a scoffing noise from Nicole’s direction. “I couldn’t continue to be a punching bag for them. Plus, my mother told me to leave for my own safety. So, I packed my bags, waited until everyone was asleep, and left. I didn’t honestly expect to make it out of the house, but I did without anyone hearing me.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Heather said.

“I was scared of what my dad or Jeffrey would do to anyone who helped me. I knew if I stayed here, they would find me, and I’m certain they would have killed me.”

“We could have helped you,” Nicole said barely above a whisper.

“I couldn’t risk him hurting any of you because of me. Especially you, Nic. If that happened, I would never have been able to live with myself.”

“It’s been ten years, Amber. Do you ever wonder what happened after you left? Did you ever think about those of us you abandoned and left behind?” Nicole’s anger took over again.

“Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you, Nicole,” Amber whispered.

“You wouldn’t know that from here. From here, it looks like you only thought about yourself. Why didn’t you ever try to contact us? In ten years, you couldn’t pick up a f*****g phone? Send a f*****g letter?” Nicole nearly yelled.

“I thought about it. I wrote tons of letters to you, Jill, and Heather. I was too afraid to send them. I did pick up the phone on several occasions and call, but I chickened out before saying anything. I wanted to, I tried to speak, but no words or sounds would come out.”

“Those are excuses, bullshit answers,” Heather said, causing Amber to wince.

“They may be, but they’re the truth.” Amber tried to contain her defensiveness.

“Well, I hope you’re enjoying your new life,” Heather said.

“I know you can’t still be this angry at me for leaving. What happened after I left? Why are you all still so mad?”

“Do you really want to know? Will it really matter?” Nicole asked, full of anger now.

“Nicole, you need to calm down,” Erik placed a hand on Nicole’s arm. “You had an episode already today. Getting worked up is just going to make it worse.”

“You had an episode? Nicole, are you okay? Was it a bad one?” Heather asked in rapid fire as she moved quickly from her chair to kneel in front of Nicole.

Amber was confused and very concerned. She had no idea what they were talking about, but it seemed serious and it involved Nicole. She had never stopped loving the woman, but she didn’t want to put her in harm’s way, either. Amber had convinced herself that staying away was best.

“It was after I got home. It was powerful, but I answered the door when Erik knocked.” Nicole wiped a tear from Heather’s cheek. “I’m okay, I promise. You worry too much.”

“I worry just the right amount. You’re my best friend, Nic,” Heather said. “We don’t have to go through things today, we can wait and do it tomorrow.”

“I’m okay, I promise. Dr. Scott said it might help me to talk about it and especially to Amber. If I ever got the chance.”

“I don’t know if it’s the best idea with emotions so high, but all right. The moment you start to regress, we end it, though.”

“Fine, we’ll play it by your rules,” Nicole conceded.

“Nicole?” Amber asked, concern coming through in her face and her voice.

“I think we should all take bathroom breaks and get some food and drinks,” Erik said.

“I’ll get Keyser to send us up an assortment.” Heather went over to the phone and dialed room service.

Nicole went to the bathroom, Erik walked over to the window and stared out. Amber pulled out her phone and sent a message to Zach asking if he was close. He said he was just getting to the hotel.

“Heather, I have a friend who just arrived at the hotel who’s coming upstairs. I need to go talk to him quickly,” Amber said quietly.

“Did you move on to boys? I noticed you weren’t checked in under your own last name. Is this your husband?”

“It’s his last name, but no, I still only date women. Zach is my best friend. He’s here to help me.”

“Fine, I’ll stall them, but he better not interfere,” Heather warned as she looked at Nicole and Erik. “I’ll tell them someone else is joining us. You can explain the rest.”

“Thank you.” Amber made her way out the door and into the hallway to meet Zach.

“Where’d Amber go?” Nicole asked.

“She’s meeting someone, who I guess is here to help her. I told her she had to explain.”

“I can’t do this if it’s her girlfriend or boyfriend.”

“I already clarified that it isn’t.”

Amber leaned against the wall by the elevator waiting for it to arrive. She heard the bell ding, and relief filled her as the doors opened and Zach was standing there with his arms open, ready to pull her into a hug.

“Come here, sweetie,” Zach said as Amber practically ran into his arms. He wrapped her into a hug and felt her arms go around him and squeezed him tightly. “Amber, are you okay?”

“That has to be one of the stupidest questions you have ever asked me.” Amber pulled back from the hug.

“What’s going on?”

“Well, I’ve got Erik, Heather, and Nicole in my room at the moment.”

“The Nicole?”

“The Nicole, there’s only one. Something happened after I left, and Nicole is going to tell me what it is,” Amber said. “I’m scared about what she’s going to say. Just before I sent you that text, they were talking about Nicole having an episode and how it wasn’t as bad and that she was still able to open the door when Erik arrived.”

“Wow, I’m glad I told Lucinda that I needed to be here for you.” Zach offered her a soft smile and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Should we get you back in there?”

“Yeah,” Amber said as they walked to the door, and she slid the keycard in the slot.

Opening the door caused everyone to turn and look at Amber and the man with her as they entered. They made their way to where the others were, Zach grabbing the desk chair so he could sit next to Amber.

“Everyone, this is Zach, my best friend. Zach, this is Heather, Erik, and Nicole.”

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you all and nice to put faces with names. Amber has told me a lot about all of you,” Zach said in a soft but sincere voice.

Heather and Erik shook his hand. Nicole looked at him, trying to figure out if there was more to him or his and Amber’s relationship.

“Nicole, are you okay?” Amber asked.

“How long have you known him?” Nicole asked.

“I met him my second week in New York City. He kinda helped me get the job as a replicator.”

“And you talked to him about us?”

“I told you earlier, not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you. Zach will tell you I mean it. He’s the one I talk about you all to,” Amber said as all eyes went from her to Zach, who nodded that she was telling the truth.

“I know you don’t know me, but I promise if you give me a chance, you’ll see I’m here strictly to support Amber and help any of you in any way I can. I feel as though I know you all,” Zach said.

Nicole was just about to ask Zach a question when there was a knock at the door.

“That has to be Keyser with the food and drinks.” Heather made her way to the door and let the man in the chef’s coat in. He placed the cart near where they were sitting and quickly left.

“Let’s eat and then Nicole can tell you what she has to say,” Heather said.

Amber and Zach let the others get their food before they grabbed some fruit and water.

“So, do you do showings like Amber?” Heather asked.

“No, she’s far more talented than I am. I can replicate pictures, but I can’t create something on my own,” Zach said. “At least nothing sale-worthy like Amber.”

Silence filled the room as everyone ate and took in what Zach had said. Erik, Heather, and especially Nicole had thought that Amber had never thought twice about them after she left, and now, they knew that she had, and she had talked about them with Zach.

Amber and Zach sat there wondering what it was that Nicole was going to tell them. Zach was hoping he would be able to support Amber in the way she needed. Amber was hoping she could emotionally handle what Nicole was going to tell her. She knew from everyone’s reaction that it was serious.

Heather finished eating and put her plate back on the tray. She offered to take Erik and Nicole’s plates, as well. Nicole sat there with a vacant look on her face.

“Nic,” Heather said as she looked at her. When she received no response, she knelt and softly said Nicole’s name again, and still got no response. Heather quickly glanced over at Erik before placing her hand on Nicole’s arm and saying her name a third time. This time, Nicole looked at her.

“Where’d you go?” Heather said softly.

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said as a tear rolled down her face.

“Nic, don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I was just wondering where you went in your head.”

Glancing over at Amber, whose face was etched in concern, and Zach, who was holding her hand, Nicole said, “I went back to just days before Amber left when we went swimming at Old Miller’s Pond.”

“I remember that day,” Amber said with a smirk and turned a slight shade of red.

“It’s one of the happy memories that has kept me grounded and helped me survive the past ten years.” Nicole looked at her hands that were now in her lap as Heather had taken her plate from her.

Amber got up and knelt in front of Nicole. This was the closest they had been since Amber’s arrival. She was slow and cautious. She reached out her hand and tentatively touched Nicole’s hand, causing her to flinch slightly but also look up.

“Hi.” Amber offered Nicole a lopsided smile.

“Hi.” Nicole stared into Amber’s eyes before raising her hand to Amber’s hair and running her fingertips through it. “How long have you been blond?”

“About ten years.”

“I like it.”

“What can I do to make this easier for you?” Amber asked.

“I-I really need to tell you this stuff, but I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

“Because I know how painful it is, and I don’t want to…” Nicole started as her emotions built up inside her.

Amber saw the anxiety and distress Nicole was in and took a hold of Nicole’s hand. When she didn’t pull away, Amber moved slowly and brought Nicole into a hug. As her arms wrapped around Nicole, she felt Nicole grab her and hold on for dear life. Amber just held her and started to cry, as well.

Zach watched the interaction among the four and realized that as close as he and Amber had gotten over the years, she had still held a significant part of herself from him.

Erik stood and motioned for Heather and Zach to follow him and give Nicole and Amber a moment together.

Nicole realized that Amber was holding her, that she was clinging to life because of this woman. The woman who had abandoned her, her mother, her friends, everyone. But in Amber’s arms, she felt safe.

Amber pulled back from the hug a little and placed a soft kiss on top of Nicole’s head. It wasn’t done as a romantic gesture but as a comforting one.

“Amber,” Nicole said in a small, almost childish voice.

“Yeah?” Amber said, her gaze meeting Nicole’s.

“Can we sit on the couch together while I tell you everything?”

“Sure. Are you okay to do this now?”

“Yeah, I just have some tough moments,” Nicole said. “What I have to tell you will be hard for you to hear…”

“I know, but I want to know.” Amber brushed a strand of Nicole’s hair behind her ear.

Nicole and Amber moved to the couch, and Nicole called the others back. She asked Zach to sit next to Amber, stating that she would probably need his support, as well. Heather and Erik sat across from the trio, trying to imagine how this was going to go.