Rearview Mirror

Chapter 7

Chapter Three

Disclosure

“Nic, just take your time, and if we need to stop, we can.” Amber saw the stress and anxiety on Nicole’s face and felt the tension coming from Erik and Heather.

“So, um, starting with the morning after you left.” Nicole swallowed hard and looked down at her hands. “Your dad decided that it was your mom’s fault you were gone. He, um, he beat her, bad, he almost killed her.” Nicole heard Amber gasp, and Zach wrapped an arm around her. “Erik called me and told me while they were on the way to the hospital. He was doing a ride-along that day to make sure being a paramedic was what he wanted to do.”

“It was what made me want to be one more than ever,” Erik interjected.

“Oh, Mama,” Amber whispered, tears filling her eyes.

Nicole continued to tell Amber about her mother’s hospital stay, about her recovery, and how close they became within that time. Nicole then told Amber about her mom getting the strength and filing for divorce before moving in with Nicole.

“Part of why she moved in with me was obviously because we had become so close, but it was also to help me. My parents were both killed in a small plane crash around the same time she was getting out of the hospital.” Nicole continued to look down at her hands. She couldn’t meet Amber’s gaze. She couldn’t see the hurt in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Nic.” Amber reached out toward Nicole but then pulled back.

“Your mom and I took care of each other. It-it helped us both a lot. I think it was also a way for us both to hold on to you.” Nicole slid back on the couch a little farther, knowing that what she was about to tell Amber was going to hurt, but what came after it was going to be even more painful. “Then things went bad. This part is also the ‘episode’ I had today. I, um, have flashbacks, some are crippling. This one used to be one of the harder ones. Well, until today, it was. It took three years for the divorce to become final. Once it did, we thought—no, hoped—that we were rid of your father. We weren’t…” Nicole let her gaze drift off as she recounted her episode from earlier in the day; she couldn’t watch Amber’s reaction. As she told her, she could hear Amber whimpering and Zach trying to comfort her. “After the police left, your mom helped me wipe his blood off my face and body. That was when I had the first mental breakdown. I couldn’t leave my room for days fearing that he would be in the living room waiting for me.”

“Nic,” Amber whispered. Zach was holding her back so she couldn’t engulf Nicole in her arms. He could tell it wouldn’t help either of them. Nicole needed to get this out.

Heather and Erik shared a look knowing that as devastated and guilty as Amber felt now, it was about to get a whole lot worse.

“It took me about four months before I was able to be in the house alone. Karen made sure that if she wasn’t there that someone else was. I had to go to court to testify against your dad. That sent me into a backward spiral, but Karen stood by me.” Tears rolled down Nicole’s face thinking about the woman who was more of a mother to her than her own mother had been. “Not long after the trial, just as things started to take on some semblance of normal, Karen started feeling sick. We went to the doctor and found out she had stage three liver cancer.”

Tears streamed down Amber’s face. Erik and Heather felt bad for her. Zach wasn’t sure how much more his friend could take; she was shaking and having a hard time breathing. He wasn’t sure if it was from crying or from the shock of what she was being told.

“Do you need a minute?” Nicole asked, seeing the anguish in Amber’s eyes.

“No, a minute isn’t going to help, but thank you.” Amber tried to control the tears streaming down her face.

“We tried to fight the cancer aggressively, but there was nothing we could do. She made it two years before she passed away. She asked me to give you a letter she wrote if you should ever come back here.”

“I don’t deserve it,” Amber cried as Zach held her and Nicole moved forward and took her hand.

“Amber, she loved you. You were her daughter,” Nicole said softly.

“I know that’s supposed to help, but I’m…I should have been here…I should have helped her.”

“I’m going to give you two a minute together,” Zach said, feeling Amber calming down. He got up, kissed the side of Amber’s head, and walked out of the room. Heather and Erik followed. They had been silently taking in everything that was going on, the interaction between Amber and Nicole and especially Amber and Zach.

“So, what’s your deal? What do you get out of being here with Amber?” Erik asked bluntly.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean by either question,” Zach said.

“Well, you and Amber are pretty chummy, and I’m just wondering why. And what’s in it for you to come here to ‘support’ her?”

“Amber is my best friend. She was there for me when my wife walked out on me and my two-year-old son. She was there to help me pick up the pieces of my life. When my son Travis was sick, she was there with me, in the hospital, in the doctor’s office. Then when he died, she helped me not join him because of the grief and guilt I felt for not being able to do more to help him. He was just a little kid. So, what’s in it for me? I get to help someone who cares about me no matter what.”

“Nice she could be there for you but not for anyone here,” Heather mumbled bitterly.

“I can’t speak for why she stayed away so long or why she didn’t write or call. I can only say that she talks about you all daily. She told me stories about growing up with you, Erik, about dating and falling in love with Nicole. She even told me about you and your sister, Jill.”

“s**t, we never called Jill,” Heather said.

“I think we should ask Nicole if she wants us to call her or not,” Erik said.

“You wuss, you just don’t want Jill to yell in your ear,” Heather said.

“I’m not stupid,” Erik said, causing all three to giggle.

“He seems really nice,” Nicole said, watching Zach and the others leave.

“He is. We’ve been through a lot together. His wife walked out on him and his son, then his son got really sick and passed away.”

“That’s horrible. Kids shouldn’t die.”

“I agree. Travis was only three. He was so smart and funny. Zach took it hard. Although I think that’s to be expected from a true parent.”

“Wow, I can’t imagine.” Nicole reached in her pocket and pulled out the letter from Amber’s mom. “Um, here’s the letter your mom wanted me to give you.”

Amber stared at the envelope in Nicole’s hand. She was afraid to touch it, afraid of what it was going to say. She was even afraid of what it wouldn’t say.

“You don’t have to read it now, but please, she wanted you to have it. If you want, er…um…if it would help, I’ll…um…I can be there when you read it.”

“I’d like that a lot. I think having you there, knowing you were with her at the end, will help me be able to read it. Thank you. Do you know what it says? Did she let you read it?”

“No, I just know she wrote it about a day before she died.” Nicole handed the letter to Amber, and their hands brushed together. “Should we let them come back in yet?”

“Not yet, if it’s okay with you. I’d like another couple of minutes with just you. I know you don’t believe me, but I have missed you a lot.”

“I missed you, too.”

“Hey, Nic.” Heather peeked around the corner.

“Yeah?” Nicole turned her gaze toward Heather.

“We realized that we haven’t told Jill about Amber being back, and we were wondering if you thought we should.”

“That’s Amber’s call, not mine,” Nicole said. “Amber?”

“What type of a comeback would it be without having Jill here?” Amber forced a smile.

“It’s okay if you don’t want us to call her.” Nicole noticed Amber was uncomfortable.

“No, I’m okay with it. She isn’t going to beat me up, is she?”

“She may intimidate you, but no, she won’t hurt you.” Nicole smiled.

Heather ducked back around the corner, leaving Nicole and Amber to their moment. She pulled out her cellphone and dialed Jill’s number.

“Hey, Squirt!”

“Jill, you know I hate it when you call me that,” Heather said.

“Yep, and that’s why I do it.”

“Fine, be an ass. Can you come by the hotel?”

“Sure, official or personal business?”

“Personal. When you get here, come up to the fourth floor, Bonsai Suite.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in about five minutes or so.”

When everyone came back into the room, Amber excused herself to go to the bathroom to wash her face.

“So, did you reach Jill?” Nicole asked.

“Yeah, she said she’d be over in about five minutes,” Heather said, then there was a knock at the door. Erik answered it and ushered Jill in to join the others. Jill gave Zach an inquisitive look.

Amber came out of the bathroom and stopped as she entered the room. There was Jill wearing what looked like a sheriff’s or deputy’s uniform. Amber took a deep breath and slowly moved to join the group. Nicole’s gaze flashed over to her, and Jill turned to see what Nicole was looking at.

Jill stood there staring at the blonde who had just entered the room. She looked familiar, but Jill couldn’t place why. As she continued to look at the woman, their gazes met, then Jill’s eyes went wide. She knew in that instant who this was. Everyone had been silent, watching as realization dawned for Jill.

Amber swallowed hard as Jill studied her. She looked past Jill to Nicole and then Zach. Nicole got up and moved toward Amber at the same time Jill did. Jill reached her first. The room was stunned when they heard the slap and saw Amber’s head jerk to one side. Zach was the first to get to Amber. He knew he needed to protect his friend. He moved between Jill and Amber, his back to Jill. He pulled Amber into his arms and held her. Nicole was right there by Amber’s side, and she glared at Jill.

“What the hell was that for?” Nicole asked, her anger coming through in her voice.

“That? That was for the hell she put us all through. That was for the pain she caused you. She’s lucky to have only gotten a slap,” Jill spat out.

“You were out of line, Jill,” Heather snapped.

“Am I the only one that remembers what the last ten years have been like? What Nicole went through?”

“No, but it wasn’t your place,” Nicole said as Zach pulled back from Amber and allowed Nicole an opportunity to see her.

“Who the hell is this anyway?” Jill pointed at Zach.

“He’s my friend and support,” Amber said.

“Are you okay?” Nicole asked.

“I’ll be fine. I endured worse living in my house for years. It just surprised me.” Amber looked hard and cold at Jill before softening and moving to Nicole.

“Well, that went well.” Erik let out an exasperated sigh as he sat in one of the chairs.

“So, you’re back? For how long?” Jill asked, glaring at Amber.

“I’m here for a few days and then I have to get back to New York,” Amber said flatly.

“Well, in my opinion, it can’t be soon enough.”

“Amber, who the hell is this?” Zach asked.

“This is Jill, my sister,” Heather said coldly.

“Jill, you don’t know what’s been going on here,” Nicole said, concerned that Jill was going to ruin her chance to talk with or at least spend time with Amber.

“I don’t care to know, either. She hurt you. No, she crushed you. There’s no excuse for that,” Jill snapped. “So, Amber, enlighten me as to why you left, why you couldn’t say goodbye or even make contact.”

“Jill, stop,” Nicole said. Erik noticed a quiver in Nicole’s voice and rushed over to stabilize her.

“Jill, she’s already had an episode today, back off,” Heather said through gritted teeth.

“I’m guessing it was no thanks to blondie over there.”

“Jill, hate me, whatever, but stop upsetting Nicole.” Amber moved over to stand next to Nicole.

“What do you honestly care? You abandoned her. You just up and disappeared for ten years.”

“Yes, I left after getting beaten by my brother and father. I left because there was no way I could take another beating, and there was no way I could hide what they had done to me that night.” Amber moved within inches of Jill, her voice cold as steel. “Do you want to know the full extent of what happened? Every detail? Will that make you happy?”

“Yes, it will help,” Jill said coldly.

“Fine, but, Zach, Nicole, will you both please leave? Heather, Erik, I’d prefer you to leave, too, but it’s your choice.” Amber’s gaze was still locked on Jill’s.

“I’m not leaving,” Nicole said directly.

“I’m sorry, Amber, but I’m with Nicole. I’m not going anywhere,” Zach said.

Amber turned to face them both. “Please, I don’t know that I can handle either of you hearing this. Knowing these details,” Amber pleaded, her eyes filling with tears.

“Please, let us stay. Nicole and I just want to be here for you.” Zach took Amber’s hand, and Nicole nodded her agreement. “And frankly, I don’t trust Jill.”

“Fine,” Amber said in defeat, turning back to face Jill.

“So, please, tell me what happened. Enlighten me as to why you had to leave as you did. Why was it acceptable to crush the woman you supposedly loved?”

“I can’t be here for this. Not after knowing what happened to your mom,” Erik said as he headed for the door. “Nicole, call me later.”

“Heather?” Jill asked.

“I’m staying,” she said, glaring at Jill.

“Usually, my dad and brother hit me where the bruises wouldn’t be seen or noticed,” Amber started. “That night, something snapped in them both. They were ruthless in their punches. Jeffrey aimed for my legs, my dad liked to hit in the middle area. That night, though, they didn’t seem to care where the punches and belt landed.”

“Belt,” Nicole whispered. Zach moved over and tentatively put his arm around her, helping her to a chair. He sat next to Nicole, and she took his hand in hers.

Amber couldn’t look at either of them. She kept her gaze locked on Jill. Pulling up her shirt, she showed Jill four puncture wounds on her left side. “Those marks, the belt buckles they were using, went in, and two of the four almost punctured part of my left kidney. I had four broken ribs. One was so bad that had I moved wrong, I would have punctured my lung. My right kidney was severely bruised. My left forearm was fractured, I have scars on my legs from Jeffrey beating me with the belt. I was knocked down the stairs, you remember the steep ones going to the lower level. I have a three-inch scar on the back of my head from hitting the wall, and last but certainly not least, I had a severe concussion.”

Jill was looking at Amber, her eyes filling with tears, she couldn’t breathe. Nicole and Heather were crying. Zach was trying to remain strong, but he couldn’t help but cry, as well. He knew that when he met Amber something had happened, but she had played it off as a car accident.

“Do you want to feel the scars? Do you want to feel where the ribs were broken, and not for the first time and therefore didn’t heal properly? What do you want, Jill? Please, now you enlighten me. Tell me what it’ll take to make you understand. I have pictures. Do you want me to send you the pictures?” Amber asked coldly.

Jill opened and closed her mouth. She had no words, no idea what to say, what to do. She looked past Amber and saw Nicole being comforted by Zach and Heather. She then looked back at Amber.

“Zach thought I was in a car accident. He helped me as I healed. The nightmares I had because of that night, he helped me through. When I couldn’t leave the house because I was afraid my father or brother would find me, he sneaked me out to work. He barely left my side when I needed someone for the first several months we knew each other. Without him, I would probably not still be here because of the depression. So, you wanted to know why I left the way I did and haven’t had any contact for ten years. Does that give you some enlightenment?”

“You could have come to us,” Jill whispered, unable to find her full voice.

“No, because my father and Jeffrey both knew all about everyone I hung out with, and they threatened to hurt you if I said a word. They weren’t really known for lying about those types of threats.” Amber pulled her shirt back down and stared at the ground.

“Amber,” Nicole said, her voice raspy and shaking. This caused Amber to turn around and walk over and sit on the table in front of Nicole. “Why did you lie earlier? Why didn’t you tell us how bad it was?”

“Because I knew you had been hurt enough. I didn’t want you to know the truth,” Amber said, softly wiping away the tears streaming down Nicole’s face.

“Amber, why didn’t you ever tell me?” Zach said.

“Because I didn’t want you to think less of me or to be my friend out of pity.” She looked down, unable to meet his or Nicole’s gaze.

“Seriously?” Nicole lifted Amber’s chin. “We all love you…well, I don’t know about Jill, but Heather, Erik, Zach, and I, we love you and would never pity you.”

“I’m so sorry, Amber,” Jill finally said. “I don’t know how you survived all that.”

“I didn’t have a choice. I got used to it. I had been beaten by them since I was four,” Amber admitted, and then groaned at what she had just revealed and the gasps that had echoed through the room.