Surviving Gangster's Love

The First Bruise

Trigger Warning**

Dubious consent/ non-consensual s*x**

I trembled when I saw him coming towards me. He removed his t-shirt and pushed me down on the bed. One of his knees was on the edge of the bed and both his hands on either side of me. He was bent down on me, with our faces so close that we were sharing the same breath. Then he pulled at my shirt, unbuttoning the first button. My heart was beating so hard as if threatening to come out.

"Why is it that you can't guarantee being good at this? Was your husband not satisfied with your skills in bed, Mrs Clements?"

He was unbuttoning my shirt, a button at a time, grazing the exposed skin with feather-light touches of his finger tips, his cold nails on my burning skin, all the while gazing into my eyes. For some reason, his calling me 'Mrs Clements' sounded annoying.

"Sera, my name is Sera." I was out of breath and I realized I had been holding my breath ever since he had started touching me.

"Austin and I were not in that kind of relationship." My breath hitched when his fingers touched the bare skin of my belly, his fingers gliding softly around my belly button.

"Is it so, Sera?" It was like his finger-tips were sending currents to my body. He was simply moving his fingers around my body. My name in his mouth, like an incantation. I was trembling under him, under his minimal touch, but his face was devoid of any excitement, as if he was a doctor examining a patient.

"When was the last time you did it with someone?" There was a strange, commanding demeanor in his soft voice.

Before I could reply to that question, his fingers, which were tracing circles around my belly button, suddenly crawled inside my pants. I jumped with a start, closing my legs together. I had half-risen from bed, but he grabbed my neck with his other hand and pushed me back into bed. His fingers sneaked lower and lower and then he sunk one of his fingers inside me abruptly. The sudden forceful turn was disorienting, the intrusion of a cold finger inside me felt discomforting.

He was moving his finger in and out in forceful thrusts, his face as cold as a rock. He would press my insides with his finger after every thrust. Twisting his finger around slowly. It was painful yet strangely pleasurable. "Why the hell are you so tight, Sera?" He said in his soft voice. There was a hint of a smile in his voice but his eyes were devoid of any emotion. The grip of his hand on my neck was tightening, he was using the weight of his thighs to press down on my legs, stopping me from closing them together. I was squirming with fear at that point. But there was something about the situation which was doing something to my insides. My hands were frantically tapping his hand on my neck, asking him to loosen the grip because I was feeling choked. I could not even utter a word. My voice stuck in my throat.

Finally, he loosened his grip on my throat, just when I thought I would pass out from suffocating. I was taking breaths in large gulps, my mouth wide open in fear and shock. And the next thing I knew, he was biting into my lips, a sharp pain tantalized my brain. He had taken his finger out and was rubbing my c**t. There was too much happening at the same time. Blood oozed out from the broken skin of my lips. I remember I felt acutely stimulated, as if all my nerves were gathered where his fingers were rubbing me. The pressure and pace of the movements were dizzying. I felt a strange inch in my belly, the kind that I had never felt before. I had started feeling a weird sort of restlessness, the kind where I felt a need to be crushed. It is hard to put that feeling into words. I was not able to understand it myself. As I was swirling down in the pit of desires and madness, I felt something hot welling inside me, waiting to burst out. Just then, he pulled out his hand, stood up and moved a step away from the bed. I was lying on the bed in a daze, breathing heavily, with all the buttons of my shirt open and my pants pulled down on one side. Feeling needy and unsatisfied.

"Sit up on your knees," he said, as if asking one of his men to do an errand.

I felt as if I had been pulled out of a race midway. But it was not about my pleasure after all, so I got up gingirly and sat on my knees.

"Not on the bed, Sera. On the floor, right here." He pointed with his toes.

I thought of pulling my shirt together but then gave it up, thinking I might look stupid. I got out of bed and sat where he had pointed. I was nervous to the point that I was feeling dizzy. He stepped closer to me, my face was right in front of his crotch. I could already smell a fishy smell and it made me nauseous.

"I have not even done anything. Why are you crying already, Sera?"

I touched my face and tears were trickling down both my eyes. I did not even realize that I had started crying. It was completely involuntary, I could not even understand why I was crying. Was it denial of orgasm? Or was it fear? As I was alomst choked. Or was it the humiliation of what was about to happen? None of it mattered though, because my tears could not stop anything. Mr Xi stood there, not even a bit affected. His hands were caressing my hair gently and pushing my face closer to his crotch.

"Lick it." He said in a soft whisper, but his hands had a tight grip on my hair. I licked the soft cloth of his pants. My eyes were blurry with tears. I could feel his hard meat, under the pants, bulging as I licked him awkwardly. Soon his pants were wet with saliva and tears.

"Open the zip with your teeth." There was no up or down in his voice, he was as calm as if he was supervising an employee. While, I was trembling with unknown emotions. My knees had started to hurt on the cold marbled floor. I was fumbling with my mouth, trying to get hold of the metal zipper head. I tried several times but it was so small and would slide off from between my teeth. I had managed to pull it down only slightly when Mr Xi's patience gave off. He made a tsk-ing sound and unbuckled his belt leisurely. Then he pulled down his zipper. He pulled my chin up and when I looked into his eyes they were like a pitch black abyss.

"You have a lot to learn, Sera."

"I am afraid you will bite me off if I ask you to give me a blowjob." He gave a cold chuckle.

"Use your hands. I doubt if you know how to do that, but go on and give it a try. Let's see what you have got"

I felt totally defeated, sitting there slumped on my knees, tears tumbling down my face. I had never been that pitiful. I was angry at myself for crying like so, but I just could not stop the tears. I had never cried that way in my entire life until then. It was not like I had no idea that he would make me do things like that. It was not even that difficult. Just a bit of licking and touching and rubbing. I had never felt these actions to mean anything before. But for some reason, I felt humiliated under his cold gaze. I think I was craving some vulnerability from him.

I took out his p***s from his underwear and started stroking it gently. I had never done this before and I hated that I could not make him wither under my hands, so I squeezed it a little every now and then, trying to form a rhythm, rubbing the head of his organ with my thumbs with every stroke. After a while, I tried to look up at his face to gauze his reaction, to see if it was working, and I caught him inhaling deeply. I don't know what took over me, but I put out my tongue and licked the tip of his p***s just a little and for the first time in that entire harrowing morning I saw him reacting. He put his hand over mine, guiding my hand in stroking his thing, as if he could not take it anymore. He started moving my hands at a much faster pace and soon enough a white, fishy smelling liquid ozzed out from him, part of it getting on my face. It was nauseating.