After My Death Tomorrow

Episode 7

Three days.

Two nights.

Three silent days.

Two lonely nights.

That's what Marco and I experienced on his father's wake.

Ang mga araw at gabing iyon ay isa na yata sa pinakamasakit na araw na naranasan ni Marco. I know, those days and nights will burn on his mind. Burn not in anger but in pity for himself.

Walang nakiramay sa kanya noong mga araw na iyon kundi ako lang at si Mr. Sy, the owner of the funeral. Maski ang bestfriend ni Marco na si Vaeden ay hindi manlang dumating. Pati na rin si Diyes. Sinubukan ko silang kausapin, ngunit sila ang lumalayo sa akin sa tuwing sinisingit ko iyong tungkol sa kalagayan ni Marco.

Dito ko napatunayan na at the end of the day, you are your only ally. Sa mundong ito, wala kang kakampi kung hindi ang sarili mo lang. Dahil maski ang pinaka-close mo pang kaibigan ay maaring tumalikod din sa 'yo kapag nagka-gipitan na. Sa mapanganib na mundong ito, kahit sino ay maari mong maging kalaban . . .

Stay vigilant.

Keep your ground.

And ready yourself for the worst.

Ngayon, sampung araw makalipas ang libing ng tatay ni Marco, hindi na bumalik pang muli sa dati ang lahat. Kung dati ay agaw pansin lagi si Marco, iyong tipong karamihan sa schoolmates ko ay hinahangaan siya. Iyong halos lahat ay kaibigan niya, ngayon ay iba na. They are looking at him with nothing but fear. For them, Marco is the face of his father's crime.

Pero hindi pa natatapos diyan ang lahat.

Tuluyan nang lumayo si Vaeden kay Marco sa hindi malamang dahilan. Para bang may sakit na nakakahawa si Marco kung layuan niya. Iyong parang diring-diri siya sa tuwing mapapalapit siya kay Marco.

Ano bang problema ni Vaeden?

As far as I know, Marco and him was very close ever since I can remember.

Kaya, bakit bigla siyang nag-iba?

Bakit parang may mali?

Mabuti na nga lang at hindi nag-iba ang pakikitungo ni Diyes kay Marco. Kahit papaano ay may kaibigan pa rin siyang hindi siya iiwan. Silang dalawa na lang lagi ang magkasama. But, I know, Marco is not happy with just that. I know, from the bottom of his heart, he is still longing for his very own best friend.

Pero ano nga bang nangyayari kay Vaeden?

That's what I'm about to find out tonight.

Kanina, matapos kong makauwi sa bahay ay naka-receive ako ng message mula kay Spero Futurae. That stranger. Hindi ko pa rin talaga alam kung sino ba talaga siya. Tinanong ko siya last few days kung siya ba ang future self ko, hindi daw. Wala talaga akong ideya kung sino ba talaga siya. At ano ang dahilan niya para tulungan ang Margot na nasa parallel universe.

Sinabihan ako ni Spero Futurae na pumunta sa pinakamalapit na convenience store sa bahay namin. I did what I am told right away. Yes, even without knowing the reason behind it.

Ngayon ay nandito ako sa loob ng 7 Eleven, nakaupo sa bakanteng mesa habang pinapanood ang mga taong pumapasok. Most of them are kids with their school uniform, they are prolly Elementary students.

One moment after, my phone vibrated. I was so quick to grab ahold of it from the pocket of my gray hoodie. As expected, it was a notification for a message. It was from Spero Futurae. Naglalaman ang message niya ng voice message.

Ito na siguro ang susunod na mangyayari na dapat kong iwasan. Ang pangyayaring iiwasan ko na talaga. Dahil ayoko nang mag-sisi. Ayoko nang makonsensya. Pero most of all, ayoko nang masaktan pa si Marco.

I want to end his pain.

I have to avoid his tragic ending.

Ready to hear Marco's voice from my phone, I put my headset on before I click the play button.

Domino effect.

That damn effect was the awful highlight of my entire life.

That hell of a s**t effect was brought by my own father, but it's okay-- I know, it's not but it has to. Nangyari na, eh. Wala namang mangyayari if I continue my holding-my-grudge s**t at him. 'Di ba?

Napakurap ako nang makarinig ako nang mahinang pag-sinok mula sa kanya.

Teka nga, naka-inom ba siya?

After all, he is still my father. And no matter how f****d up he had been, he will always be my motherfucking father . . .

Nakainom nga siya.

Bumuntong hininga ako.

So, yeah.

He giggle like an idiot. But happiness still failed to show from his voice.

Nasaan na nga uli tayo?

A few seconds of silence succumbed my ears. Wala akong narinig kundi ang mahinang tunog ng aircon.

Right.

That domino motherfucking effect.

Because of my father, the world began to hate me as if it was my fault. Kasi wala silang masisi. Kasi patay na 'yung taong totoong may kasalanan. So, they picked up the closest potential that they could hold their grudge with. And that's me. That's f*****g me.

You know what's funny?

'Yung galit nila sa akin, parang nakakahawa? Kasi lahat sila, nilayuan ako. Mula sa maliit na bilang, dumami nang dumami silang galit sa akin.

Hanggang sa . . . wala nang natira sa akin.

You have me now, Marco. Don't worry. I will never leave you.

Walang natira. Even my best friend.

I get it now.

This one's for Vaeden.

Taimtim akong nakikinig habang pinapanood ang labas-pasok na mga tao. Thankfully, walang tumatabi sa akin dahil kung mangyari man iyon, I will really feel uncomfortable. But then again, listening to a dead person's voice will never be comfortable. Even if Marco is still alive on my world, I really can't erase to my mind that the one on this voice message has already welcomed his tragic death.

Yes, Vaeden.

Bro, this one's for you. Hold your seatbelt on because I am about to make you remember what you did that made me want to do . . . what I am about to do.

I blink. It must be really hard to mention the word "suicide" when you are going into something hard that it made you suicidal. It's the most disgusting word that I've ever heard, so I get it. Kahit hindi ako suicidal, I wouldn't dare myself to say this on a daily basis.

Habang nakikinig ay naituon ko ang aking paningin doon sa mga batang bumibili. Tila bang may gulong nangyayari. Iyong bata kasing nauna sa pila ay umiiyak habang pinapagalitan ng cashier. Nagnakaw siguro.

Best friend.

Two words.

Five meaningful definition.

A best friend is a person who will never,

He put emphasis to the word "Never" as if it's a must.

Who will never leave you.

That person who will stay by your side when your greatest downfall happens.

That person will never judge you for he know who you really are.

That person will always be there for you unconditionally.

That person won't dare to ruin you.

Now, Vaeden. On that five definition, which one is yours?

Oh-- ako na ang sasagot.

None.

Napalunok ako.

Ano bang nagawa mo, Vaeden?

Bumuntong hininga ako at saka patuloy na nakinig habang pinapanood ang mga taong nasa loob ng apat na sulok na convenience store na ito. Wala na ang batang nagnakaw. He was escorted by the Security Guard. Wala siguro silang nagawa kundi ang palayain siya.

Wanna know why?

But first, let me tell you a throwback story of mine. A short ass corny love story of mine.

The story goes like this.

She was my first girlfriend. At kung matalas ang memorya mo, maalala mong siya iyong sinabi ko kay Papa na gusto ko. Iyong unang babaeng nagustuhan ko talaga.

I will not mention her name anymore because she doesn't deserve to be included to my narrative.

Veronica. It's Veronica.

Nag-transfer na siya sa ibang school. Iyon yata ang dahilan ng pag-be-break nilang dalawa ni Marco.

My relationship with her was steamy and f*****g hot. She was so adventurious and aggressive. She made me do things, perverted things that I also want to do with her.

Guess what?

Don't laugh but it's to send nudes.

I facepalm.

Marco, you are such a kid.

A stupid kid.

I always send videos of me playing with my d**k, moaning in pleasure, whenever she wants it. Her requests come with variety. Kung minsan ay gusto niyang picture, iyong kita ang mukha at katawan ko.

To make the long story short, nakita na namin ang katawan ng isa't isa. Bawat sulok ng katawan niya, nakita ko na, at ganoon rin siya sa akin.

And as a hormonal teenager, I totally love it.

I wince.

Jusko.

Curious why I am telling this?

It's because we are about to get into the main event of this voice record.

To all of the students of Main Campus, yes, it was mine. The scandal that leaked a few weeks ago on f*******: is mine.

Happy now?

Feeling ko, useless na rin namang aminin 'to. Kasi alam kong at the end of the day, alam niyong sa akin iyon. That's what Vaeden told y'all. I am not surprise anymore.

I gasp.

Oh my holy god.

Vaeden!

I never expected that you could do something like that. Most especially, to Marco!

Covering my mouth, I really can't believe this.

So . . . Yeah.

Thank you, Vaeden. Thank you for leaking my private video to the world. Now, the world treated me as such a horrible p*****t clown. You even told them I force my first girlfriend to do the same to me. As usual, it triggered them without even verifying the truth. Then, their rage began to grow like a flame that is about to fire me up.

But this time, I am ready to be burned by them. Wala na rin naman kasing mawawala sa akin kasi guess what? Wala nang natira sa akin noong sinira mo ang tiwala ko sa 'yo.

Pinagkatiwalaan kita sa account ko, I never thought you'd use it to harm me. To kill the light in me. To put an end to the only hope I have to live.

Totoo nga, your best friend could possibly be your deadly enemy. Alam nila kung papaano ka epektibong masasaktan. Alam nila ang kahinaan mo. At gagamitin nila iyon laban sa 'yo. With no mercy, they will wreck you into pieces 'till you are left with nothing but pain.

Nagsimulang maging garalgal ang boses niya. Ngayon, nakikita ko sa aking utak ang walang hanggang pag-agos ng luha mula sa kanyang mga mata.

Pero 'tol. Naiintindihan naman kita. Alam kong kaya mo iyon nagawa dahil galit ka. Mahal mo si Violet. Ngayon ko lang nalaman. Galit na galit ka sa tatay ko dahil sa ginawa niya sa taong mahal mo. Kaso lang, wala kang mapagbuntunan ng galit. Kaya ako ang nakita mo. Kaya ako ang pinagbayad mo sa kasalanan niya sa 'yo.

Napapikit ako.

Ang sakit sa dibdib na pakinggan ang mahina at impit niyang pag-hikbi.

Nakakahawa.

Namalayan ko na lang na umaagos na pala ang luha mula sa mga mata ko.

Basta 'tol, eto lang-- kahit ano pang ginawa mo sa akin, tanggap ko 'yon. Bukal sa loob ko iyong tatanggapin kasi may rason ka naman, eh. I just really hope that it will mend your soul. Because this sacrifice of mine will never be meaningful if it will not come to that conclusion.

Doon natapos ang voice message. Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko habang pinipigilan ang mapahagulgol nang malakas. Ramdam kong kanina pa ako pinapanood noong cashier. Halatang nag-aalala siya sa akin. But I don't want her comfort right now. I want to be alone as I savor the pain of Marco.

One second after, I decided to just reach my handkerchief from my pocket.

It was a long moment of just silent sobbing and seems unending tears before I calmed myself. Inalis ko lang ang panyo mula sa mga mata ko noong may maramdaman akong tao na nakatayo sa harap ko. Ngunit imbis na tao ang bumungad sa aking mga mata ay ang pink na letter ang nakita ko.

It was from my future self . . .

Mabilis kong nilingon ang aking ulo mula sa pintuan. And there, I saw a person wearing a black hoodie.

It's Spero Futurae!

Without thinking, I hastily follow that person with the hopes of unravelling the real identity of Spero Futurae right now, at this very moment.