The Game Of Lust

the monkey suit

“Yes! Vivian … I slept with him again!” I snapped. “I know what you're gonna say and you can say it when I get back from work cause I'm really late!.” She paused and watched me march into the bathroom angrily.

Our project had finally begun. And It took us three days because of the unpredictable weather.

My department was given the spotlight, as we prepared the cast and the entire set. It was finally the week for more comfortable clothes as the workload would not accommodate tube skirts and camisoles but instead track pants and T-shirts. Cole had on jeans and a shirt, he sat under a tent in a seat where he supervised and corrected different Mistakes, he had the lights readjusted and the set reorganized.

I'd been working there for three years and not once had I felt as anxious as I did with Cole's piercing gaze peering about. Joanne handled the costumes, she unlike the rest of us could function properly in tight dresses and blazers as It was her norm to look poise and formal at all times. At Wadfort The creative department and editing are all under the production department. My job wasn't just to pitch ideas alone, I also did the background arrangement, set decorations and casting of actors for the commercials and for the packages of products. Fortunately for us not much work needed to be done as our commercial was set in the park. The weather was surprisingly promising.

I coached the little boy who was going to be the star of the commercial, he was confident and bold, he knew just what to do and I took a sigh of relief. The cinematographers began filming. The walk in the park, the wandering off as the boy gets lost. After many takes and different scenes everything remains in order except for the person assigned to wear the monkey suit who was nowhere in sight.

“Where's Garry!” Cole yelled

“He's… he's not here yet,” Denis coughed nervously.

“So where the hell is he?”

“He's stuck in traffic .” Joanne said

“Why didn't anyone try to reach him?”

“Well umm” she stuttered “Regina said she'd cover for him!” Joanne yelled and trotted away. Knowing she'd lied, she did not wish to see the bewilderment in my expression as she turned away.

“Great, give Dalton the costume! ” Cole announced.

“No wait … I didn't …” before I could finish my sentence I was pulled away by the custom designer who put me inside the large monkey suit. It had a yellow shirt on that said ‘Cuddle me! ’

I released hot steam from my ears at Joanne's ploy to embarrass me. Cole was particularly indifferent towards me and he did not care what I felt or my impute in anything. He made me do things outside my field just to make a fool of me. At first I assumed his actions were to avert any suspicions but later on it just started to seem like he enjoyed what he did to me to the extent he let my other coworkers belittle me in many ways.

When it was time for the first take of the monkey scene or the magic scene as Cole called it, I marched out nervously in the heat induced monkey suit and there was an immediate cackle of laughter from the crew.

My eyes watered heavily but luckily for me no. One could see my face through the costume.

The cameras rolled and I struggled to achieve the result Cole wanted, many takes later I struggled, I didn't need to say a word but my actions did not deliver enough. Later the clouds gathered into the possibility of a heavy downpour.

Cole decided to forgive my blunders and finally we called it a successful day. After clearing the set we headed back at work.

I sat in a bathroom stall and cried silently. I'd held back my tears all day. I felt anger and nothing else but anger. I wanted to hit something or someone but instead I was crying in the restroom. I replayed the sound of their repeated laughter as I was ridiculed and humiliated.

I reached the parking lot and soon realized that I had still not fixed my car. Cole headed to his car and noticed me a few yards away. He gestured with his hands to join him in the car. He had a bright smile on, he had switched into the personality I preferred. But I would not forgive so easily after the humiliation I was put through. I ignored his gesture and turned away, walking out of the parking lot. He drove after me and wined down his window.

“Regina, are you mad at me for something … I feel like you're mad at me, ” he said, I ignored and walked on.

“Stop being so stubborn and get it!” he said softly, looking at his eye made me want to jump into his arms so I looked away to protect whatever dignity I had left.

“What are you so angry about? ”

I turned around slowly dumbfounded by his ignorance towards my feelings with him; it was almost like those feelings never mattered.

“What am I angry at? Really?” I exploded “Well done sir … you really did it this time,” i said in a calmer note.

“Regina?” He sighed.

Since he preferred to play dumb, I decided to play along. He didn't speak about work in his jolly episode so I decided to treat him as nothing

but a boss.

“Don't worry sir I'll take the subway or get a cab .” I said “I really don't want to bother you .”

“Regina stop .”

Some of my co workers walked towards us and I could see the worry in his eyes, not that I'd get a cold from walking in the rain but that he'd be seen talking to me.

“Good night Sir,” I said leaning in. He stared blankly at me as I trotted away.

Finding a cab was impossible in that weather, I was given no choice but to walk. as I walked home thoughts of my lonely life troubled me. I shouldn't have yelled at him, I thought, second guessing myself.

After an hour of pointless walking, I decided to go to the last place I wanted to be, Vivian's place.

We didn't end our last conversation on a good note but she was my best friend and I needed her. Vivian was never in complicated relationships. She always knew what she wanted from the men she dated and she never doubted herself I did. She does what she loves, unapologetic about her passion while I struggled to find mine. I knocked and she opened shortly after, her scorn quickly changed to shock as she realized how drenched I was, from walking in the rain.

“Oh my God … what happened to you?” she exclaimed.

“I'm sorry for yelling at you .” my voice wobbled frantically.

“What! .. That's not important anymore, get in before you catch a cold!” she said, dragging me into the house. She hastily took off her dripping clothes. ,“Go dry yourself up while I make you a cup of coffee .” She led me to the room and handed me some clothes to wear. She loved colourful T-shirts, it said ‘I love smooches’ I chuckled at the write up and suddenly I remembered the clothes I wore to Cole's place, the ones I couldn't find, I also remembered the terrifying nightmare I had. It started to feel like I was in a horror movie of my own making.

“Hey!” she said jogging me back to reality and turned to her and collected the hot cup of coffee.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you,” I said again, as guilt ate into me.

“Please don't apologize Gina” she moved closer “I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me anything .”

“I hate what I'm doing Viv and I couldn't tell you cause I hate myself for it. ”

“Its okay baby ,” she smiled and hugged me

“What's wrong with me Viv, am I defective?”

“No, there's nothing wrong with you Gina, let's go watch TV and you can tell me what happened .”

“OK ”I sobbed

We sat on the sofa facing the TV, and she prepared noodles.

“They made me wear a monkey costume because no one else agreed to do it,” I said. “He made me make monkey sounds, it was so humiliating … I'm gonna kill Joanne . ”

I clenched my fist.

“Damn .. Gina you don't even need the job,”

“What? ”

“If I had rich parents .. I wouldn't even work ”

“But you're not even working now! ”

“That's not my point Gina … Do you really need this job?” she asked in a stern voice.

“Um … I just wanted to be away from my mom, she's suffocating everyone else and I don't want to be part of that,”

“I'm not pressuring you to quiet your job or anything just weigh your options .”

“What options? ”

“ Angry business mom or evil pervert boss”

It was choosing between the devil and the blue sea, my mom and I hardly talked or called. She didn't establish that kind of mother daughter relationship were I could tell her anything, she didn't create that kind of relationship with anyone. It was easier to talk to my father. He was always so jovial it was hard not to feel comfortable around him. I guess his colourful spirit is the only thing keeping him and my mother married, and they've been married for nearly thirty years.

“I chose neither .”

“No, No you have to pick one Gina,” she nodded in disapproval.

As furious as I felt I still wanted to be around Cole, Call it a curse or whatnot but I still felt the same way about him. I was still madly in love with the worst boss anyone could wish for. I'd chose his polished bullying over my mother's excesses any day. I'd wear whatever humiliating costume I'm presented. I never realized how much I resented her until I was asked to chose.

“My noodles are soggy” I said looking down at my bowl of watery noodles. Cooking wasn't her strong suit.

“Sorry I keep distracting you from your meal,” she smiled.

“You should have just ordered pizza or something else .”

“hell no.. Do know how much these cost me… I'm sorry but you're gonna have to eat every bit of it!” she warned.

“Fine fine” I quickly rushed the bowl of noodles, “Sharon asked me to be her maid of honor .”

The noodles getting in her mouth slipped back into the bowl as she expressed shock and bewilderment.

“That b***h!” she roared “I hope you're not be there .”

“calm down Viv … I'm gonna go and I'm gonna support her. ”

“what why?”

“because she's my friend ”

“Did the rain get into your brain somehow?” her lifted an eyebrow quizzically.

“I'm don't know ... I guess I'm not so mad at her anymore.”