The Game Of Lust

The Wake Up Call

I sat before my computer, typing down a few ideas I'd gotten from old stories and events Anna told me a while back, I thought of calling her to asked for help but I remembered she was ill and I couldn't bare to bother her with my excesses. I put all my focus into writing and I prayed for a good result, though most of the time I'd spend hours writing and writing and whenever I read what I'd written, I'd immediately feel a great need to throw up to put it another way, I found my work sickening and unimaginative. I had spent nearly the entire day eyes glued to the computer screen that my eyes began to water. I rested my head tiredly on the desk and suddenly I felt somet vibrate, I lifted my head quickly and looked around till I realized it was my my phone ringing on a short pile of books. I leaned closer to comfirm the caller and to my surprise it was Mother calling, she'd never called me out of the blue before.

“Mrs Dalton! ” I announced. I could hear music in the background, I knew without a doubt that she was most definitely hosting something.

“It's … so loud over there,” I said taking the phone away from my ear.

“ Excuse me, I was just hosting my book club,” she said and the noise reduced as she moved away.

“That's much better!”

“Alfred?” she called tartly.

“Mother ...”

“What did you do this time?”

“I don't know what you mean? ”

“I think you do.” she said and there was a long and dreadful silence.

“Alright, alright, Margret and I got into a little fight … that's all,” I quickly surrendered, what I couldn't understand was how she knew about our little dispute.

“Did Regina tell you!?”

“No she didn't, but you just did! you i***t!” mother snarled. I was fooled again just as expected. It was a known fact that Mother was a sly fox, unpredictable and deadly, as father would always say. She knew how to get what she wanted from just anyone.

“How did you know I was in a mess?” I asked knowing it was pretty much just her instincts.

“Because I trust you to ruin everything, you never seem to fail me in that aspect,” she said in a colourless tone.

“I don't want to know what happened but you have to apologize and make peace,”

“Will you at least hear me out? ”

“No, you listen to me!” she snapped, “I already know what you're going to say and For once this isn't about you Alfred, it's about all of us, Your father and I worked so hard for this opportunity, you can't imagine the kind of life she can give you, the heir to the richest company in the state, are .you even listening Alfred?”

“Yes mother, ” I answered obediently.

“Don't you dare ruin this, if she needs you to lick the bottom of her shoes then you do it without question.”

She paused for a moment, I could hear her agitated breathing over the phone. For a rich woman she sure acted poor and I couldn't understand why.

“Your entire life, we've given you everything. You don't know what it's like to be poor, I do.” Her voice softened “I don't expect you to understand but at least try.”

“I understand.”

“Be a good son and do the right thing.” she said, in her case doing the right thing only meant doing as you were told.

“Margret's arriving from her her trip tomorrow or the day after I think, I want you get there early and pick her up before her driver does. You can do all the apologizing on your way home.”

“I understand,”

“I'm going to go back to my friends now, and I love you,”

“I love you too Mother,” I replied and hung up.

That night I laid on my bed fast asleep when I heard my phone ring from the bedside table, I ignored it and hoped the caller would eventually grow tired and stop calling but it was the exact opposite, it only got worse, “Dammit!” I yelled angrily and rolled towards the table to answer the call, it ended before I could I pick up the phone. My eyes widened in bewilderment as I realized it was two a.m in the morning. In no time at all, the phone began to ring in my hands, it was Dad calling, I quickly sat up right, a cold feeling struck me but I couldn't tell why I felt so shaken and afraid. Finally I got myself to answer the call. “Hello! Dad! ” I called.

“Alfred,” he said in a shaky tone,

“Dad what is it? are you okay?”

“Alfred … it's … Anna,” he replied. I could hear him sniffling frantically.

“What happened, is she okay!?” I jumped out of bed hastily.

“She's gone.”

Hearing his words my mind immediately went blank, and could feel my heart sinking, “That's a lie, that's has to be, you said she'd be alright, that you would take care of her!” I yelled, and my voice wobbled,

“I did everything I could believe me.”

It felt like a dream, or rather I wanted it to be a dream, I've had nightmares before but none felt this real, perhaps because it was.

“Alfred I… ” before he could say anything else I hung up and threw my phone across the room, it hit the wall causing a loud thud and it crashed into pieces.

“Ahh! ” I grunted heavily, trying to collect my myself but all my efforts failed it felt as though all the air escaped my lungs and I began to hyperventilate. I melted to the ground dejectedly. The door came flying open and it was Louie, she gasped as she noticed me sitting on the floor, without giving it a second thought she rushed to me and placed her hands on my shoulders. “Alfred!, Alfred! Look at me!” she shouted,

“You need to calm down and breath!”

“Lo … Louie … I … I can't … I can't,”

I struggled.

“Alfred! ” she called and immediately pressed her hands against my mouth and nose, I was so taken by fear and anxiety that I didn't realize that she called me by my name.

“Slow your breathing,” she said and took her hands from my face and placed them on my torso.

“Just follow my breathing okay! ”she inhaled slowly and and I followed her lead, after a few seconds she exhaled and repeated it a few more times till I was relaxed.

My eyes were filled with growing tears, I sat still and watched her take her hands away.

“What Happened?” she asked.

I stared blankly at her until everything began to distort. I stood to my feet and rushed into to my jacket which was hanging on the coat rack, I snatched my keys from the pocket and darted out of the room leaving Louie behind with a perplexed look on her face.

I felt suffocated, I needed air, I had to leave. I jumped into my car and pulled out of the driveway and zoomed down the road.

There was something cruel about death, it always brought back old memories to elucidate just how much you would never see that person anymore. It leaves one with longing and regrets.

I remembered when I was eight years old, Anna had to travel for a relative's funeral. I cried when she packed her bag and headed out the door, I cried so hard annoyingly, Dad tried to hold me down but I was bent on going with her. My tantrums forced him to put me in the car with Anna, just so I'd finally shut up. As a child i could hours and unend till I got what I wanted. The entire trip I spent it curled up on her thighs and fast asleep like a baby. At the funeral she held my hand and showed me to her relatives, I remembered them pulling at my puffy round cheeks. They fed me so much I returned home two pounds heavier than I initially was.

I also recalled another event,

It was new year's eve and this time I was seventeen. It was the chrismas holidays and we were still living at our old house. Dad threw a party for his colleagues and friends. We ran of out drinks, Anna and I had to rush to the store that night. We hurriedly got what we needed but there was a sinfully long queue in front of cashier. Anna got me a present, it was watch, “To count all your many good days at school” she said.

We waited so long we ended up doing our new year countdown in the store, along with the many people waiting in line.

It all seemed to unreal to me. " What would I be without her?" I thought but I hadn't seen her since my wedding which was five months ago and I never once in all that time picked up a phone to call her. I never asked how she was doing, if she was still watching that extravagant reality TV show about drag queens trying to out do eachother. I should've done something. I touched my face and realized that it was wet with tears.

It streamed down my face and went down my chin. I drove speedily down the road and continued. I remembered when Eddy and I were little we would do so many mischievous things like when we knotted all our school neckties into a long rope and tied them around the railings on the stairs. Unfortunately Anna tripped over them and went tumbling down the stairs, I watched it happen and I remember thinking that I'd killed her, I cried so uncontrollably Untill Anna told up, she was okay but twisted her ankle from the fall. That was last time we did that and we were both so sorry for out actions and she was always so forgiving amd patient, not once did she ever raise her voice at us.

It suddenly began to rain, but it didn't stop me, I didn't know where to go or who to call. I thought about calling Regina but I knew she'd be even more of a mess than I was. I didn't want to talk to my dad or mother.

I drove round town without stopping,

After a long while of driving I stopped at a dinner, it was still too early for any restaurant to be open and fell asleep in my car, hoping I'd wake up with a nasty hangover and say “What a nightmare!” but instead I woke up a few minutes later and realized that I was still at the same place, I picked up my phone and called the first person that came to mind, Huey.

“Hello! Freddy what's up, why the heck are you calling me so early in the morning?”

“I … I can't drive anymore … I just cant? ” my voice wavered.