My Heart’s Desire

Charlotte’s POV:   “Please direct your attention to the PowerPoint where we will discuss the proper format for your upcoming public speaking assignment” Professor Wilde stated as he gave the class a once over before beginning his own speech.      This class was easily Charlotte’s least favorite. Char was well versed in the art of bullsh*t as some might say. It was easy for her to throw words together and speak in front of others, and it typically sounded quite good with her delivery. Some students cringed at the thought of speaking in front of the class, but Char was used to her thoughts being on display. After all, Raven didn’t allow for much privacy.        Have you given much thought to our trip? I’m telling you, it’s time for you to discover where you’re from.      Raven - I’m happy where I am. I know you think I’m part of some large pack in the mountains, but I don’t think there is a special life out there waiting for me.       Char - this is ridiculous. I wouldn’t be here with you if you weren’t destined for greater things.      I haven’t even shifted. For all I know I Probly have schizophrenia and you are just a hallucination.                  There are others like you.       Oh yeah - just popping up everywhere.      Well you aren’t going to find them by spending all your spare time with Dylan. Raven despised my boyfriend Dylan. She claimed anyone who wasn’t just like me wasn’t worthy. I’d been with him almost 3 years. Since my junior year of high school. He was my safe place, a comfort to me. We knew each other’s idiosyncrasies and spending time together just felt right. He knew everything about me - my favorite music, food, what books I was into. But somehow I was able to go three years without telling him about Raven. To be fair - she didn’t come into the picture until I was 17. I was 19 now and although I was a very confident type of person - there just aren’t words to say “Hey - by the way, I have an alternate identity that speaks to me in my head every day - and if that’s not enough, she believes me to be a werewolf”. I still debated whether or not they actually existed. After all - I have yet to turn into a giant dog. But Raven had been a constant in my life for the past 2 years. She knew me better than anyone, even better than Dylan. Because she is me. Just another part of me. That’s why despite the confusion at first, I did enjoy her company. I just wasn’t sure if I could believe her entirely.  “Class dismissed.” Professor Wilde announced. Thanks to Raven I didn’t catch much of his presentation. I hoped I didn’t miss anything too important. I gathered my things and proceeded to step out into the common area to meet up with Dylan before heading to my apartment. I could see him smiling at me and making his way across the room. Dylan was just under 6 foot tall, thankfully taller than me at 5’9”. He had medium brown hair just long enough to run your fingers through with matching chocolate eyes. He was even more attractive in this moment since he was holding a coffee for me.      “Thought you might need this babygirl,” He said as he kissed my cheek and handed me the liquid gold. I loved a good warm cup of coffee. Most girls preferred iced coffee through the spring and summer but I like it hot year round.     “YES! Thank you. It was a late night studying and Wilde’s class did not help wake me up either.” “Wilde is definitely not a great first class of the day” Dylan chuckled. Dylan was one year ahead of me at Grayson University, so he knew that professor well. He wrapped his arm around my waist and we headed for the sidewalk - my apartment was just a two mile walk from campus.     “So babe - the band and I are playing a set at Strum this Saturday, want to come be my forever groupie?” Dylan asked. He was a talented drummer in his brothers band, “Pummel” who played many local gigs, but this would be their first “bigger gig” with a decent payout.     “You mean you got the gig! That’s awesome - of course I’d love to go!” I exclaimed. I truly enjoyed watching him play. “Umm - where is Strum exactly?” I asked, realizing I had no idea where exactly that was.     “Oh baby, you’ll love it. It’s on the outskirts of Gatlinburg near the Smokey mountains. They get a ton of tourist traffic and this will be great for exposure for the band.”     “I’ve always wanted to visit there! But isn’t that about 4 hours from here?” I asked. “It is, but worth the drive. I’ve been there once when I was a kid and it was beautiful, no wonder it gets flooded with tourists. Maybe we will even see a bear while there, I hear they are common up there.” He gave me a small shove to the ribs as he joked.     “When do we leave?!” I asked excitedly.     “Well - the guys want to head out about noon on Saturday, we play at 7 and they want to have plenty of time to scope out the place and set up.” Dylan answered.     “Ah - crap, I’ll Probly need to drive separately then. My shift doesn’t end until 2 at the clinic Saturday.”      “Oh, that blows. I was looking forward to a road trip with you.” Dylan gave me a disappointed look. This was their first larger gig and I could tell he wanted me there with him for the whole experience.     “I promise I’ll make it by 7, wouldn’t miss it babe!” I assured him and gave him a genuine kiss on the lips. He pulled my waist closer and kissed me back, now slipping his tongue into my mouth. We were at my porch at this point and Dylan had his own job to run to, so he couldn’t stay long. Even though I wanted him to. After several minutes, we finally pulled away.      “Ugh, I’ve got to head out. I’m glad I could walk you home. Shift starts in an hour, I better go” Dylan said. He worked as a bartender at a local pub every Thursday. It wasn’t a career or anything, but it was decent money for a sophomore in college.     “Alright babe, see you Saturday, text me the address!” I said as I waved goodbye. I unlocked my apartment and headed inside to my couch, where I unloaded my backpack. I would study, but later on tonight.        So you’ll go to the mountains for Dylan. But not for us.       I thought you were supposed to be me. So why is it that you disagree with me so much.       Char - it's time to learn who you really are.  Stop avoiding this.        Raven - come on. We are going on a trip this weekend, isn't this what you wanted?  Can't you support any of my choices?        There isn't much time left. Your first shift will happen soon, I need you to be prepared.  This will be a lot easier if you locate a pack. You can't be alone for that.         Dylan is always here whenever I need him.         Dylan doesn't even know what you are! He's not our type. You have been wasting time with him.           He knows who I am.  And I'm not a "thing" yet. I'm just a person, like I've always been.         I can't stay silent for much longer. I will reveal myself as your wolf soon enough.  You have to stop fighting it.  You are NOT a mere human Char.  There are only a few moon cycles left before I reveal my true form. You are living a fake life.          How many moon cycles are we talking?          In 3 months.... you had better find a pack to take you in before then. This is important.