how do you feel when everything you try to do accomplish in life help others but no one wants to help you but want to complain
4999 Words
how do you deal with someone that don't appreciate you no matter what is it that you do or you try to do what do you do why do we put up with stupidity disrespect I don't understand it for the life of me when you love someone yes you do put up with so much bull crap you have blindfolds on your eyes you don't want to take the blindfolds off to really see how that person really is you just want to Hope that this person is going to do right by you and still no matter what you do or how you show this person how you really feel about them they don't care all they want to do is use you abuse you mentally physically emotionally drain you you love this person you don't see no f*** in that person you don't care because you look over how this person treats you because why you love this person unconditionally so you going to put up with all types of BS that this person throws at you you not seeing a bigger picture that you're doing everything yourself yet you still hoping and praying that this person that you love so much will finally get it but they freaking don't care what do you do you don't know what to do except for accepted and look over it but at the end of the day you feeling some type of way but want to look in the mirror at won't blame yourself because you can leave this person alone but no you won't do that because you looking at being satisfied in a s****l manner you can't even talk to this person express your feelings to this person what do you do how can you keep on living your life like this I know that life's a b**** and we do attend to believe in a person would eventually change and would get it but at the end of the day they don't get it and they don't give a f*** at all about your feelings they don't take consideration and how you feel about anything why because they are what narcissist that's what they are only give a damn about themselves and care about themselves and when you trying to tell them that you're going through something all they doing is going in one ear not the other and they don't give a damn about what you're saying to them only thing that's going on in their head is it's about me who cares they don't long as it's about them as long as they get what they want don't care about what you want that's the world we live in today if it do not benefit them they are not going to help you don't nobody do anything from the heart no more I don't give a damn who they are you have to give something in order to receive anything in this world today that we live in today which is sad if I do something for someone it's from the heart I don't expect you to pay me back but the world we live in today if someone does anything for you it better benefit them first and then maybe they'll help you then sometimes they won't help you if they not getting anything first they don't give a damn about helping you you could tell them your life story all they will pity you yes they will and they may even have sympathy for you but at the end of the day they still looking at but what you going to give me if I do this for you I don't understand people in this world today everyone doesn't think alike I know that everyone doesn't have a heart I know that there are so many people out here who heart is so cold I know that too even when I try to have a cold heart I can't and I've been f***** over so many damn times it's a shame but what I do I still try to do what I can for others and I don't or they don't care about my feelings they don't consider my feelings or how I feel about this or how I feel about that it's all about them them them once again what are they narcissists it's sad but yet it's so f****** true I never thought that I would ever come across someone that's a narcissist but I have lately is that you can sit up there and tell them okay I'm going through this I'm going through that but the main thing they saying to you but will you help me with this will you help me with that they don't care that you just told him that you going through something they don't care that you're not happy they don't care that you're depressed they don't care that you suffer with PTSD they don't care about your health they don't give a damn about anything but themselves and those people are narcissists sad but f****** true and at the end of the day if I don't have to f****** deal with them I won't deal with them do you know what I do I oscillate myself from them and I stay away I don't have anything else to do with them or say to them because I know that whatever I say to them only thing they thinking about and they head is I don't give a damn what she's saying to me it's all about me baby who cares does she has mental emotional problems who cares so what they don't care all they care about is themselves and we call those people narcissists that's all they are is all about them it don't matter if you're hurting inside it don't matter that you suffer with PTSD it don't matter that you have to wear a certain type of contacts to be able to see clearly it don't matter they don't care long as it's about them they are good they don't take you in consider it doesn't matter about you that's so sad sometimes I wish that I could have a cold heart sometimes I wish that I could not give a f*** but it's not in me my heart is so full of blood and it's warm not cold I don't know how to be cold-hearted to anybody I only know how to show love and appreciation and gratefulness and humbleness and caring that's all I know but I'm always getting f***** over I asked for little not a lot it don't take much I can't even get that I don't understand it I guess I never will but you know what I know that God got me and I am blessed and highly favored and at the end of the day I will succeed in life and be what I want to be and definitely where I want to be cuz it's definitely not here and you know what it's okay because I know that my future is going to be brilliant excellent exquisite I already know that I just have to wait patiently for everything that happened cuz right now all I can say is this is my testimony and I am going to be fine I will be able to sit back and think about how I struggle and how I didn't have nobody that really wanted to help me that wanted to keep me down this I know I'm going to be fine right now I'm crawling and they say you have to crawl before you walk of course you know that cuz when you're a baby the first thing you doing besides starting to roll over or scoot on your stomach you learn how to get up and stand once you realize that you can stand up you start trying to take steps once you have those steps down pack you begin to walk once you know that you can walk you begin to run once you know how to run you start to learn how to jump once you know that you can jump then everything else just falls right into place cuz now you are succeeding with not crawling anymore you are walking you are running you are jumping now you know that you can do that everything else just falls right into place the way you want it but before everything falls into place you have to crawl before you walk some people think that everything is going to happen right away because you wanted to happen right away but that's not the answer and that's not going to happen we have to crawl before we walk and understand life isn't always going to be the way we wanted to be there's always going to be trial and tribulations that we have to face an obstacles that we have to go through before we get to where we want to be at and everything that happens to us is a reason why everything happens it just doesn't happen it's a reason behind why everything in life happens to us I'm living proof and I'm still learning why me why do I have to go through so much to get to where I'm trying to get to to do what's needed why me why do I have to go through all of this b******* to get to where I need to be I know why it's a lesson that I must learn to overcome things that has happened to me in my life over the years now I have to pay attention analyze people and just see that what they could possibly want from me I have to see that if I don't how will I know and you know if you don't ask questions how are you going to get the answers that you need that's why they say a closed mouth won't get fed in other words if you don't say nothing how will anyone know how you're feeling or what you're going through I say this don't be silent let them know whether it's good bad ugly you cannot keep your mouth closed you have to open it up and speak you can say things a certain way it don't have to be in a way of hurting the person to get your point across but you can let them know that hey I don't like that don't do that again or don't say that to me I know it's the way that you say things to a person to show them that you mean business and that's that take it or leave it cuz at the end of the day you don't owe nobody nothing at all whatsoever you don't owe nobody a damn thing only person you owe is yourself then again you don't even owe yourself nothing you just have to make sure you love yourself appreciate yourself love yourself what emphasis on love yourself because if you don't love you how do you expect to love someone else you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you your flaws and all can't nobody just say that I love you or you can just tell somebody you love them if you don't love yourself that don't make no sense whatsoever but I say this speaks louder than words show me rather than tell me I don't need you telling me I love you and your action shows differently I really don't need that if you love me show action cuz you know love is an action it's a feeling and we mistaken that word love for lust it's not the same thing it's totally different some people don't get it I can speak for myself I could tell so many people that I love you but if my actions doesn't show it it means nothing so why would I tell you that I love you and don't show action you already know action suites louder than words but if I keep on telling you I love you and I'm not showing no action that I really do then you know that is fake that I don't really love you I'm just telling you what you want to hear cuz you telling me I love you so I'm saying it back I love you too wouldn't really at the end of the day in a reality I don't love you I lust you care about you think about you but do I really love you maybe I do maybe I don't my heart my love you but my mental mind doesn't and if I don't love you mentally how can I possibly love you physically emotionally I can't that's okay though because I do have a big heart people take advantage of it and kill them part about it I let them one thing I need to learn to stop letting people take advantage of me but I still have to take advantage of me cuz if I had it my way I was saved so many people that deserve to be safe let me say that cuz there are so many people that don't deserve it then there are some that do deserve it I know that I deserve happiness I deserve someone to care about me I deserve it but will I ever get it who knows only one know is God he knows know my heart and everything else better than I do but the words that I utter out of my mouth is the truth and sometimes the truth set you free or sometimes it can hurt someone do I want to hurt people no do people want to hurt me yes all the time and what do I do I look over them like that and still do what deal with them be there for them when they don't deserve it and they don't even try to be there for me when I am in need I must learn to stop being there for others that don't want to be there for me I must learn that people only care about themselves I don't give a damn about me and if there's nothing that's going to benefit them they don't want to help you or do anything for you it's sad but true when you keep telling someone that you need something they don't pay attention or even listen to you it goes in one ear and out the other they don't care and you shouldn't even care either but when you are the type of person like I am that can't be cold-hearted you put up with so much until you get to the point where your health isn't great you can't focus no more like you used to you can't do the things you used to do now your health not good anymore you can't even physically work inside of a warehouse anymore like you used to why vertigo it comes and It Go you have no control over it and when you sitting up trying to find work for at home and can't do that mess with your mental state and you don't know what to do you could become very overwhelmed with a lot of things in life and you try to tolerate it and deal with it but it's still not the way you wanted to be regardless of how many people trying to help you it's still not happening what do you do definitely will have no one to talk to they listen or pretend that they listen listening but they don't care so that's when you shut down shut out stay in your lane don't talk to nobody that's crazy I know it is but that's the world we live in today my dad used to always say this saying people are the one who makes you and people are the one who breaks you I never understood that until now I understand what he meant by that now and it's just disheartening this is a cold world that we live in today you have to always kind of keep your guard up cuz when you let your guard down completely down that is when your heart gets dumped on which is sad but that's the world we live in we have narcissists we have manipulators we have liars thieves cheaters the list could go on and on it's sad but it's the truth society is not good and it's like what do you do to trying understand your life today when you have been through so much when you have tried to help so many and you have those that won't even lift a finger to help you but you live in all your fingers to help them what do you do how do you deal with that sad but true I don't know because I am on a emotional roller coaster right now and it is falling off the track slowly one wheel at a time it's like you think that everything is about to be great when the enemy is trying to make it worse for you when the devil is showing up and showing out and no matter how you try to kick that devil down keep them down he getting back up and it's like you're in a corner stuck and you can't get out that corner no matter what you do what do you do you sit there and you take all the BS from people and you don't know what box they are going to come out of or how they going to feel when they wake up or what are they going to say to you you don't know until you are in that situation then maybe you'll know how to handle it what to do what to say and don't be afraid to express your feelings cuz once again you don't owe nobody nothing not even yourself I say this to say Life goes on time waits for no one it keeps going and going even when you're not going time keeps on moving so you got to keep on moving and when you walking through that dark tunnel you keep on walking and walking till you get to the end and see the light that's going to shine so bright that damn near blind you but you didn't stop walking and you didn't give up time waits for no one you got to keep moving with time cuz it's going to keep going it don't matter it's going to keep going that's the life you know and you have to understand it because our future is in God's hands and that's what we have to learn to care and be humble and grateful and appreciative and don't be a narcissist you don't have to be that so don't be it I know that everyone has been brought up differently in their lives none of us is the same we are all totally different we might been taught differently but we still know our rights from our wrongs and how to have respect for others cuz respect is earned it really is I can't say it enough love yourself it was a point in my life where I don't think I did love myself I guess cuz everything I had went through in life I didn't love myself or care for myself and always had excuses for things that was happening to me and you see where that got me right nowhere don't make excuses up if you could try to fix things fix it if you can't fix it and if it's out of your hands leave it the way it is cuz God will handle it don't you try to handle it if you can't fix it leave it the way it is we have to learn we lessons learn how do we know if something ain't right if we wasn't taught how do we know we have to learn and experience a lot of things that's how we learn and deal with everything and I like today a learning experience because if we don't go through something we can't learn how to deal with anything I believe that having experience with a lot of things in life we face that's how we learned to deal with a lot of things that we never thought we would have to deal with but sometimes we are giving a task to see if we pass it I'll sell it I ain't going to lie sometimes when I'm giving a test or something if I don't pass it I feel like a failure but when I do pass it I'm on top of the world and I know the only person that showing me that and that's helping me is God he is the one that's helping me get through life making me realize and showing me that I am worthy of finding Love again knowing my calling is to give myself to him I never thought that I would be in a situation to the point where I basically don't have nothing you couldn't have told me at the age I am today that I will have been through so much over the years I have to losing my wife everything changed my life shift and I did not expect that to happen was I prepared no I did not know that I was ever going to become a widow you couldn't have told me that but as I always say that we're not going to be on this Earth forever when God is ready for us we're going to leave here I don't care if you don't have no type of illness you will still leave here when he's ready for you are you going to be prepared no cuz you don't know when your time going to come it's like this life I'm living right now do I like it no but at the end of the day I don't have no choices so I have to deal with the cars that's been dealt to me and deal with it that way and appreciate what I have don't complain about what I don't have there are a lot of other people out here that is worse off than me they don't even know where they going to sleep at at night they don't even know if they going to have a meal or even hot water to bathe in or warm bed to sleep in they don't know at least I do know I do have a roof over my head and might not be where I want to be but it's right now and like I said this is my testimony and that's what I have to look at that's all this is and with that being said I'm not about to be living like this forever it's just temporarily it's not permanently I hold on to that thought and just know that this is not my life and never going to be and never will be anymore that's around where I supposed to be life will be great and I would be happy cuz I'll be doing what I want to do but just my passion for singing and writing songs and I'm so ready for that
life is about to be so beautiful for me I deserve it everything that's about to happen I deserve it I'm not about to have to ask anyone for nothing anymore I can't wait for my blessings and those that didn't believe I'm going to feel some type of way when it's a reality I can't wait to see the faces of those who was saying that I was delusional and I needed help cuz they were saying that something mentally was going on with me to make those people eat those words it's going to be so awesome I just got to be patient and wait until my time come to work through that dark tunnel and see the light at the end of it that's going to shine so bright that my vision might become clear the doors are going to open so why for me to walk through and keep walking with my head up that feeling great and accomplish everything that I want to accomplish your life that's is going to be so awesome I can't wait to not struggle anymore it's going to feel so good to be able to do what I want to do and live the way that I want to live and have a peace of mind no worries about anything resting comfortably in my bed my home with my man laying next to me everyday every night someone to open up with and talk to about anything and everything and start a future with my man the love of my life he will always be the one for me I know that I've been married twice the first time was a lesson learned the second time I found out what love felt like what it was meaning now I can give the same love to someone else and make them happy that's what I'm waiting for to give all this love to that person and show him that I will be with him until death do us part as long as breath is in my body I will be with him and only him and be able to utter the words I love you face to face that's going to be so awesome hopefully I won't be nervous which I might be cuz it's been such a long time as I actually been with a man the last relationship was with a woman live in a lesbian lifestyle actually thought that I was going to get married to that person but you know what she wasn't the one and that's that that chapter is closed I don't need to have a woman in my life like that I am ready to be with a man don't get me wrong though I know that I'm still attracted to women that is one particular one that I'm really attracted to that no matter what me and her go through I will always be attracted to her that's just how it is how our relationship is but it's okay it would never go no further we may say little stuff to each other whatever but we don't react on it so it's all good I know that boundaries we don't cross them that's just that that's how it is love as we know it's a feeling I have that and I know it I'm ready to show it give it away to someone that really deserves it hella deserve me cuz I'm one of a kind must you be with me you would never want to be with anyone else cuz you would think of me probably when you was someone else it's the truth I am a confident woman not conceited confident most would think I am conceited but I'm not I know that I'm a beautiful looking woman inside and out I know that I'm a great catch if you catch me most would say that I'm conceited or I think I'm on that no it's not that like I said I'm a confident woman and can't nobody take that away from me definitely they can't take my joy away I won't let them sometimes we get to the point in our lives where we want someone to acknowledge us to give us compliments every day to just tell us that are you so beautiful today oh baby your hair looks so nice oh I love the outfit you got on Oh bae you smell real good I love the outfit you're wearing you know we need to hear things like that it's the little things that matter not that big things words matter actions matters physical activities matters we need that type of stuff definitely from our spouse who can you still love us unconditionally sometimes we just need to hear compliments from our loved one husband our wives you just don't know words makes a person feel loved wanted appreciate it it's not all about the material things only about feelings and your significant other expressing those feelings towards you that's awesome and great love feels good it don't suppose to hurt if you are with somebody who tell you they love you but want to put their hands on you out of anger that's not love walk away run if you can but once you do that don't ever look back no matter what keep going life is like playing Russian roulette you have to be careful and keep your gird up cuz once you let your guard down that's what somebody want to take advantage of you take your kindness for weakness and walk don't all over you like you a piece of trash you got to be careful who you love and who you give your heart to cuz you don't want your heart shattering to a million pieces watch who you love be careful with your heart is sensitive can I give everyone your heart cuz they don't deserve it you have to keep your guard up at all times don't let nobody run over you but take advantage of you keep your head up stay strong and you'll probably live long without having to deal with someone in your life that never should have been in your life because they didn't do nothing but bring misery and drama don't need that life's too short to be miserable as f*** stay home don't change for anyone
- Writer
