learning to put me first to be selfish for a change and not worry about nobody else
1049 Words
I'm always making sure everybody is straight and put myself last and in the back but put others forward well I'm not going to do that anymore I want to learn how to be selfish and just worry about Sparkle because at the end of the day everybody is for everybody now I am about to be selfish and worry about me and try to be happy stress-free wonder what that's going to feel like depressed free wonder how that's going to feel like at the end of the day I will not be worry about anybody else problems just gonna be extremely selfish cause I know that my life is about to change for the good and I know that I deserve everything that's going to happen for me God has answered my prayers and it's been such a very long time coming even though I had to faced a lot of obstacles through this journey that I have been chasing for years I can honestly say that the storm is over I will finally have a piece of mind and know that everything happens for a reason and we don't know the reason why a lot of things in our life happen but it was a reason that I had to go through everything that I went through to get to where I'm about to be at I know that things have been terrible but I fought through it I made it and all I can say is prayer helps although I have like a small support system but at the end of the day I can really say that I guess it was kind of worth it even though there has been times where things have become very overwhelming and I wanted to just give up and just say forget it I don't care throwing in the towel but no I didn't I continue to do what was needed for my happiness although it's kind of iffy being in a long distance relationship very hard especially when it seems as if the communication is off I understand I don't know how to deal with a lot of things though at the end of the day cuz everything is new to me and this is something that I'm not used to but a lot of people do it and they deal with it and they get through it I understand how they do it because they interact with each other virtually and they make it happen and playing trips and stuff like that on seeing each other eventually but that's not the case in my relationship it seems as if I mentioned things and nothing changes it's like what do you do how do you deal with that so I'm telling you there has been a lot of temptation coming in my face like and I know that it's just a test to see if I will pass it and it's something though the thing is though they are being more attentive to me than my significant other that I supposed to be with at a distance and it worries me a little bit but a simple fact is if I'm interacting with others better than I'm supposed to be interacting with the person I'm with that raise a eyebrow and it's like what the f*** am I doing what is this what's going on those are questions that I ask myself is this person Worthy do you think you going to ever see this person do you think you go ever really make them understand you I don't know every man's a mystery for the simple fact is when I speak on something it doesn't happen and I know others will be like you should leave that person alone if that at all but it's kind of hard when your heart is in it I know it's only been about to be for a month but it seems as if I've been doing this woman for a long time cuz he has so much in common and then we both understand each other but at the end of the day something really has to change or give because I don't know anymore really cuz I don't know what to do how to fix this am I able to fix it but why is it just me trying to fix something why can't it be we trying to fix something cuz if it's just me trying to fix it then I can be alone if I got to do it myself cuz you know what I'm saying I can do bad All by myself so if you are in a relationship long distance it works both ways not just one way and that's where I'm at with this I don't understand a lot of things but I'm trying to be understanding really trying but at the end of the day it seems as if I'm feeling and is keep on getting closer to throwing in the towel maybe but every time I'm about to do that something be like no don't do it give it a chance she's your person it's just right now it's hard for both of us I get it do I like it no I don't like it this mess sucks badly Sometimes I don't know rather I am coming or going life has been such a challenge for me over the years my life has been such a emotional rollercoaster and I'm not able to get off the rollercoaster without trial and tribulations it's very hard these days and sometimes it's hard to even deal with this life and I'm always feeling so alone and empty inside since my wife died trying to pick up the pieces of my life and restore everything cause at first I didn't think that I had a purpose for a long time so right today I am feeling like I know my purpose now and that's getting my music career going through among everything else I want to write my first book about my life letting everyone know me the real me no filter or sugar coating anything in my life I am thinking that the world needs to know who I am all of me
- Writer
