Life is not a dream

My name is Tiffany and at only twenty-two, I'm trying to really start living. I'm going to have to leave all my dreams and fantasies behind and look just ahead to try to accomplish my ultimate goal, raise my own family. I have a medium stature, long dark brown hair slightly wavy, my eyes are also dark brown. My whole family inherited my father's deep gaze. My skin is pale and my body is thin but with the defined curves. I grew up in a pretty large family, at least I've always been the school girl with more siblings, but despite all the madness and sibling disagreements it wouldn't change anything in my life. Although it was difficult to grow up being the youngest of the group that contrary to what you may think was not the mascot of the house, but rather the blame dumps. Whenever something bad happened the faults all turned to me, after all I was the youngest and they thought that nothing bad would happen to me and they would be safe. But over time things didn't get better, my reputation as clumsy and spoiling everything continued and the consequences were me who put up with them even without guilt.    After a while my mother didn't even waste time questioning who had screwed up and immediately started scolding me. My sense of injustice grew and I ended up walking away from my mother a little bit. Even though I walked away from my own mother, I still had my brothers who, perhaps because they felt a little guilty about what was happening to me, protected me.   My parents were very guarded and always tried their best to transmit to all their children the great values of life. We had no right to be very independent and only when we were of legal age were we allowed to go out, but with a very short curfew. I never spent a night at a friend's house and hanging out with my colleagues was unthinkable. We were always very guarded and my social life was simply non-existent. That made me a little bit of a stranger to everything and everyone. My shyness grew in me and became an important part of my being.   I've always dreamed of living in a fairy tale. My life revolved around fantasies and dreams. I imagined that my life would be as perfect as in the great novels. I dreamed of finding my prince charming who rescued me from all my fears, uncertainties and shyness. Only on the night of our wedding would I give myself to the love of my life and we would live happily ever after surrounded by countless children. Yes, 're correct, I was saving myself for my "great love." So naïve that I was. An incurable romantic. But unfortunately life does not allow us such a thing. When we finally open our eyes and place our feet right on the ground we understand that life is full of cruelty, hardship, pain and broken hearts.   Right now my heart is completely broken, torn into thousands of little pieces and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to mend this heart of mine and be happy again. I lost all my belief in love and happiness, all the brightness that my eyes once had disappeared and gave way to the darkness in which my soul sank completely.   And it was just like that, with a broken heart that I finally left behind all my fantasies and all my immense romanticism and became a cold, heartless person. I stopped feeling and listening to my heart and became a negative person and also a little realistic to try to at least fulfill my great and unique life goal, to be a mother and thus to be able to dedicate my whole life to doing everything possible so that my children could be at least a little happier than me. I was only seventeen when I started going out at night. Strange hum???? But it was all thanks to my almost twin sister, Bette. We've always been a lot alike and even some people thought we were really twins. However with the growth some differences became notorious. Our hair for example. Bete's is quite thin and smooth and she always wore it short. Our curves also differ. Although both of us are thin my curves have always been more delineated. When we were little, we said we were twins because we were born on the same day, but three years apart. I was her birthday present and I think that's why I was able to earn a earlier social life than my brothers because I was with her after all.   Bette's dream was to be a singer, but her shyness was in her way. To help her overcome her shyness and stage fright, her colleagues took her to a karaoke bar. So she could train and prepare to pursue her dream. Although they introduced her to the bar her colleagues were not willing to follow her every weekend to the same place, but she was determined and so just like that I became her company and her support. Bette managed to convince my parents to let me go with her all the time so she wouldn't go alone. She was my mother's favorite which made it easy to convince my parents to do what she wanted. And that's how our night trips to the karaoke bar began.   Every Saturday glad we went to the bar. It was superexciting to me to be able to go out at night. We used to get to the bar early because we depended on public transport, but that didn't take us away. We were on a big mission. Our only problem was curfew. We had to be home at 2:00 a.m. which was not good since it was when the excitement started, but we couldn't disobey or we would be f*******n to go out again.   We held on for a while, but it was getting boring coming out of the bar when the excitement was forming. Together we've created a plan. Gradually we would increase the length of stay in the bar trying to make sure that our parents didn't notice and eventually accept. The only problem was our mother. She looked like a hawk and although we took off our shoes from home and made no noise walking in beaks in the dark she could sense our presence and immediately lit her bedside light as a way to control us.... Arghhhh... What frustration....   In time we managed to convince our parents to let us stay in the bar for as long as we wanted since the environment of that space was peaceful even a little familiar. We even invited them to come with us to watch us sing, but obviously they refused and so there were no arguments to stop us. Victoria!!!! We got our right to stay in the bar until the closing enjoying all the fun that was that place. It was absolutely ecstatic and the people were fantastic. So much diversity of ages and styles. Not bad for the beginning of a social life. I just wasen´t counting on finding the great love of my life there.