Life is not a dream

The Broken Fantasy.

My eyes were constantly looking for Sean's, but it seemed like it wasn't even there. His gaze was distant and indifferent. The sweetness I saw in his gaze the day he presented himself was no longer in it. I couldn't figure out what was going on. Would it all be my imagination? Did I dream it all? Before he sat down, he came to greet everyone. When he approached me my whole body shuddered and my head started rolling as soon as I felt its scent....

Wow, what was that perfume that makes me so weak. It felt like my soul was abandoning me by clinging to it. I could feel myself melting completely.

However this feeling did not last long. As soon as he walked away he became completely oblivious to me and never looked at me again except for his stupid and annoying jokes.

I sighed deep and tried to conform myself. It was not yet this time I had met my prince charming.

I settled down and tried to ignore it and enjoy the night and the fun. However I soon realized that it was going to be a tricky task as he eventually approached me, but not with that sweetness in his eye, instead he had a rascal smile and a defiant look.

It wasn't long before he started making fun of me and annoying me. He was being very unpleasant and I was getting sick of him.

The will I had to see him again soon disappeared and gave way to the contempt I began to feel for him, or so I thought.

The truth is, somehow he kept messing with me and I didn't know why?

I couldn't figure it out. Sometimes he was nice and sweet to me, but other times he decided to go back to his irritating state and make his stupid jokes.

I was getting so sick of him that I even wished he wouldn't show up at the bar. As I said earlier his work didn't allow him to be there every weekend so I could get some peace Saturdays away from him.

 Um...

 Peace. There was no peace. For some reason I spent all night staring at the door to see if he would come and it seemed like I knew he wasn't coming, my heart was shaking with anguish all night, which didn't happen on the days when he showed up. In those days I was calm and relaxed until he appeared clear.... I never knew what kind of personality he was going to bring with him. The soft or the irritant one.

I couldn't understand my feelings. On the one hand, I thought I hated him with all my might, but on the other hand my little romantic heart only calmed down in his presence.

His attitudes towards me increasingly confused me. I didn't know what to think, and no longer I tried to ignore him and even walk away from him, he always found a way to get close to me both to be caring and to be unpleasant.

There were nights when we had fantastic conversations and we laughed a lot and he seemed to really care about me. He wondered everything about what I had done during the week and what my life was like. He seemed really interested in me.

Unfortunately, that attitude didn't last long. I began to notice that he was drinking more and more. He was getting out of control and I didn't understand why. I just knew I didn't want anything to do with a person like him.

Little did I know yhat even worse was to come...

The tension that hung over us was getting more and more noticeable and everyone around us was realizing what was going on.

The comments between the group began, but we both insisted on not listening. Everyone around us told us that something was going on, that we were falling in love with each other, but both he and I ignored it. Every time a comment like this was said he would turn, even if we were having a good moment of peace with a pleasant conversation and even with some fun through the middle, as soon as the comment was said his eyes immediately changed, his face was emotionless and soon he turned into the i***t I hated. The rest of the night would be spoiled.

Frustration took over me. I couldn't handle  moohisd swings.

I spent a whole week debating with myself what was going on between us and what we both meant to each other, but I came to no conclusion. I couldn't admit to myself that I felt something for someone so unpredictable and his attitudes increasingly confused me and that's when I decided to try to take away all that tension that existed between us.

Another Saturday arrived and, as usual, my sis and I went to the bar. Along the way I was preparing for a new stage. Ignore the appeal and tension that surrounded us.

Every time my body impelled me to look at the door I ignored the appeal and kept trying to have fun.

When the boys arrived, I was surrounded by the group, and there was no way for Sean to even be around me. The bar was so full that we were all very close together and did not even give him the opportunity to get close to say hello. I just waved at him without even looking him in the eye.

Since I was determined not to let myself be intimidated by Sean's strong presence, I avoided his gaze all night, but it was impossible not to feel his gaze on me. I felt my whole body vibrate and the chills ran all over my body. From the corner of my eye I could see the effect my difference was having on him. He seemed to be angry, frustrated and even a little sad.

As a way to provoke him even more, I invited one of his friends to sing with me. I was in the mood to sing a duet. I thought he understood that I was tired of that game or whatever that was and left me alone but my plan went wrong when his friend Mark, whom I had invited to sing, refused claiming that wasn't too good to sing. I did my best puppy look by quickly flashing my eyelashes casting my most affectionate look to convince him, but it didn't work. That's when Mark suggested I sing with Sean. I didn't want them to realize that my will was to provoke Sean and as such I couldn't give up singing. All that desire to sing a duet couldn't have disappeared. With no way to get out of this I ended up agreeing and to make matters worse he insisted on choosing the song. And what a song....

When they called our names and I heard the song that we were going to sing my heart stopped. How was this happening? So much that I struggled all night to ignore it and eventually ended up in his clutches singing one of the most romantic songs that could exist....