BUTTERFLY

WHISPERS FROM THE DAY LIKE DEATH

The man they call God... Where the hell is he now waiting in silence!

Who is omniscient? God, the angels, maybe the devil. The omniscient one whose lap we run to, even bow down and pray to... God, the angels, the devil, maybe even the devil, all of them in fact one person, sitting on his throne, sipping his wine, watching everything that happens. What would happen if people found out that the man who waits for the passing of time with a delightful smile on his lips is not God at all?

Without even putting my clothes on, I rushed out of the bathroom and waved the envelope in my hand. Grandma was saying something to the bright light in front of her when she stopped and looked at me.

"Grandma, look, Kize sent it! I urgently need to sleep." I said and ran to her and handed her the envelope. She frowned and shook her head from side to side as she put on her glasses and read the conditions on the envelope Kize had sent. She was always grumpy, but I could usually tell how she felt. She was upset with me. But she had no reason to be upset, I guess.

"This guy better not kill you in the process of training you." She said as she checked the back of the envelope. I curled my lip, would he be so hard on me? After all, Kize was aware of my current strength and his training had to be commensurate with it. If that didn't happen and he gave me very difficult tasks, I planned to save myself by fainting or playing dead.

"I'll handle it, don't worry," I said with a smile. She handed me the envelope, took off her glasses and looked at the green light in front of her. Grandma was communicating with her friends using this light and I had absolutely no idea who her friends were. Kize also had a yellow light, but it was different from Grandma's. She could not teleport or see things. She could only record her voice in the light and send it to her friend.

"Go to sleep, I'll wake you up." I nodded and kissed her cheek and went back to the bathroom. After putting on my clothes, I wrapped a towel around my still wet hair and went back to my room. After leaving the envelope on the nightstand, I lay down on the bed.

But I wasn't sleepy!

Sighing, I pulled the covers over my head and exhaled deeply. I was excited, both because I was going to spend time with Kize and because I was one step closer to going home. And I was going to be a strong woman when I came home, and my family would be surprised at how strong I was when I came back. They would even think that I wasn't clumsy because I wasn't constantly startled and clumsy. I would be appreciated. Everyone would be grateful that I had saved the butterfly race. In short, I would be respected, I wouldn't be ignored, and the Queen would regret not breastfeeding me as a baby.

Of course, they could be ungrateful. The point was that I had done something good, but in the end I would be accepted, and they would be happy that I wasn't dead. My brother and sister would certainly be very happy. I would meet my brother's wife and tell their children about my adventures here.

I smiled and bit my lower lip and imagined coming home, people welcoming me with joy, my family crying with joy. I showed them my power in my imagined future. Moreover, God would give me wings and everyone would admire my big colorful wings.

"Een, how many times do I have to call out?" I opened my eyes when I heard Grandma's angry voice, but at that very moment I was dazzled because Grandma had turned on the light in the room. I covered my face with my hand and tried to block the light.

"Let me sleep a little more, please." I said in a raspy voice and closed my eyes, which had been dazzled by the light, but Grandma had pulled the quilt off me. I guess that meant I wasn't allowed to sleep any longer.

"It's two o'clock, you'll barely make it to the mountains. Get up." When she said that I had to, but my right eye wouldn't open. It was as if my eyelid was stuck. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Come on, I've packed your bag. Be quick." Grandma said as I slowly got out of bed. She was talking nonstop. I took the clothes she handed me and went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I might have dozed off while washing my face with hot water, but when Grandma knocked on the bathroom door, I was startled and quickly dried my face with a towel. Why was this woman in such a hurry!

Besides, was I really going to do this every Sunday?

When I came out of the bathroom after putting on the clothes Grandma had given me, I saw her standing in front of the living room door. Just thinking about going out was enough to make me feel cold.

"Come on." She said with a sigh. While I put on my coat, Grandma put my beret on my head. She handed me the bag and I put on my boots. When she pushed me out the door, the air was so cold I felt like my bones had shrunk. I wrapped my arms around my body and exhaled deeply. I looked at the smoke coming out of my mouth and exhaled again.

I was stepping in a small puddle of snow and making footprints in the snow when a yellow light appeared in front of me. "Follow the light." Kize said in a calm voice. I nodded and followed the light as it slowly moved towards the mountains.

"Good morning." I said after stretching my arms out and yawning. But Kize didn't answer. It was as if I was already aching from exhaustion. Was it really necessary for me to train at this hour! I mean, couldn't it have been at noon?

As I approached the wooded area, of course, I could not miss the gradual acceleration of the light. I tried to keep up, hoping it wouldn't get any faster. I certainly wasn't eager to run at this hour and in this cold. I could just sit in the forest and wait for the wolves to eat me.

Once I was inside the forest, I looked around. Even though I could see a little bit thanks to the white snow, I wouldn't even know if a monster jumped on me. Normally I would be scared to be in the forest in this darkness, but I was relieved that Kize could see me.

My breathing quickened as I walked uphill towards the mountain. Except for my footsteps in the snow, there was no sound in the forest. Occasionally, when the wind blew the snow off the tree branches, it made a sound. When I first heard that sound, if it had come from behind me, I would definitely have been scared. But I wasn't scared because I saw the snow falling. Even though it was cold, my body was warm because I was running and I started to sweat.

"It's a bit, well, too quiet here." I said, my sleep was completely gone. Normally in the forest there should be animal sounds and so on, but it was unbelievably quiet. Quiet enough to make me shiver. Not to mention the fact that Kize didn't say anything. What was the reason for him not responding to my words, or was he asleep or something?

When the yellow light got faster and faster, I had to speed up too. "Kize, can you slow down a bit?" I said, moaning with exhaustion. I was out of breath, but again he said nothing. Even though I wanted to get angry and react, I could only run because I had to keep up with the speed of the light. Because the light had accelerated so much. My legs felt like they were on fire. "Slow down a little please." I said again. Would he come and pick me up if I fainted? Something told me he wouldn't.

When I heard a footstep, other than my own, rising in the silence, it sent shivers down my spine. Out of the corner of my eye, I looked in the direction of the sound, but it was dark so I couldn't see anything, and I couldn't look carefully because I was running after the yellow light that kept moving forward. As the footsteps continued without stopping, I felt a sense of dread. But then the idea came to me that it could be Kize. Or it could have been a wild animal. Either way, since Kize could see me, I didn't need to be afraid. After all, if I was attacked by something, Kize would definitely come to my aid, and since he was extremely fast, he would be there before I got hurt.

I stopped running for a few seconds, careful not to let the light get too far away from me. Whoever was behind me ran when I ran and stopped when I stopped. Moreover, his footsteps sounded like he had two legs. It could have been Kize, but there was no reason for him to follow me. Was he trying to scare me? Maybe he was gauging my reaction in case of fear and this was part of the training.

"Is that you behind me?" I said tiredly, I could have begged him to answer that question, because if it wasn't him, I would surely have passed out from fear. Or I could have called out to Kize for help, but as far as I could tell, the person following me wasn't trying to catch me. If he was trying to catch me, he wouldn't have stopped when I stopped. Wouldn't he?

Oh God, how high was this mountain, exactly? Not being able to see my destination seemed to make me more tired. And it was even harder to run with so much on my mind. Although I must have been scared because I sped up a lot.

When a familiar whisper reached my ears along with the wind, I felt goosebumps. I had heard this whisper before, in the forest. It was the same sound I had heard the day I went to get water from the stream to see Kize. I swallowed involuntarily, but my throat was so dry that I coughed. It couldn't be a coincidence that I heard the same sound tonight. I was going through the same thing and Kize had to be behind it. So it was Kize who followed me and scared me that day!

Oh, but he asked me what I was afraid of. I was going to ask him about it later. Although I was relieved to realize that it was Kize who was following me now. Although it was scary that he was following me like this without answering my questions, I guess it was part of the training. I was going to be brave and follow the yellow light and pass the test for sure.

I frowned when I heard the whisper again. I was already in a bad mood and this was making me angry. "It's not funny." I said grumpily. I wondered how long I had run, half an hour! Maybe longer and I was definitely out of strength. As the footsteps started to move away from me, I knew I had reached the top of the mountain because the path I had been running on flattened out. I took a deep breath and tried to run faster, even though my legs ached. I couldn't wait to ask Kize to pay for following me.

As I smiled triumphantly when I saw the light of Kize's house in the distance, I tripped and fell face first into the snow. As the ground slid beneath my feet, my head sank into the snow and it was completely dark. Gasping for breath from the cold, I pulled my head out of the snow and looked ahead and realized that the light was still moving away from me. Being in the dark, especially after the sounds coming from behind me, scared me so much that I quickly got up and picked up the beanie that had fallen from my head and kept running. I could feel my face burning from the cold.

I tried to run while cleaning the snow from my face with the sleeve of my coat. As I approached the house, I noticed Kize sitting on a chair in the garden, waiting for me. The steaming coffee in his hand caught my eye. I swallowed involuntarily. In fact, my throat was so dry that I would have drunk even that bitter coffee, but he was looking at me in such a way that it was as if he wouldn't give me coffee if I asked for it.

Breathlessly I kept walking and stood in front of him and put my hands on my knees and took a deep breath. "I'm here." I said, smoke coming out of my mouth every time I exhaled. I don't think I had ever been so tired in my life.

When the yellow light went to Kize's side and disappeared, the night was dark. I could only see where the light from the window illuminated the sky. There were no clouds in the sky, but the darkness was unnerving. Where exactly is this moon!

"Take off your clothes." Kize said, I lifted my head from the ground and looked into his eyes. Then I glanced at the forest surrounded by white snow. Did he want me to take off my clothes in this cold, which ones?

When I looked at his face again and was about to object, I saw him frown and I remembered what was written on the envelope. If I objected, he might punish me, I definitely didn't want to be punished, so I did as he said and took off my scarf and beanie. Then I took off my coat and put it on the snow with my bag, then I looked at Kize. The cold air was already seeping into my sweater.

I bit my lower lip involuntarily and waited for him to say something, thinking that he wouldn't ask me to take off my other clothes. But I had my doubts, of course. If he asked me to do that, even though I would be punished, I would object, of course, because he would see the race mark on my waist.

"Do you want your hair cut?" he asked after a short silence, and I touched my hair, which was disheveled in confusion. "No." I said, not understanding why he was asking me that.

"Then put your hair up." I shook my head quickly and gathered my hair tightly with the clip on my wrist. "Nodding is not an answer, use your mouth." Kize said, there was no expression on his face. I expected seriousness, but I certainly didn't expect him to be so serious, as if he was looking at a stranger and not at me. And yet I hesitated to get angry about him following me in the forest.

"Okay." I said, referring to the last thing he said. He glanced at me briefly. Then he nodded to the house. "Three laps, slow jog around your house." He said and took a sip of his coffee. I nodded in the affirmative, even though I felt like I was dying of exhaustion, but then I remembered that I had to answer and said, "Okay." I said and started running with slow steps.

Even though it was completely dark at the back of the house, I could have given my life to sit down and stretch my legs when I had completed three laps and managed not to fall. I could have just sat on the cold snow. All I wanted was to rest, it didn't matter where, absolutely not.

As I stood there panting and doubled over, Kize got up, put the coffee on the chair and came over to me. I looked into his eyes, pleadingly so to speak, but he didn't react at all. I couldn't say anything because I was afraid to speak, it was awful.

When the yellow light exploded again, he put his hand into the light and pulled out something that looked like a sweater, I couldn't make out what it was. But it had a harder fabric. And I definitely didn't want to wear it. But Kize pulled the sweater over my head and put it on my shoulder. At that moment my knees buckled from the weight. That outfit was so heavy that it felt like an elephant was sitting on my shoulders. I took a deep breath and groaned with exhaustion. I raised my head and looked at Kize with puzzled eyes.

"Strength starts with the body. When your body is weak, it doesn't matter how much magic is at your core, you will never be able to use it properly." He said as he stepped back. He threw his hands behind his back and looked into my eyes. My shoulders ached from the weight. "First we will strengthen your body." I was trying to stand up straight when he said that.

"Okay." I said in a weak voice, he frowned and gave me an angry look. "It's not 'okay', it's 'yes sir'." He said loudly, and I nodded, startled and "Yes sir!" I said. I noticed that he narrowed his eyes, but I didn't understand what I was doing wrong, so I just stared at him silently. I was shaking in my boots when he looked at me so hard. I felt like I was facing a man who didn't know me. "I couldn't hear you." He said. I could feel my bones shaking from fatigue, and I understood that he was annoyed that my voice sounded low.

"Yes, sir!" I said, raising my voice. He nodded and went back to his chair. As he took a sip of his coffee, I swallowed involuntarily, I wanted coffee too, but I didn't believe he would give it to me. "Five laps at a slow pace." When he said that, I took a deep breath. This man was definitely trying to kill me, but he had such an attitude that I was even afraid of fainting from exhaustion. "Yes, sir!" I said and started running around the house. No, it would be more accurate to say I crawled. Because a crawling baby was faster than me.

I stepped on my footprints left in the snow from my last run, because my boots were so full of snow that I was cold and couldn't tolerate any more snow. When I finished the run, I felt a little regret that I had agreed to train. When Kize came to me again, I bit my tongue to keep from crying and telling him I wanted to go home and sit down. He was still looking at me like I was a stranger and his brow was furrowed. When the yellow light shone again, both our faces lit up. I noticed the icy tears glistening in my eye sockets. His eyes lingered briefly on my tears, then he reached into the box and pulled out two dumbbells. He took the dumbbells in both hands and stood in front of me.

As he lifted the dumbbells by bending his arm, he bent his knees and got into a sitting position. Then he put the dumbbell down and stood up. "This is how you do it. This movement is called squat." When he said that, he handed me both dumbbells. My shoulders were bent because of the heavy dumbbell. "Yes, sir!" I said breathlessly and tried to do as he did, but it was so heavy that I couldn't even bend my knees properly.

Kize put his hand on my waist, shaking his head from side to side. "Head up, gaze forward." He said and put his hand on my chin and lifted my head. I was about to fall to the floor when he put one foot between my two feet and pushed my feet, but he was holding me. "Put your feet shoulder width apart. Keep your chest straight," he said and continued to shape me by putting pressure on my back. When he supported my back with his hand, I bent my knees, I was burning all over. "Throw your hips back." I was trying to do what he said, but it was very difficult with the weights on me. After bending and rising a few times following his instructions, he came back and sat back in his chair.

"Forty." My eyes widened when he said that. I would have died at five anyway, forty was useless. But I couldn't argue with him. If this was the training, who knows what the punishment would be. What would he say if I gave up, did I have the right to give up?

"Yes, sir!" I said, taking care to keep my voice loud. But it was definitely not successful. Kize was counting every time I did a squat. But while my count was thirty, he was still at six. Even though I squatted a few times as he showed me, my body was too tired to stand upright after a while. The last time I did it, I could only bend my knees slightly, I was shaking all over.

"Are you bent over now?" I shook my head from side to side. "No, sir." I said breathlessly. My voice sounded tearful and shaky.

"You don't have to do it in a row, I give you a minute after each squat, you can recover your body and do it again." He said, did he pity me? He might have, because even I felt sorry for myself after hearing my own voice. "Yes, sir." I just responded by saying, "Yes sir," and I just waited for a short time and tried to gather my strength. I mean for a minute, and certainly a minute was a very short time.

What did this guy think a minute was, a year? How exactly was I going to recover in a minute?

"Put the dumbbells down." When he said that, I dropped them in the snow with great joy. Yes, I managed to do forty squats, but most of them were half assed. I think it took about an hour because Kize didn't count the ones he didn't like as done.

"Seven rounds at a slow pace." When he said that, I wondered if he would let me go if I cried, but he looked so serious, like he was going to tell me to run even if I fainted. Or if I fainted, he could slap me awake and punish me. After running seven laps around the house at the speed of death, I stood in front of Kize, feeling dizzy. The day was slowly dawning, but I was in no condition to feel the cold of the morning. It was hard to breathe when I was burning hot all over.

"Breakfast." I didn't even have time to smile when he said. "Yes, sir!" I said, but my voice was absolutely silent. Smiling, he came to me and grabbed my waist. I closed my eyes and leaned against him as he leaned over my face. I would have given my life to sleep. "Well done, you did good." he said and supported me to walk and we entered the house together. I certainly didn't feel the heat from the blazing stove because I was sure I was warmer than the stove.

My mouth watered when I saw breakfast set on the table next to the stove. I don't remember ever being so happy to eat, but did I have enough energy to eat? There was a high chance that I would fall asleep while eating. With Kizen's help, I went to the bathroom and washed my hands, then sat down at the table. I wanted to take the weight off, but I didn't have the courage to do it. Kize was smiling again, but I was afraid that he was serious again.

"You have an hour, enjoy it." Kize said, sitting in the chair across from me. How long was this training going to continue? I certainly didn't have the brains to remember right now. But I remembered that it would end close to evening. Seriously, was I going to continue until evening!

"Yes, sir." I glanced at the table. My stomach was so empty it hurt. I felt as if I hadn't eaten for years. Kize smiled and poured tea as I took a slice of bread. I was feeling a little better, Kize might have cast a spell on me again.

"You can relax during breaks." He said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. How the hell was this guy drinking that s**t! I was about to cry to drink what I just called s**t, but whatever.

I nodded and ate the egg, but I had only taken a few bites when I felt nauseous. I covered my mouth with my hand when I was about to gag and took a deep breath. I was about to throw up when Kize reached out and held my nose. Everything in my stomach was moving upwards.

"Take a deep breath through your mouth." When he said that, I took my hand away from my mouth and took deep breaths. My nose felt warm, probably because Kize had cast a spell on it.

After a few deep breaths, my nausea passed and he removed his hand from my nose. "Eat slowly." He said, a wry smile on his face. But I didn't even have the energy to frown at him. Sweat was pouring down my back. Surely if I didn't shower after the training, my body would get moldy. Unless I die in training. "Kize, I think I'm dying," I said, my breathing still not back to normal. His smile widened.

"Don't worry, you won't die." When he said that, I was never relieved. Even though there was still a part of me that wanted to give up, I needed to take this training to get stronger and make my world a better place. Although I would definitely have given up if I wasn't afraid of Kize during the training.

"After your body is strong, we will look at your core, and then we will start magic training according to the foundation." I almost choked on the tea when he said that. I coughed a couple of times and looked at Kize's eyes in surprise. "Can I do magic?" I said excitedly. He nodded.

"Even though it was very small, I saw a source of magic when I looked at the core. But it will be a little difficult to uncover it now that you are older." When he said that, I had a big smile on my face. It was as if all my tiredness was gone. No, not at all. I was still tired, but I was excited to think that I could do magic.

We continued eating in silence for a short while. I was eating slowly so that I wouldn't feel nauseous again. I was ambitious with the idea that I could cast spells. I was more eager to train now. "How old are you?" He said and took a sip of his coffee and leaned back against the couch.

"I'm 18, are you?" By the way, we've talked a lot, but we've never asked each other how old we were. I think it might have been because it never came up. Or because we met and became close too fast. "I think I'm 27." He said and put his hand on the back of his neck and pretended to scratch it. My eyebrows rose. He was much older than me, but for some reason that was more appealing. "I need to talk to a younger man, you're getting old Mr. Kize," I said sarcastically. He frowned and looked me up and down. My eyes widened when he asked, "I think you're energized, shall we finish the break?" I picked up the teacup on the table and shook my head from side to side. "I'm still having breakfast sir, I haven't eaten much from looking at your handsome face." I said with a smile that I thought looked innocent.

He took a deep breath and looked at me again but didn't say anything. After breakfast was over, he cleared the table, and as much as I wanted to help, I couldn't find the energy to get up. Even sitting in the chair made me feel more tired, so I let myself drop to the floor and lay down next to the stove. The heavy clothes I was wearing were crushing my body.

"Enjoy, you have 25 minutes left." He said with a smile. I closed my eyes and sighed. There was still a voice inside me trying to convince me to give up. I guess it might not take me long to do what that voice said. And certainly twenty five minutes was shorter than usual.

When we went back to the garden, the sun was out. "Forty." Kize said without waiting. My shoulders slumped and I went and picked up the dumbbells from the snow.

This day was going to be a long one.