Sea Legs

Chapter 4-1

Chapter 4

Sarah

The bling from Brianne's wedding dress shimmered and reflected light on the walls of the elegant pink dressing room. My beautiful, statuesque sister inspected the fit of her gown in the full-length mirror. She resembled a runway model. At least that's what people said to her when they came up to her on the street.

Her dress was form-fitting with a sweetheart neckline—the mermaid gown with lace detail overlay flowed down into a gorgeous lace train.

I huddled in the corner with my arms and legs crossed. "You're glowing, Bri. Troy will flip when he sees you."

She wore a worried expression. "Do you think so? I love it, but I don't know if he will."

"Why would you think that?"

"He's been hypercritical lately. Something at work has got him down because it's unlike him. I keep asking if he really wants to marry me, and he says yes. He acts like I'm crazy for even asking."

Jeez.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?"

"Of course. I'm crazy about Troy, and I know he feels the same about me. Maybe it's wedding stress added to work stress."

Hmm, I wasn't entirely convinced, but as long as she was, that's all that mattered. Time to move this conversation to safer territory. "Remember when we were kids, and I used to dress like you?"

"And you annoyed the crap out of me because you were forever stealing my lip gloss and wearing my crop tops and cargos. I couldn't wear anything I wanted because it was always in the hamper. Yes, I remember."

Wow, she had total recall and apparently still felt some kinda way. She used to complain about her clothes going missing.

Looking back, I could understand how that would be annoying. "I wish I was here to help you choose your dress. Who knows your style better than me? Since I wore it regularly."

She giggled. "I've moved on from velour tracksuits and hoop earrings, but I get you."

"How was Mom? Did you eventually choose the dress she liked or did you go on your own?"

She shot me a 'you have no idea' expression, which sparked my curiosity.

"I got to choose the dress, so long as she chose the veil," she admitted.

I threw my head back and laughed.

Her reflection's mouth dropped. She spun around and gaped at me.

"What?" I asked as my laughter cleared.

"Nothing. Seeing you laugh is...different."

I rolled my eyes and got back to our previous subject. "Your law school skills must have come in handy," I said.

She wrinkled her nose. "She accused me of being just like Dad after I got my way."

I shook my head. Leave it to Mom to act like the injured party.

"What about you, huh?" she asked as she resumed examining the fit of the back of her dress in the angled mirrors. "When are you going to date again? I understand that you don't want to talk about it, but you have to move on."

My heart sputtered, causing my chest to heave.

Oh hell, not this again. This was a no-go subject with me, and my family knew it. My heart picked up speed.

"Start cooking again. Start doing the things you love and stop blaming yourself for what happened to Jason and Daphne. None of that was your fault."

"I'm not blaming myself." My protests were pointless because they knew I'd devoted years to living in my shell.

"Yes, you are." Her tone gentled. "We see it every time we ask what you've been up to, and all you talk about is TV." She stopped inspecting her back and pinned me with her gaze to give emphasis to her point.

I heaved to get a handle on my breathing.

This room was small. Too small. My breathing increased in speed, and I tried to fight it as my vision swam.

Bri turned around. "Sarah?" Her voice was filled with concern, but I ignored her.

Air. I needed out! I shot up and ran out of the room, past the rack of dresses and scattered shoppers, and up the stairs to street level. Finally, I threw the double glass door open that led out to the sidewalk.

The side of the building cooled the back of my legs and I hunched over. The pavement was blurry while I heaved air in my lungs.

A few minutes later, Bri showed up wearing the pink silk robe that the shop provided her. "I'm so sorry, Essie. I didn't mean to upset you." She wrapped her arms around me and held me close. Maybe it was because Bri was there for me or because I couldn't avoid the pain. Perhaps a bit of both. I let go and cried...hard. My body trembled. She held onto me, rested her head on top of mine, and cried. She said, "Sorry."

It took a while for me to calm down and regain my breath. The cool air revitalized my lungs. "I'm sorry too, for not being there for you in the first place. For messing up. For everything. But please…please don't bring up Jason and Daphne."

Her forehead wrinkled. "Sorry. I didn't know that you'd react this way, or else I wouldn't have said anything."

"Please stop telling me what I should and shouldn't do with my life. I'll live at my own pace."

The light dawned in her eyes. "Essie, you should talk to someone. A therapist or someone to get closure. It's not okay that normal life situations set you off."

People stared as they passed by. The cool weather finally made me feel cold. I took her hand."Let's go inside and finish your fitting."