Forever His & His Ghost

Chapter 30: It's a New Year

     "I think I am ending it there." I told Marie as I pulled my dress out of the closet. It was New Year's Eve and the night for Nick's big party.

      Marie laid the paper down and gazed up at me, her eyes were full of tears. "I think you should leave it at the water and throw this last chapter away."

     "What, why?" She threw me a curve ball, why should I end it there.

      "Because Skyla Dukot died that night, I don't think you should give the rest away, I am afraid for your safety if anyone came to know the whole truth."

      She was right, why hadn't I thought of that, the water was a good place to end. It would suck for the readers, but not all stories have a happy ending and at least that girl died without knowing the love of her life was already gone. She was at peace knowing that she had lived, she had loved, and she had been loved.

      I grabbed the last chapter and wadded it up throwing it in the garbage can. "Good call."

     "Okay now let's get you ready for this party, Nick said he had a surprise for you right?"

      I smiled thinking about how he begged me to come early because he had a surprise for me, "He did, now I am going to go jump in the shower."

      An hour later I was dressed to impress, my dirty golden locks hung loosely down my back, the gown was a beautiful black and silver with a slender bodice that opened and flowed freely to the ground. Nick said this was a black-tie event so he made sure I had the perfect dress. Marie handed me my fur shoulder throw as I stepped to the door.

      "You look amazing." Marie gushed as she snapped a few pics. She handed me my folder with draft in it. "Take it to Nick, he deserves to know." She winked as she opened the door. "Your carriage awaits and we will see you in a little while."

     I looked at her like she was crazy until I stepped out the door and there sat an antique white horse drawn carriage. Marko was sitting in the driver's seat up top with the reins to two beautiful Clydesdale's standing side by side ready to move. I stepped closer and the door opened to the carriage and out stepped Nick. He smiled, and my heart skipped a beat. He was handsome, his thick build that asked to bust out of his black suit. His hair was laying perfectly under his black Stetson, his face as smooth as the day he was born and a smile worth a million bucks.

      "You look breathtaking." He held his hand out taking mine and placing a soft kiss on my knuckles.

      "Thank you, you look quite handsome yourself." He gave me a wink and helped me into the carriage before climbing in beside me and shutting the door. The carriage began to move, and I felt like a Princess all over again. "Here," I handed him the folder. "It's ready to be read. I am taking it to New York tomorrow to my editor, but I want you to read it first."

       He kissed my cheek and leaned back looking down at the folder, "Well I guess I should tell you. Your editor is here tonight. I invited her, so looks like you won't be leaving me that easy."

     I was truly surprised, I couldn't believe he would do that for me, "Nick you shouldn't have, you have had so much on your plate with everything going on."

     He placed his finger to my lips silencing me, "I wanted to." He took his finger down, "Now I have a proposition for you. And if you don't want to, I am okay with it. You have all night to think about it. I promise no hard feelings if you say no." I nodded my head to tell him to continue, he was ringing his hand and for the first time ever, I swear he looked nervous. "I want you to be my partner. I don't want an intimate relationship, I want a partner, someone to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with. I want someone that can hold me when I am having a hell of a day and tell me it's going to be okay, and I want to be that for someone. My heart was given away along time ago and I never really got it back, and I would never be able to give you that. But I think we could be something special to each other without actually be an item if that makes sense, and if we ever do find that special someone we feel like we can give our hearts to, then follow our hearts."

      I exhaled slowly, and tapped the folder in his hand, "When you read this Nick, you will see I am in the same boat, my heart belonged to another, and I also never got mine back. I will think about it and let you know something by the end of the night." I kissed his cheek, and we rode in silence to his lodge.

     The ride took a couple of hours, so he took the time and actually read through my book, and boy was I nervous the whole trip, he never looked up, he never showed any emotion at all, he just stayed in a trance reading it. I watched out the window, I remembered the talks me and Jaxon use to have about how we would live in the country and have big family and live happily ever after. The memories brought a smile to my face, for the first time a genuine smile. Writing this book had somehow become liberating, and tonight I felt as if I was breathing for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

     The carriage came to a stop in front of the lodge, and I looked over to see Nick staring silently at me, tears were filling his eyes. I opened my mouth to speak and before I could bring any words out of my he pulled me to him and softly placed his lips to mine. To my surprise I didn't pull away, I softly kissed him back and he pulled back giving me a big goofy smile. It was a sweet kiss, it wasn't a desperate, I need you kiss, it was just sweet.

     "What was that for?" I finally asked smiling back at him and gently wiping my lipstick from his lips.

     "You have to be the strongest woman I have ever met." He tapped the folder. "Can I ask a question?" I nodded my head. "Is this where you want to end it?"

     I giggled, finally feeling the tears dry up, "Yea, you aren't the first one to ask that. But yes, it is. That girl died; she is in this world no more. But her story of love, heart break, obstacles, all of it, that's a story worth telling and no need to try and romanticize it after that."

     "I completely understand." He kissed my cheek before opening the door and stepping out, offering his hand to help me out. I stepped onto the ground, and he offered me his arm while I wrapped my arm into the crook of his elbow. "Shall we?"

     "We shall." I smiled and we entered the party together.

     "There is my beautiful new author," Ms. Stone greeted us as we stepped into Nick's office.

     "That it is, I am thinking you are going to love her book," Nick chimed in. He kissed me on the cheek and handed me the folder. "Now if you ladies will excuse me, feel free to use the office as long as needed, I have guests to woo." He laughed as he shut the doors behind him.

     "Talk about every woman's fantasy about a cowboy, he just walked out the door." Ms. Stone fanned herself as she took a seat on the couch and patted for me sit next to her.

     I took a seat and laid the folder on my lap patting it slowly, "Before I give this to you for you to read, I want you to understand something." She nodded her head. "Biographies are about a person's life, some only print the good, some only print the bad and almost all put the happy ending spin on it. Mine however is brutally honest. The ending in a way is the most heartbreaking thing that you will ever read and at the same time a happy ending too. So, I want you to keep that in mind as you read it." She nodded her head and I slowly handed it to her, "Now I am going to go get us some drinks and I will be right back."

    I left her in the office and made my way to the party room where it was in full swing, the music was booming, there was people dancing and standing around mingling, I almost felt taken back by the memories that flooded my mind of other events I had attended like that.

    I could almost feel the ghost of those strong golden arms around my waist, the way that rock hard chest felt against my back, and his sweet minty breath as he would lay his chin on my shoulder. Goosebumps crept up my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, as I felt the ghost of my past circling me. A part of me wanted to run back to the safety of my home, curl up in bed and fall asleep, but I knew he wouldn't want me to stop living, he would have wanted me to live life to its fullest. I am also sure he would want me be happy, and I think I had finally decided I could live happily. No, another would never warm my bed or have my heart, but I could live on with his memory, I could draw strength and comfort and smile everyday with the memory of the love we shared. And that was exactly what I was going to do.

     "Hey Lexi, what'll it be?" Billy snapped me from my thoughts as he tapped the bar.

     "Two whiskey on the rocks please." I smiled at him.

     "Coming right up, and might I say you look beautiful tonight."

     "Thanks Billy."

     "Hey you, I thought you would still be with the editor." Nick stated as he came up beside me and leaned across the bar.

    "I came to get us some drinks." Billy sat the drinks down on the bar. "Has everyone made it that you were hoping would?"

     "Everybody but that advertising CEO. He had an emergency and can't make it for a couple of weeks, but he promised he would make it up to me, so we will see. If not I have my eye on another one in Seattle I am going to reach out to, but I really want this company out of New York."

     "Then don't settle for anything less." I gave him a wink as I picked the drinks up, "I will see you in a bit." He just nodded as I returned to his office only to find the editor in tears wiping her nose. "Ms. Stone are you okay?"

     She waved her hand and shook her head before taking her drink and shooting it back like it was the very liquid she needed to survive. After she let it settle, she laid the paperwork down and took my hands in hers. "This has to be the best piece I have read. When can we send out to our test group and then when can we publish?"

    I blinked a couple times not really believing that she liked the way it ended, but she liked it, she really did. I let the goofy smile cross my face like I just won the lottery. "I will put the finishing touches on it tomorrow, you know fixing names, editing the little things, that kind of stuff and then I will email you the final draft. You can get it to the test readers as soon as you like after that. And as far as publishing, I was thinking August." She raised a brow questioning me, "August makes ten years since that journey began. I think it only suits to be published then."

    "Okay then how about we do this. You email that to me before the end of the week. It will take me a couple of weeks to get the test cover pics together. I will have the testing pamphlets printed and will release them to the first hundred women signed up for it on Valentine's Day. That will give us plenty of time to get good feedback before your premier publish date in August."

     "That sounds perfect." I took a drink, "Hey how is going with the new owners?" I knew they had just gone under new management; I didn't think it would affect me, but I still wanted to feel them out, they might not like my stuff after all, and I may lose my contract.

    She made a nervous chuckle, "Between you and me?" I nodded telling her yes. "He is a really first-class d**k, and his fiancé is even worse, but at least she has a soft spot for romance, so she is going to love this. He really doesn't care as long as we are making money." She laughed, I think more to herself, "Rumor has it, he bought the publishing company just to make her happy, so she would have something to do besides aggravate him."

     "That's awful," my heart broke for that girl, no one should ever have to be in that kind of relationship. "I mean why are they together if he feels that way?"

     She shrugged her shoulders, "Mr. Rittner is the devil reincarnate, I think he just puts up with her because he doesn't really want to deal with other women." She grabbed my hand, "Now let's go enjoy this party."

     The final countdown was on for the new year. Marie and Preston stood with their arms wrapped around each other, totally looking in love and both oblivious to it. Nick held me close with one arm and as they all counted the ten seconds down, I looked around, for the first time in a long time it all felt right. Writing that book was a blessing, I think, my life was changing, I had my family, my friends, and a career. My own home and small-town charm, what more could I ask for.

     Nick looked down as we screamed Happy New Year, and smiled like fools at each other.

     He softly kissed my lips and left me smiling up at him. "Nick?" He hummed in response. "It's a new year," I took a deep breath looking at Preston and Marie staring at me like they finally saw me, they didn't have pity, they were happy for me. I looked back at Nick, "Let's do this, let's be each other's person, at least until we either find the one that's meant to be our person."

     He kissed my cheek softly again and bent down to my ear, "Darling that's the best New Year's words ever spoken."

      My heart would forever be his, I would never love again, but there was no reason I couldn't let someone into my life, someone I could care about, someone who could catch me when I fell. Life was finally moving again, and I was going to enjoy the ride instead of watching it pass me by. And who knows, maybe one day there will be more to my story to tell, but for now everything is as it should be.