Forever His & His Ghost

Chapter 29: Birth of Lexi

Beep, Beep, Beep

      The sound rang through my ears bringing a déjà vu moment, I tried to open my eyes and nothing, and then I realized I couldn't swallow, there was a tube running down my throat and instantly my gag reflexes kicked in. I finally willed my hands enough to reach for my mouth and free me, but they were instantly caught and held with force down to my side.

     "If you can hear me, please hold still, we are getting the doctor now." A sweet voice whispered into my ear. I wanted to hold still, but I was panicking, I don't know where I am, or what is going on, I thrashed harder against her hold. "Please Miss, calm down."

     I heard a door open, and a deep voice filled the room, "I see our patient is awake." I could hear his squeaky shoes approaching me, but still my eyes refused to open. "Please hold still a moment and I will remove this." I stopped realizing his accent was thick, European maybe, definitely not from around here.

     "That's good Miss, hold still, just like that." The nurse cooed in my ear, and it was then I realized her accent was the same, thick and definitely must have been from somewhere in Europe.

     I felt every inch of the tube being pulled from what felt like my gut as it moved up my esophagus. My eyes filled with tears, and I felt like I was going to spew everything that was behind that tube. "Nurse, please get her family." I heard the door close, and he placed his hands gently around my eye lids gently lifting them and the lights flooded in, immediately blinding me. "Good, good, your eyes are responding to the light. Now can you speak?" I moved my head slowly side to side, my throat was on fire, and I was afraid to open my mouth. "It's okay." He patted my head and then took my arm placing his fingers to my wrist and the room was silent for a moment, all that could be heard was that stupid beeping. "Your vitals are good and strong. I am going to turn the lights down in the room so your eyes can adjust more easily when you are ready to open them, your family will be in shortly. I will be back in a bit to check on you." He squeezed my arm quickly but gently and I listened as his squeaky shoes left the room and the door gently shut behind him.

     I pepped talked myself, I had to open my eyes, I needed to know where I was, how I got here, what was going on. I slowly let my eyes flutter open until I could hold them fully open and make out the room. The walls were a deep grey with floral designs breaking it up around the middle. I couldn't see out the windows, the blinds were fully drawn, and they were so thick I could not even tell if it was day or night. I looked to my arms and there were IV's and monitors hooked to me from my finger to my elbow, there was a wire running out of the top of my gown and over to that stupid beeping machine next to the bed.

    The door opened and I whipped my head around to see my mom standing there, she was frozen in her spot, her eyes wide and her hands over her mouth. "Mom," my own voice didn't even sound like mine.

    She bolted to me and wrapped her arms around me, "Oh honey, you gave us a scare. I thought for sure I lost you."

   "What?" I rolled my eyes, looks like one word is all I could get out at that time. "Happened?"

    Mom sat back and wiped her tears, and then took my hands in hers. "Honey you were in a car accident, you were almost dead when they found you." She offered me a smile, it was sad, but she made it appear nonetheless, "Do you remember what happened?"

    I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, car accident. I could see his face; it was right there yet so far away. Then, it all hit me at once; prom, the car chase, the rolling down the mountainside, my body being thrown around like a towel in the dryer, the water filling my lungs, darkness. I opened my eyes, "Jaxon?" I couldn't even look at her, my mind was still trying to piece all of that night together. He was unresponsive, he never moved laying outside the car, when the car started rocking again and tumbled to its watery grave, with me still in it.

     "Honey, we need to talk." My eyes darted to my mom, I knew there was something bad, her eyes could never lie to me. "Why don't you get some rest, and we will talk later." She tried to get up and I held her hand tight causing her to stare at me silently.

     "No, I need to know everything, now." It took me a minute, but I got it all out. I had to know, there was no way I could rest not knowing.

     "You and Jaxon were in a car accident on the mountain pass. Jaxon was thrown from the car, when they found him." She stopped biting her lip and I could see the tears flowing from her eyes. "So, let's come back to that in a minute." She patted my hand. "Your friend Rosa has told me everything that has been going on. She told me how you were making a run for it that night. She had put a tracker on your car so she could make sure you got out safely, but when your car stalled and didn't move any longer, she sent the police and emergency to the last location the tracker flipped on the radar. They were already on the scene and were in the process of search and rescue when she got there, Jaxon had already been found and taken from the scene. It took them nearly three hours to get you free from the wreckage in the river, and it is only a miracle you are sitting here looking at me."

     "Mom, Jaxon?" My heart was beating like a mad man in my chest, and I could hear the monitor beside the bed beeping erratically.

     "Honey, we need to do this later." Mom was glancing at the monitor, obviously aware of the situation.

     I ferociously shook my head no, "No!" I shouted as loud as I could with a scratchy and little voice, "Now! Jaxon?"

     "He didn't make it." She lowered her eyes and I just stared at her blankly.

      Did she just tell me he didn't make it; no, she couldn't have said that?

     "I am so sorry honey; I know what he meant to you." The room began to spin, and I felt as if my head weighed a hundred pounds and my heart was beating through it, mom pulled me into her chest and the last words I heard before darkness overtook me, "I am so sorry honey."

Beep, beep, beep.

     I slowly rolled my eyes open to the sound of that stupid machine. I was laid back in my bed with the covers securely placed over me, the lights were still dim, and feeling that my left hand was heavier than usual I rolled my head over to see my mom sitting there holding it, but she was staring off into the unknown.

     "Mom." I croaked and tried to offer her a small smile as she turned to look at me. My whole body felt so stiff and sore, it hurt to even try and smile.

    "You are awake." She leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Let me get the doctor."

     She tried to stand, and I gently pulled her back to me, "Mom we need to talk first. First, I need to know, how long have I been out, where are we, and how bad were my injuries?"

    She took a seat and cupped my hand against her cheek, "First of all, we snuck you out, you are in Italy. Your Aunt Clare's fiancé had connections to get us here under the radar. Secondly, you woke up for the first time a week ago, so you have been out a week this time. But before that you were in a medically induced coma for three and a half months before they weaned you off the meds and let your body come to wake on its own two weeks later. So, you have been out a total of four months." I tried to wipe the tears rolling down her face, "When they found you, you were clinically dead, whatever that means. When they got your heart beating again and flew you out, you coded so many times they were almost ready to give up on you until Rosa demanded them to continue. You had a traumatic brain injury, they had to drill a hole on the right side to relieve pressure, and you are going to hate it when you see your head, you only have stubble." She looked at me and laughed because I am sure I had nothing but a look of horror as I rubbed my free hand gently over the stubble growing from my head. "You are still beautiful." She kissed my hand. "Anyway, you also had a collapsed lung, six broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, broken arm and broken femur bone. Your pelvic bone was fractured, and your hip was popped out of place. That doesn't include all the other cuts and bruises that were minor to those major ones. I thought we lost you." She closed her eyes letting the tears stream down her cheeks.

     I still couldn't wrap my mind around it all, I was dead, I was bald, I was broken, and I had been asleep four months. "Mom is he really gone?" My voice was so raspy and low I wasn't sure if she really heard me, but when she looked at me, I could see it in her eyes. "Can I see?" She looked at me confused. "A mirror?" She grabbed her purse and pulled out a compact mirror.

     I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I opened it, I had to do this. Skyla Dukot was dead, I needed to see who was staring back at me. I opened my eyes slowly and mom was right, all my hair was gone, it only looked like coffee grounds on my head now. I could vaguely see a scare just above my ear where I am assuming the drill had been placed. Across my forehead and down my left side of my face was a purple scar. My blue eyes were not bright and full of life anymore, just mere ghosts of what they once were, I smiled and even my smile was missing its purpose. I slowly closed the mirror and handed it back to mom.

     We were silent for the longest time before mom finally broke the silence, "Wait till you meet Clare's fiancé, he is really nice and treats her like a queen. They have even offered us to stay with them until you are well enough to go home."

     I shook my head no, I had to do something big, now. "Mom there is no home anymore. I can't go back, and I am assuming with you all sneaking me out of the country no one knows that I am breathing." She only nodded her head in agreement. "Then leave it that way, Skyla Dukot died that night. Go back home, take some ashes from a fire pit and fill an urn and let them mourn me. I don't know who may still be after me and I don't want them to come after my family. I need a fresh start."

     "Oh honey, don't say that. You are still young, the doctors say you are going to make a full recovery, there is no reason you can't go on, there is no reason you can't learn to live and even love again."

     "No mom!" It came out harsher and sterner than I had meant it to, but she closed her mouth quickly. "I am sorry I am just trying to process everything, but I need a fresh start. I will learn to live again, to love, that will never happen." She tried to speak again, and I held my hand up, "I will forever be his, the love of my life may have departed this world too early, but as long as my heart beats in my chest it will forever be his. I will never give it to another. He followed me blindly that night and because of me and my selfishness he lost his life. It is not fair for me to move on and forget that. So, I will live, I will make a life for myself, but I will not give my heart to another nor take another's heart." I took a deep breath, the guilt was suffocating me, but I needed to get it all out right then. "Now tell me about Clare's man."

     "How about I let him introduce himself." She smiled getting up from her chair and opening the door calling to someone outside. "I will be back shortly." She smiled and left the room leaving me staring blankly at the open door.

      After a minute Clare stepped through the door and was immediately bounding across the room and wrapping her arms around my neck. "I am so glad to see you awake. Oh my gosh sweet girl." She cried in my ear. We were interrupted by a deep clearing of a throat and we both looked up to see a beautiful Italian man carved from a god himself. The flawless olive colored skin, dark hair, dark dangerous eyes, high cheek bones, sharp jaw line, he was built like a statue and everything about him screamed power and danger. But unlike the feeling I had gotten the day I met Trey this man didn't scare me at all. "Honey, come here, let me introduce you." Clare motioned and he stepped closer just staring at me. "This is my fiancé Alessandro Anderlini." She bent down to my ear, "But I call him Alex." She giggled and he smiled from ear to ear.

     "Nice to meet you." His accent was rich, and his voice was deep, but when he reached his hand to take my mine, although I felt the power in his shake, his touch was soft.

     "You too." I smiled back trying to give him just as strong shake.

     "Clare, may I speak to her a moment alone please." I looked to Clare; would she really leave me alone with the complete stranger. Clare kissed my temple and whispered it would be okay before she left the room and shut the door leaving me alone with him. He pulled a chair up and took a seat next to the bed, I swear the Armani suit he was wearing screamed at the thought at having to sit in a hospital chair. "No need to be afraid." He offered me the same heart felt smile he had given Clare and I felt myself relax a bit. "Now I want to help you, I need you to be completely honest with me though. I need to know everything."

     Clare trusted him, I should too, after all he had probably went against some pretty powerful people getting me out of the country at best, I could tell he was helping hide me. I sat up in the bed and propped the pillows behind me, I took a deep breath and told him my whole story about Jaxon, his family, Trey, Rosa, right down to the accident. I watched his face while I was telling him, he would nod every once in a while, but his facial expressions remained neutral. When I was done, I wiped the tears away, but somehow, I already felt a little stronger, I was pulling power from the memories of every bit of love that Jaxon had given me over the last three years, and I knew that was the only way I was going to get through this.

     He was quite a moment before he decided to speak, "I can not tell you much about who I am or what I do, nor can I tell you everything I know about those families. I can tell you they are dirty, and you were already doomed the minute you stepped in. What I can tell you is what we are going to do." He gave me a pointed look, one that told me his words were going to be final and there was nothing I could do about it. "First, you are right, Skyla Dukot died. You need a name, so think about it. Secondly, you will live here with me and Clare and go to any college you want too here. All expenses paid. When and if you are ever ready to go back, I will promise you will be taken care of, wherever or whatever you want to do, and I promise to make sure that you are always protected. And finally, if there is anyone that you would like to bring into the fold with you, you need to tell me now and we will make it happen. Now do you have any questions for me?" I shook my head no. "Okay then, first of all I need to know what name you would like, and secondly I need to know who you would like to bring in with you, I will take care of all communication discreetly, and I promise no more harm will come to your family or friends."

     Here goes nothing, "I would like to take a namesake close to yours, seeing as how you are my guardian angel in a sense." His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas, "Lexi, Lexi Anders. It's close to yours but not so close that the dots can ever be connected." He smiled and nodded in agreement. "And I would like you to reach out to my friend Marie and my brother Preston. Leave my dad and sister out of this, to them I remain dead."

     He got up gently and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, "Very well Lexi. I will take care of everything. And remember when you get out of here you already have a room waiting for you at our home. Until we meet again." And with that he left.

      I was left in my own silence the rest of the evening with nothing but the sound of rolling carts in the hallway and that stupid beeping machine. My mind was trying to take it all in, Jaxon couldn't really be gone could he, there was no way. I knew I was just in denial. I grabbed moms' bag off the nightstand to look through it for some paper, and when I pulled the newspaper clipping out, I lost it.

     She had cut the front-page headline out with the picture, the car was barely visible in the rushing water below the camera's point of view, the mountainside littered with car parts. The headline read; Red River's High School Sweethearts killed in car crash on dangerous mountain pass. I crumpled the paper up and threw it in the corner, while slinging mom's purse in the floor

     . It just got real, it was all real, this wasn't a dream, my life was over, he was gone, I will never tell him I love him again, he will never tell me he loves me, I will never feel safe in his arms again, he will never be there to catch me when I fall again, it's only me, me facing this world alone.

      I curled up in the fetal position as I sobbed not caring who heard me, not caring how much stress it was putting on my body, I couldn't do this without him. Jaxon Nyte died and with him Skyla Dukot, and it was all my fault. I should have never gone to say goodbye, I should have heeded Rosa's warning and left without looking back. We would have found each other again, and we could have been safe, but I had to be selfish, I had to see him, and then I had to take him with me, and it was because of me, all of it was because of me.

     I will forever be his, I love you Jaxon, I cried to myself as I let darkness consume me and soon all was dark and quiet, and I was no more.