Lucian's Children

CHAPTER 8

I managed to change my flight to an earlier one as I could see no reason to remain in France. Again, the flight felt never ending.  This time I had a five hour lay-over at Heathrow airport. I was so tired and depressed that I decided not to leave the airport.  Instead, I took out my laptop and turned to cyber space for possible answers. After hours I had found nothing.  Not a single face matched that of the father of my children. I even Googled his photo, but there were no matches.  My Lucian had no internet footprint.

As we are now living in an age where the internet was used for almost everything that was almost impossible unless someone’s history had been completely wiped. Why would anyone suffer such a fate unless he was involved in something nasty? Was my Lucian a spy of some sorts? Or was he in protective custody of sorts?  No, he said he was on a mission and that could only mean spying, could it not? Somehow, I could not picture Lucian as a hired killer and laughed at myself for even contemplating such a thing.

Despondent at the lack of information I closed my laptop minutes before my flight was called.

My parents and the children were at the airport to meet me.  Once in the car the children started bombarding me with questions, mostly about their father. I could see the disappointment on their faces when I told them that I was not any closer to finding their dad.

On my first day back in the States I was all fired up about finding Lucian and decided to start my own mission as soon as my parents left.

Not due back at work for a few days, we spend time taking my parents out and entertaining them.  The children looked happy and relaxed, and I enjoyed spending time with my parents.  Since I had met Lucian, I had only seen them a couple of times and never for more than a day.  It was nice to pretend to be a child again and allow my mother to take over the household for a while.

As soon as my parents left reality set in.  The children changed almost immediately. Markus constantly nagged me about his father, wanting to know where he was and when he was coming back.  Mary was sullen and quiet entertaining herself with puzzles and books, but not talking to either myself or Markus.

I had no answers to give Markus, but he would not believe me. For the first time I was grateful when I could finally drop them off at the institute on Monday morning.

At work I closed my office door behind me and started calling my friends.  I invited them to a barbeque the following weekend and told each one of them that it was important they be there as I had something to discuss with them.  Each of them had, at some point or another, met Lucian.  Maybe I was too close to the situation to have noticed anything strange about him.  Maybe if I could question my friends, maybe they could come up with a snippet which could assist me in my search for Lucian.  As far as I knew Lucian had no friends in the United States, so my friends were all I had to go on.

The week dragged on. It was rather quiet at work as all we had to do was routine testing, something which was as mundane as peeling potatoes.

My friends arrived on Saturday laden with baskets of food and wine. The weather has started to change, and the children enjoyed being outdoors. My friends’ children were running and shouting, mine were sitting under a tree busy with whatever.  For a change I thought it best to leave them to their own devices and concentrate on enjoying myself and to complete this part of my ‘mission’ as subtly as possible.

The men, all with a beer in the hand, had taken over the barbeque and we women were in the kitchen preparing the salads and other food.

Emma unexpectedly gave me the opening I was hoping for.

“Hey Margot, have you heard from Lucian lately?”

“No, I have not, and I am worried…” I had prepared myself well for this moment.

“Ah that’s a shame.  I really thought we were having a wedding this year.  John and I were talking about you guys the other night.  We both agreed that Lucian is the perfect man for you.  I mean… you have such strict criteria, we never thought you would find someone who would fit the mould so perfectly.”

Although Emma’s words hurt, it gave me the perfect opportunity to play my role as concerned girlfriend…wife…mother…ah shucks you know what I mean.

“Yeah, that is exactly what I thought and believed he felt as well, particularly after I received a letter from him in which he told me how much he loved and missed us…”

“So where is he Margot, why isn’t he here then?”

“That is what I need to know or find out.  I am worried you guys, Lucian disappeared without a trace.  It is not like him to do so, something is wrong…”

Even my friends did not know that I have not seen Lucian for more than two years. Yes, I am a borne liar…

“What are you thinking Margot?” Jenny was a kind soul and had been a friend since school days.

“I do not know what to think Jen. I only now realize how little I know of Lucian’s past. I always accepted him for who he was and cared for him because he was so kind to us… the father of my children. Now I realize I should have asked more questions. It could be a family matter which is keeping him away from us and I know nothing about his family or whether he even has a family…Had he ever said anything to any of you about his family?”

Emma and Jenny glanced at one another then shook their heads in unison. Then Jenny brightened suddenly.

“Hey, wait, I cannot remember the exact conversation, but I am sure he mentioned a brother once…”

This was more information than I had hoped for, and I was at once excited and sad because my friend seemed to know more about Lucian than I did.

“What did he say about his brother?”

“Oh Margot, I cannot remember.  I am sure it was just a passing comment…”

“Maybe the guys will know more?” I was hoping they would.

“We can ask…” said Jenny hopefully while putting an arm around me.

After we had all eaten, the kids were in the garden and we were sitting down with drinks, I turned to my friends with my heart beating on overtime and asked the question I had been wanting to ask all day.

“Lucian had gone missing you guys and I realized how little I know about him.  Jen told me that he mentioned a brother once. Can any of you guys tell me something about this brother perhaps?”

John and Brian were both quiet for a while, thinking, then John spoke up.

“I am speaking under correction, because it was years ago, but we were talking about the army and my days in the army, and he mentioned that his brother was a soldier. I am trying, but I cannot remember a name or anything else. I already had a few beers in my belly, and it was not a serious conversation.  I remember telling the guys about funny incidents with other soldiers and this led to more joking…”

“Do not worry about it John, this is more than I had to go on an hour ago.  I mean, somewhere in the British or American army must be a soldier named Grey who could be Lucian’s brother.”

“Yes, I guess so.”

“Lucian said that he was an engineer working for an international company, had he ever spoken about his work? Did he ever discuss projects he was working on, anything?”

“No not really, just the usual…working late, having deadlines, but nothing specific.”

Something was bugging me though, somewhere in my subconscious I knew I knew something else, but what? Then it struck me.  Lucian had mentioned that he was one of a set of twins and that his sister had died at birth.  Lucian was a year older than me, or so he said, and his birthday was on the twenty sixth of November.  He was born in Great Britain… somewhere should be a record of a baby who had died on that day, a baby with the same surname as Lucian and through that record I should be able to find out more about his parents… Oh heck, if only I did not delete the profile he had sent me four, almost five years ago, then I would have still known which university he had attended…I somehow thought it was Cambridge, but I had to make sure before poking my nose further into this matter.

“You seem happier Margot. Have you decided what you were going to do about Lucian?”

“Oh yes Jen, I am going to Britain, and I am going to find Lucian.”

“But it could take ages Margot.  What about your job and the children?”

“My job will still be here when I get back.  We are in a bit of a slump now anyway; I have a feeling management will only be too grateful to grant me some unpaid leave.  As far as the children are concerned, my mother has a sister in Wycombe whom she has not seen in thirty years as neither of them could afford to visit and my parents have to date been too proud to accept money from me for a ticket, but if I tell my mom that I need her there to look after the children I am sure she’ll accept and maybe my father will to. It will be better for me to have the both of them there as I know my mother will want to come home after a week should my father stay behind.”

“Oh Margot, I do hope you find Lucian.  I just know the two of you are the perfect match.”  Jenny hugged me and although I am not the hugging kind, I felt better for it on that day.

Although I had been anxious to call my parents it was only after my guests had left and the children in bed before I could make the call. I did not tell the children about my plans as I did not want to get their hopes up again.

My mother picked up after the second ring and after the usual pleasantries I told her about my plans.  She said she would discuss it with my father first and get back to me in a day or so, but I could hear the excitement in her voice and knew the outcome of our conversation would be a positive one. My mother was still beautiful at sixty-five and my father still adored her, there was just no way he would say no to something which would make her really happy.

I looked in on the children later that night and although they had been real angels since my return from France, I was worried about them.  They had been unusually quiet lately. Emma and Jen’s children were a few years older than them, but they had always gotten along well with them. Yet lately Markus and Mary appeared to need no other company than their own. Mary had always been slightly in awe of her ‘big brother’ and had always followed him in everything, but since my return from France she appeared almost clingy where her brother was concerned. Her dolls and books appeared to have been forgotten as she was constantly busy with whatever Marcus was doing.  Marcus, on the other hand, appeared to take advantage of the situation and I often heard how he was ordering his sister about.  “Pass me that, fetch me this…” I made up my mind to have a talk with them before we left for Britain.

I also thought taking time off from work may be the best for all of us. Between looking for Lucian I could also spend more time with the two of them.  I was happy with my decision.

Before I could speak to my boss at work the next day my mother phoned and told me that my father agreed to my proposal.  I was ecstatic.

As expected, management appeared only too happy to grant me three months’ unpaid leave.  On top of that I had a whole month paid leave still due to me.

Planning such a long trip took longer than anticipated. I had not travelled with the children before other than to drive down to see my parents and packing for the twins took for such a long trip took every bit of brainpower I had.  Laugh all you want, but you do not know my children. Markus insisted on taking his chemistry set, his paints and his drawing pads, and his iPad and his earphones and his Lego blocks and… it took at least an hour before I could convince him to leave the Lego blocks behind, but also only after I promised to buy a new set in the UK. Mary was easier, all she wanted to take was the little doll Lucian had sent her. We were arriving late summer and would be there during autumn and maybe even the beginning of winter, thus packing for three seasons made my task even more difficult. Eventually I just gave up trying to fit it all in and resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to pay an arm and a leg for the extra weight of our luggage. I had to interview and find a reliable house sitter, pay utilities in advance and my head was spinning with the possibilities of what I could find once we were in Britain.  I also had to rent a cottage and a car for the duration of our stay, luckily my aunt was very helpful, and she soon found us a nice furnished cottage close to her home.

My parents also needed time to make arrangements for their home, had to have my father’s prescription for his blood pressure medication filled and so on.

It was six weeks since the day I had made the call to my parents before we finally boarded the British Airways flight to London.

Although I had spoken to Markus about his treatment of his sister, nothing much had changed other than the fact that he now added the word ‘please’ when asking her to do something.

We were halfway across the Atlantic Ocean when there was a disturbance on the plane. A middle-aged man, two rows in front of us, suddenly yelled out and grabbed his chest. Two of the stewardesses ran into each other before reaching him. The man was rather large and trying to get his seat into the reclining position was difficult, finally the two stewardesses helped him into the aisle and helped him to lay down. The poor man was very pale, sweating profusely and had a blue tinge around the mouth, very typical symptoms of a heart attack.

The children were staring past me at the scene playing itself off in front of us. There was nothing I could do to prevent my children from watching the horror.

“Mary, you have to do something.  That poor man has children and a wife at home. If he dies, they will be in trouble.”

I turned to my son in amazement.  How the heck did he know all of this about a stranger? Before I could turn my attention to Mary she scrambled over my legs and rushed into the aisle. I tried to grab at her, but she side stepped me and dropped down on her knees next to the suffering man.

In a soft voice Mary started chanting something, something I could not understand. Everyone stared at my little girl, even the stewardesses froze in silence.  Then Mary placed her little hand on the man’s chest and within seconds his breathing became more regular. The dark-haired stewardess moved again and asked Mary to move away from the man, but Mary appeared to be in some kind of trance as she paid no attention to the woman. I was holding my breath as I suddenly remembered where I had heard the chanting before. It sounded exactly like the chanting coming from Lucian when I gave birth to Marcus and Mary. I sat mesmerized, I could not move… Mary continued her chanting then as the man opened his eyes she removed her hand from his chest, touched his face and planted a kiss on his forehead.  Then she got up and returned to her seat without a backward glance.

As the man sat up, people on the plane started to clap.

“What did you just do Mary?”

“I don’t know Mom, I just did it.”

I turned to my parents sitting in the row behind us and noticed how pale the both were. I wanted to say something but one of the stewardesses touched my shoulder to get my attention.

“Mam, I do not know what your daughter just did, but whatever it was, it was nothing short of a miracle…”

In that moment, hearing those words, I suddenly feared for my daughter.

“Oh, it was nothing, he probably had a bad case of nerves and indigestion. The way she soothed him probably just calmed him down enough…”  I knew I was talking utter rubbish, but what else could I say?  That my daughter was some kind of miracle worker?  What good would that have done? I had a vivid imagination and in my mind’s eye I saw my daughter being hailed a saint, how an incident like this could disrupt her life. I was disturbed enough by what I had witnessed and could not deal with any further interruptions.  However, I needed an explanation and for that I needed to find their father, now more than ever.

The rest of the flight was horrible though. Passengers kept on coming over to us wanting to speak to Mary.  Mary had withdrawn into a little ball on her seat, shyly smiling at the people and whispering thank you. I was grateful when she finally fell asleep. I covered her with a blanket and closed my eyes pretending to be asleep myself.  I really did not want to discuss what happened with strangers.

I was even more relieved when I noticed my aunt and her husband already waiting for us as we walked into the arrival’s hall in terminal two.

My mother and aunt cried as they hugged each other, but my uncle and father rushed them along and soon my parents and the children were safely ensconced in their car while I went to collect my rental. The hour’s drive from Heathrow to Wycombe gave me the opportunity to think. I knew something was different with my children. They were only three years and a few months old yet they understood more than most adults I knew.

I knew they were intelligent, and how could they not be with parents like myself and Lucian, but being bright was one thing, being different was another.