MY PLAYBOY EX-HUSBAND'S REGRET

CHAPTER ONE LENA'S POINT OF VIEW Inside the Wagner estate, the temperature was too low. It was the silence and emptiness that reverberated more loudly than any sound, not only the winter night seeping in through the glass walls. I stood in front of the full-length mirror, fiddling with my midnight-blue gown's delicate straps. A beautiful piece that was selected for the occasion tonight. It was chosen specifically for him, not for me. For Matthias Wagner, whom I had been attempting to love for years. The man who, when he talked about her, had never before looked at me like this. There's a knock. There was no hesitation or delay. He was the one. "Leave now." His rich, distant voice cut through the atmosphere sharply. Not a compliment. No recognition. There was only a single order. I turned, and we briefly locked eyes. His presence was tremendous, and his black suit was immaculate. However, if there had ever been any warmth from him, it was long since gone. "Obviously." I placed my hand in his and attempted to smile, but his touch felt distant and impersonal. an act in public. This is a deliberate act of deceit. High society conversation, glasses clicking, and camera flashes filled the Wagner Foundation's big hall. Matthias performed his duties as the strong CEO and the icy but alluring mystery with ease. And me? I was merely his spouse, the lady who stood next to him, looking flawless and behaving loyally. This was something I had done a thousand times. However, something felt different tonight. Then I heard it. There was a whisper, "She's back." Elena Wagner. A name that had tormented every second of my marriage but had never been mentioned in front of me. He lost the woman. He had never stopped loving her. I turned my head slightly as I listened. "They claim that he has been communicating with her for months." My stomach turned over. The space became hazy. I searched Matthias's face, but he was already glancing away from me, his gaze fixed on something or someone far away. Something real—something primal— flickered over his face. I had never seen such a glance before. I followed his eyes. There she was. Elena Wagner. She was magnificent, untouched by the passage of time. Clad in white, she exuded purity as though she were impervious to sorrow and betrayal. Matthias let out a slow breath. Then I knew. He still had feelings for her. In that instant, everything inside of me fell apart. I don't belong here. This isn't the right moment. Hold it together. I had to straighten up and smile as a journalist with a camera in hand walked up. “A picture, Mr. and Mrs. Wagner?” Matthias encircled my waist with his arm. The once-burning touch seemed like ice now. There his fingers lay, rigid yet useless. The camera made a sound. One more untruth caught in the moment. His hold relaxed as soon as the flashes stopped. His gaze strayed again to Elena. His jaw tensed, and I saw it. His fingers twitched, seemingly resisting the urge to grab her. I was having trouble breathing. I took a step back and muttered an excuse. As I turned to go, he didn't even look at me. --- That night, I took solace in the quiet hallways of the estate, pouring myself a drink with shaking hands. Even though the whiskey burnt my throat, it couldn't stop the pain that was shooting up my chest. Then his footsteps reached my ears. I turned to see him standing in the doorway, rolling up his sleeves with a practiced ease and unbuttoning his cuffs. His face was impenetrable as he gazed at me. "You departed early." I gave a chilly laugh. "And you saw?" He scowled. "Don't start, Lena." "Don't begin?" With a sharper voice, I took a step forward. Matthias, don't start. What? Did I mention that my husband spent the entire night staring at another woman? He clenched his jaw. "You're going overboard." My heart was racing. "Am I? Matthias, tell me. How much time? He didn't respond. "You've been talking to her for how long?" Quiet. Then, at last— "Since she returned." My breath came out sharply. The room swayed. The only thing preventing me from shaking was the glass in my hand, which made my fingers clench. "This entire time," I muttered. "You were waiting for her while I was here; hoping, waiting?" He didn't dispute it. Even though tears were burning behind my eyelids, I fought the need to cry. I refrained from crying in front of him. This is not the right moment. His typical impatience came out as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I never wanted this marriage, Lena." It was there. The reality. Not sugarcoated. not melted. Simply slicing through what little optimism I still had, it was sharp and raw. I set down my glass to avoid breaking it and sucked down the lump in my throat. “I didn’t choose you.” I winced. The remarks shouldn't have caused pain. I had always known them. Hearing them, however, so bluntly and brutally, was like a tiny internal death. I gazed at him intently, committing the guy who had been everything to memory. This was a man who had never even attempted to express his love for me. "I'm grateful," I whispered. He furrowed his brows. "For what purpose?" "For saying it at last." He opened his mouth, but I had already moved on, leaving the final remnants of my wounded heart and the alcohol odor behind. I didn't let him stop me. It was the worst of all. --- The city lights stretched below me as I stood on the balcony outdoors, taunting my loneliness. Nothing felt as cold as the hollow area inside my chest, even though the frigid air was all around me. That night, I silently vowed. I would have something else if I couldn't have his affection. Strength. liberty. myself. And for the first time in years, I gave myself permission to consider the possibility that I may turn into the woman I was destined to be. What if annihilation were to befall the man who destroyed me first? I watched as my breath vanished into the night air as I gently exhaled. Matthias Wagner would come to regret this one day. How much would he lose before he realized what he had thrown away? That was the only question.