I AM NOWHERE

20 years ago... Priceless laughter can be heard in the four corners of the room—a man cracking a joke and a little girl giggling at each jest. A man in his 30's who has an average built body, a warm smile that shouts assurance, and a very light personality that pulls you through to depend on him. He was sitting on the floor facing the little girl with her legs crossed together. He was wearing a shirt without sleeves and cotton shorts four inches above the knee. As the man continues to throw jokes and stories, the little girl is listening to him interestedly while holding her teddy bear near her chest, as if missing a single word from the man will cost her life.  "Hahahaha, what did the dog say when the cat bit it?". Said the girl with an impatient gaze locked on the man.  "Nothing. Because the dog decided to forgive the cat". Said the man. "But, the cat hurt the dog. The cat must be punished." Said the little girl in confusion. "Time will come when you will understand why the dog forgives the cat, little girl. If the dog chooses to punish the cat, it will be a long, difficult situation. Because the dog punishes the cat for biting him, the cat will also take revenge for it. And the problem will never end. It will hurt not only the cat but also the dog. The dog did not punish the cat for freeing himself from the heavy burden of the continuous unending situation. If you were a dog, would you forgive the cat or not?" The man asked.  "Hmmmmm." The little girl uttered as she looked up while tapping her tiny index finger on her chin while the left hand held the teddy bear.  The man is carefully looking with amusement and adoration at the little girl's reaction. How adorable and innocent she is; how every child is so simple-minded. How he wishes time would not come so fast for this child to enjoy her childhood.  "Hays, I don't know the answer to your question." The man came back to reality when the little girl talked.  "It's okay, no need to rush things. You will understand it better when you grow older and this tall." The man said as he gave an example by gesturing his hands in the air.  "For now, you need to sleep because you still have to be early for school tomorrow." The man helped the little girl lie in bed and put the blanket under her chin to be covered entirely, not being bothered by the cold weather.  "Goodnight." The girl smiled and closed her eyes to sleep. The man smiled and stared at the little girl's face while caressing her hair. He makes sure that the girl is already asleep before going out of the room. After confirming that the girl is already sleeping, he stands up carefully to avoid waking up the girl, because it is a light sleeper.  The man slowly walks towards the brown wood door decorated with ABCs and number charts and shuts the door soundlessly. At the same time, he closes the door, a silhouette emerges visibly in the thin light coming from the kitchen. He patiently waits for the shape to be evident in his sight before speaking. "You're home late." The man said as he faced the person in front of him. "Why? I have a lot of time. And besides, I was hanging out with Mrs. Lee of L.C Company." The person said.  "You still have responsibilities here. You are not free anymore. You are not the same happy-go-lucky person six years ago." The man said as he gently massaged his temple out of frustration. "Why? Did I choose this?! Did I want this?!! Ohh!!? You drag me into this.... into this mess!! And now you want me to be responsible? Why? Is it my fault that we are in this f*****g situation?!! Tell me?? Is it? From the very start, you know that I didn't want this!!!! I don't even know that kid!! Bullsh*t!." The person shouted while throwing everything at every corner in the kitchen.  After throwing the plates, glasses, and things at every corner of the kitchen, the person grabs a knife and carelessly brings it near the neck.  "You don't listen to everything I say. I was lonely. That's why I cheated on you. HAHAHAHAHAHA." The person said while laughing like a crazy man. "Put down that knife, and let's talk calmly. Ohhh? PUT DOWN THAT KNIFE RIGHT NOW!!!." The man said as he tried to reach out for the knife.  "Don't you dare come near me!!!!" Said the person. "Alright, I won't. Just....just put the knife right now, please." The man said as he tried to be calm. "HAHAHAHAHA. Do you know why I cheated on you? Then let me tell you. You cheated on me first, many times. Many f**k*ing times!!!!." The person stated. "For Pete's sake, I did not cheat on you. Everyone knows that except you. Because you choose to believe your mind; you choose to believe the lies of your sister and so-called friends!!" The man shouted as a sign of losing his calmness.  "No No No No No! I am always right. My sister would not lie to me. That's you, always giving me the blame. You don't know my pain. Because of you, my life was ruined!!!." The person shouted as she attempted to cut the knife to her neck. Before the person cuts the knife to her neck, the man immediately grabs the knife, leading to the battle of forces. The man stopped the person from hurting herself by attempting to get the knife out of the person's hands. However, the person is not letting the knife go either.  "GIVE ME THE KNIFE!!" The man shouted. "NOOOOO!! LET GOOOOOO!!" The person screamed at the top of her lungs, not letting the knife go either. As they are still fighting over the knife, the man does not see the rolling pin lying on the floor, leading him to fall on his back with the person on top of him. "Damn it!!" The man uttered as he looked at the person's eyes on top of him. Meanwhile... The little girl heard all the noise outside her room, making her walk towards the door with her teddy in her left hand and open the door a little bit, enough to see the outside from one eye. The exterior only has a fainted light coming from the kitchen. There she sees two shadows of the person who are moving inconsistently. As the two shadows moved, breaking sounds also followed. Shouting, cracking noises, and grunts are all the little girl can hear. As the silhouettes fall on the floor, the girls' eyes widen in shock, and she whispers the only word she can say... "Pa-pa"