This Is Love

23

He stepped forward so that I could see him clearer. “So what you’re saying is that I should be taking care of you?” He put his hand on the center of my chest and pushed me backward until my back hit the cold tiled wall.

My whole body shivered.

“Worshipping your body?”

I swallowed hard.

“You tried to break my heart, Penny.”

“You said you forgave me.” Right this second, I didn’t care if he had or not. He was looking at me in that way. The way that had always made my knees weak. The way that gave a girl like me the courage to kiss him during his office hours all those years ago. I never was able to resist him when he looked at me like that.

His hand slid between my breasts, down my stomach, and stopped right where my body needed him the most. “You’ve forgotten that you spread your legs for me in my office after just one kiss? Don’t forget what we once were, Penny. You f*****g love being punished. I’m just giving you what you want. What is it that you said?” He ran his thumb against my c**t.

“James,” I moaned.

He raised his left eyebrow. “No, that wasn’t it. I believe it was something about me not being a white knight? I’m a dark one?” The tip of his index finger swirled around my wetness.

I reached out and gripped his shoulders.

“You chose me. You chose the darkness. So don’t pretend for a second that you don’t love when I s***k you. That you don’t love when I f**k you so hard you can’t walk.” He slipped a finger inside of me. “That you don’t love when you call me Professor Hunter like it’s the dirtiest thing you’ve ever said.”

I moaned as he removed his fingers from my skin.

“This is going to hurt, Penny. But the best part? You’re going to love it.” He lifted my legs around his waist and then thrust inside of me hard.

The sensation of him filling me made me gasp. f**k. God, I wasn’t ready for him. It felt like he was ripping me open. But when he pulled back and thrust in again, I felt a wave of pleasure.

I dug my fingers into the muscles of his back until he pulled them away and pushed the backs of my hands against the cold wall.

No one could love me the way that he could. Emotionally. Physically. It was like his c**k was made just for me.

He slammed into me again, harder than before.

Jesus. He was right. I loved that it hurt. I loved the line between pleasure and pain. I f*****g loved the way he made me feel. I wasn’t the light to his darkness at all. I was as dark as him. I clenched my muscles around his c**k, making him groan. No, I wasn’t the same girl that fell in love with her professor. I was older, wiser, and had done tons of kegel exercises while I was pregnant. Our s*x was great back then. But now? It was f*****g amazing. I finally felt like I was as good at pleasing him as he was at pleasing me.

His kisses trailing the side of my neck were so soft compared to the way he was slamming into me. Like he wanted me to feel the love despite the fact that we were f*****g. And just as I thought it, he sucked on the side of my neck hard, erasing any feeling of soft intimacy. It felt like a lightning bolt went through me.

And I remembered. I remembered everything. The pain mixed with the pleasure. The smell of his cologne combined with the steam and filled my nose, swirling memories to the surface. Each thrust felt like one from the past. All the times he had held me against a wall just like this. The times he devoured me like I was all he needed to survive. All the times he whispered dirty things in my ear to make me come.

But it was my turn today. “I love you, Professor Hunter,” I whispered into his ear.

I came at the same time as him, the warmth of him inside of me tipping me over the edge. I felt drunk as he continued to hold me against the wall. His hot breath on the side of my neck was the most comforting sensation in the world. I was intoxicated by him.

He lightly kissed the side of my neck once more before placing his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed and I took the time to breathe him in. His exhales were the only air I needed. With him still inside of me and him holding me up in his arms I felt so at peace. And calm. And whole. Except for a lingering pain on the side of my neck.

“You gave me a hickey, didn’t you?” I tried not to smile too hard.

He slowly opened his eyes. “Recently you’ve been forgetting that you're mine. Now you’ll remember.”

I was never going to forget again.

Monday - James

For just a few minutes it felt like we were back in time, making love in my apartment in Newark. I wasn’t sure why, but I tried to dismiss the thought. I loved how we met. I loved how we started. But I knew better than anyone now that the past belonged in the past. Remembering it was great, but reliving it was a nightmare. I was happy where we were. Here. Today.

We weren’t the same people anymore. Penny and I had been through so much together. Her forgetting about the last several years had nearly killed me.

Seeing her crying on the bathroom floor made me forget about the past few weeks. I had made her feel like she had broken us. And that wasn’t true at all. If anything, I loved her more than ever now. Losing her for a few weeks was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Now I had her back. I didn’t need her apologies. I just needed her.