One Night Before Goodbye

(Zara’s POV) The red numbers on the alarm clock glowed 3:17 a.m. Roman laid on his side with his back to me. I watched as his broad shoulders rose and fell in rhythm with his slow and steady breathing. Even though his body was only inches away, it felt like he was in another world that is different from mine. I shifted closer to him and slid my palm over his back. “Roman,” I whispered in the darkness. He stirred, rolling onto his back with his eyes half-closed. His lips curved into a smile and his hand found my waist. He pulled me across the sheets and his mouth claimed mine. His hands left my waist to explore the rest of my body. His fingers trailed down my side, setting fire to every nerve. My legs tangled with his own and I could feel his hard p***s pressed into me. “Zara,” he murmured in a deep voice. He flipped me onto my back and the world in front of me dissolved into skin, breath and heat. He moved with confidence. His hands explored my body, mapping the places he was familiar with: the small scar on my ribs, the mole near my ass. “Do you want this?” his voice was low, rough. “Yes,” I said. Just yes. The mattress dipped, and he pressed himself around me, skin to skin, heat to heat. His mouth explored the hollow of my neck, leaving marks as he moved down. I raised my hips to match the speed that he set. When his lips found the place behind my ear, his name left my mouth in a whisper. “Not yet,” he said, pinning me with a look that mixed possession and worship. He moved slowly like he was drawing a tattoo. His lips traced the curve of my shoulder, dipping to the small space between my breasts. “You never look the same twice,” he said. I could feel the room bending. My hands flew to his ass and I pressed him closer to me. “Don’t stop,” I begged. His mouth moved to my breast like an answer, slowly and warm with accuracy. He bent downward, his mouth found the inside of my v****a and his fingers found the place that made my breath break. I hooked my leg over him, grounding us together and the mattress creaked under our weight. Breath, skin and small curses blurred into a single sound. After, we lay tangled and I slept off. The sunlight spilling through the curtains made me blink my eyes as I opened them. I touched the other side of the bed, it was cold. Roman wasn’t there. The other side of the bed was untouched. A dream. It was a dream, but the lovemaking lingers in my body even after I have woken up. The silk strap of my nightgown slid down my shoulders as I sat up slowly. My chest ached from the memories that the dream I had brought. I remained in that position for a while, listening to nothing. I looked around me. “A home that is this expensive is not supposed to feel like a tomb,” I thought sadly. I smelled coffee as I entered the kitchen barefooted. Roman sat at the island. His shirt sleeves were unbuttoned and uncuffed at the wrist. His eyes were glued to his phone. My eyes wandered somehow to his wedding finger, 'it was there.' “Good morning,” I said softly. He looked up briefly. “Morning.” His tone was too polite for me, the type that was meant for neighbors borrowing sugar. I remembered the dream, his mouth on mine, and I felt something tighten in my ribs. I poured myself coffee, lingering by the counter. “Busy day?” “Mm.” That was all I got, he didn’t even look up as his thumb continued moving over the screen. I tried again. “Do you have any dinner plans tonight?” He took a sip of his coffee, but his eyes still never left his phone. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll let you know.” No more questions from me, and he had none for me. “I’ll let you know.” His words reechoed in my mind. Roman. I remembered how he used to plan our evenings. Restaurant discovery or simply enjoying together a new bottle of wine that he discovered, in our beautiful and expensive home. Now, I needed his confirmation just to know if he would show up for dinner in his own house. The silence between us swelled until the clink of his spoon, as he drank his coffee half-cup and dropped the cup into the sink. “Don’t wait,” he said as he walked toward the bedroom to grab his briefcase. His cologne lingered after he left the kitchen, reminding me of how far away he was from me. My fingers tightened around the handle of my cup as I stood at the counter, wishing he would look at me, the way that he had been looking at his phone. My phone vibrated as I rinsed my cup. Tessa. Hey babe. Big day tomorrow *wink. I smiled faintly as I read her message. “Good morning, Tess,” I replied. Her call came in immediately. “So… has Mr. Vale said anything about the anniversary?” she teased me brightly. “Not really,” I answered, glancing toward the bedroom where he was putting on his tie. “Well, maybe it’s a surprise. You know men and the way they always want to impress.” She giggled. “Has he left the house yet?” “No, he’s still getting ready.” “Alright” There was a pause before she spoke again, like she wanted to ask more but decided against it. Her laughter came back. “You deserve something big, Zara. He would be stupid not to do it.” I forced a chuckle, agreeing, even though, deep down, I wasn’t sure Roman cared enough to be stupid or smart about me anymore. We hung up. Roman came out of the bedroom with his suit jacket over his arm. His phone blinked and for the first time in weeks, I saw him smile. Not the polite smile he gives me occasionally. This smile was the real thing. He typed something quickly, with the smile still on his lips. I felt a knot in my stomach. I remembered the last time he had smiled like that at me. We were in Rome, our third year together, drunk on gelato and wine, laughing so hard. That same night, he pulled me into an alley and kissed me breathless. That smile used to belong to me and I don’t even know who was on the other end of that text.