Chosen

The stage of transition is never easy for most people and that includes me. Honestly, that is tougher when you have no guidance. High school was my foundation, but primary school was my primer. Primary school was when I was experiencing things, making me now realize how God had played a role in my life since childhood. I used to fight with others at school. I was always angry, others even started calling me names. I became a learner who was known to fight for girls and, even now, am still known for that. I want it to change, but deep down I do not... I mean it is good when the boys at school know you are not supposed to be played with. Almost all the boys at school become scared of me. Some of them, even today, looking at me in the eyes is impossible. What can I say, I earned this kind of respect because of my anger and no doubt this is genetically related to my father. I became a bit different when I started grade 7. I think this is where I even started to encounter God's presence in my life. Even though in my family, when I was still young, we used to go to Sunday school every Sunday, I would just go because we were told so, and I also had no choice but to go. This was a point in my life where I started to see that not everyone wants you to succeed and be happy in life. I ended my friendship with a very close friend I thought we were sisters. A sister that I will forever be grateful to have in my life. Well, with every broken relationship, it always teaches you a lesson and leaves a mark to help you grow. It was not only the end of the year for us, but the end of most friendships in my life and a new beginning for growth. School performance was on point at that time with no worries of even missing a single test. Well, come the end of the year for my final year in primary school, there was a farewell celebration where we all promised our teachers of the things we had learned,what we will do when we go to high school and the things we must be aware of when we go to high school. It was the day I realized I was growing up for real. TRANSITION Now high school, where my foundation is now beginning to build. The first year was more like primary school. Not many things were required, but lots of work was being introduced every week, it became a habit to even go to school come back and study. I was like okay. Time goes went without hearing anything from God for a while. I almost thought it was a false alarm that I heard years ago. Then a pandemic struck all over the world. If I had matured enough at that time, I would have thought it was the end of the times because lots of things that I can say are biblical revelations were happening. Well, now I think it was just a wake-up call to every nation to wake up and get out of their comfort zone, get ourselves in order and to repent. I was not a top achiever in primary school, but when I came to high school I started performing well and even becoming one of the top learners at school. I always do not get an opportunity to have an award whenever I perform well in my studies since primary. It is either the school cannot afford the awards or the awards are not enough for top achievers, and because at that time I was doing my 10th grade and there was a pandemic, no awards were given. Such luck is something else, but I always tell myself God has greater plans for me ahead, so I moved on from that. Come grade 11, this year I dropped a little compared to grade 10. The work load started to be more as I was even one of the top learners in school. It was an amazing experience that I even started to pay attention to my studies, improvements and struggles and, most importantly, I even started taking prayer seriously. Now this is where I started my special relationship with God and listened to His voice and that it was not a false alarm. Even though I was starting to drop in my studies, I was not worried about it as I knew God was working on me and I did not stop working hard on my studies though. Come grade 12...yoooh I was not expecting to grow this far honestly. I mean, even many did not reach this and even though there were still alive, some did not make it this far. I am so amazed and grateful every day for such an opportunity. This year of high school was the year that I started to see and know that God is really real. I mean, even though I was praying back then, this year made me feel different about God and its absolutely amazing. I started seeing the power of prayer from seeing its importance, seeing its power. Flashbacks... me and my classmates were so happy to meet each other after the long break, hugs and laughter were everywhere. Ohhh it was so amazing to see that. We were so happy to be in the final year of high school but not knowing what was planned for us for that year by our teacher. After all the greetings and staff, we were told it was time to check the top 30 list of top achievers who will be trained for the most unforgettable results of the year again in the history of our school. It was pasted outside the class and I can remember my heart beating so fast while going towards that list. I checked...and checking...going down that list, and then I finally found my name on the list. Yooh the excitement in me..., the happiness was there but not from the outside, because I know, myself if I am too happy I will end up being down in less than an hour, so the best way was to keep it to myself. Okayy the year was going well. I worked hard during the first term and in the second term again that thing of getting awards,, struck again. Guess what the cause was...can you believe it was the finances of the school?? I was like, okay, we move. I was then again one of the top 15 learners from the first term in my school and in the top 30 across the circuit. I was so happy, the school even took us out to a very nice resort to just enjoy ourselves. It was the most highlighted moment of the year because, after that, it was war. I was starting to pray and even fasting and reading my bible more. Well it is said,''the more you get close, the more the devil attacks''. I performed so well and, trust me, my second term was the worst of them all. This is where I saw God fighting for me. I was under stress and really working under pressure every day to just bring back that good performer in me, but I couldn't. I started being obsessed with sinful behavior that I am too ashamed to even believe it was me. I was suffering from lust, and it was the hardest thing that was driving me crazy for almost the whole year. I found myself seeing everyone around me as my partner and even towards my same gender. It was hard leaving those sinful times and trust me, God was always there fighting with me and He won. Massages from people and even one of my brothers today and because I am too attached to YouTube, I was also being warned there, and I finally listened, and I WAS SAVED. It is not always something that a person is willing to share. It takes courage to share and strength to receive comments from people about it. The results for the second term came out, and I dropped like crazy... I almost thought it was someone's results. I was shocked at how dropped I was, but not surprised it was the price I was bound to get. Well God has his amazing ways of making sure His children are under his protection and guidance. I was called to be one of the top 30 learners in the circuit and this time we were going to camp to prepare ourselves for the third term with other top learners across the whole district. That was the year I met my really special brother in Christ. We talked till then like we knew each other, like as if we were told to act or something, but it was all God's work. He became more than a friend from that moment to a brother in my life. As time went on, we were again called to another camp of top learners in the district to prepare for our finals after my improvements during the third term. I met my brother there again and this time it was nice as we were enjoying each other's company and I found myself being motivated and encouraged more to pray and fast in my life. We would be pushing each other, helping with school work and university applications. What an amazing brother God has brought into my life. It was the final term, and I was again going through more stress and pressure than before...now not only my parents but also my teachers were relying on our performance as the top learners in school. As a class, we would hold a morning prayer every day, and it was a special part of every day. We worked hard, we prayed more and dedicated ourselves to work hard. My high school was all about war and a tough one, but I fought. We fought and we (God, classmates) won BY GOD'S GRACE. Follow for more on my journey.