I WANT HIM

FRANK Being a gay here in Nigeria is very tough, nobody must know, cause people here believe is demonic, it's dirty. you have to always hide here, our government refused to legalized it. I noticed have been different since when I was still a child, hanging out with girls, always wishing to be born has one, as the only male of my family, and I have two elders sister, I always used there makeup or try to wear their stuff. my parent thought then that it's was normal, that I might be lonely cause am always around my sisters, my mom started inviting her friend son's to hangout with me, that is how I met sammy. we are both from a wealth home, our parents are among the top 5 of riches Family in Nigeria, the Smith's and the Macaulay's family. I started having strange feelings for sammy when I got to the age of 12 years, I don't know what it's was until I was 17 years old, and I have to come out to my parents that am gay, am attracted to male. my mom started crying, my dad felt disappointed because he had a lot of expectations from me been his successor, my mom thought her enemy is at work, she started fasting, praying, going to mountains. doing deliverance for me in different churches for them to cast out the demon in me. when I got to 19 years, she started introducing me to her others friend's daughters just for me to change to straight, until I told them during dinner's gathering that am gay, and I can't do anything about it. and I told Mom to stop hooking me up with her friend's daughters. she felt down, thinking all her effort on me has been wasted. my dad called me to his study and told me, he wasn't cool with me been gay, and it's seem he has no choice but to support me, been his only son and he really loved me, but only on one condition will he totally agree with me if I didn't spoil his name, he didn't want any scandal from me, and I promised him I will be careful, he hugged me and I left his office. My mom on the other hand doesn't have any choice but to support me too, my sisters has been super great, they keep supporting and encouraging me. Now I have the full supports of my family. for me, coming out of closet isn't that bad, I thank God for my parent, they didn't cast me out, if they did I could have been so devastated. Sammy and I have been the life of the party, going to different shows, very popular in school even on social media, we are always hanging out together, and my feelings for him never stop increasing, I just have to hide it from him, I don't no how he will react if I told him about me been gay. sammy has always having my backs, but am not sure he will be cool about me, or me having feelings for him. sammy has been dating mitchell since we are in senior secondary school, the three of us are always together in school. and Sammy has been in love with her, he always feel so proud to be her man, though all that was killing me inside, I just have to accept the fact that we can't never be together. when we got to university, we are the most popular students because our father are rich, and everybody want to associate with us, we are living off campus, our daddies bought us a penthouse besides eachother, so we are always together, and sammy likes sleeping at my place expect, when his girlfriend is around. I decided to move on, but still very much in love with him, I met John online, we started chatting, I got to know he's also a gay and he is ready to mingle. we started dating secretly, but am still not satisfied about the whole thing, I couldn't love him, all my love is for sammy. John knows my heart belong to someone else, he always try to make me to love him, but I can't just love him back, when we are making out, I always think its sammy, I actually don't know what tomorrow will be, and I hope i won't loose John at the cause of my behavior.