Tears of Hope

“It hurts so much. It hurts that I don't want to live anymore. It’s killing me every day and every night. It’s killing me so hard. I wake up in the morning with a battered soul and I sleep at night with needles in my heart.” Once again, Lanie entered her room with a saddened heart. It's been three months already since that nightmare happened. She never expected that incident would ever happen in her life. She thought it only happens in movies or dramas but she was wrong. It also happens in real life. What makes it worse was that it happened in hers. No one expected it to happen. It was really shocking and it hurt Lanie so much. Every day, she felt like a falling hot air balloon. Everyone has thought that a new door with a happy beginning will be opened. However, it did not. With a long face, Lanie closed the door and placed her handbag in the closet. In her room, she was alone again. All of the pains that she was hiding from the others outside are starting to burst out again. It made her fall on her bed’s foot. She started to hit her painful chest with silent tears. She didn’t know if she could still bear it anymore. “Why? Why does it have to happen to me? Of all the people in this world, why does it have to be me?”, Lanie said while hitting her chest. Her sobs filled her quiet room. She laid her head on the side of her bed and hugged herself. Her tears were still flowing. “Why am I still feeling this? Why do I have to experience this?” Lanie raised her head and saw a book on her bedside table. It was not there when she woke up and went to work. It could be her mom who possibly put it there while she was out. She was still sobbing. When she saw it, she slowly reached it while her tears were flowing. It was a Bible. It was hers which her mom gave to her. It was given to her long ago but she hasn't opened it for a long time because she got busy in her career and love life. Upon seeing that it was a Bible, she hugged it tightly. “Oh, God. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for being like this. I’m sorry that I became like this.” She cried more and looked up. “God, I need you. Please. Please Father.” She looked at the Bible in her arms and opened it. Her tears were still rushing out. When she opened it, the first verse that her eyes saw was the Romans 8:18. "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us." - Romans 8:18 When she read this verse, she felt hope slowly rising in her heart and the coldness inside her was slowly turning into warmth. Her sobs turned into the sobs of happiness. Her tears were still flowing but it was different at that moment. It was not tears of pain and suffering anymore. It became the tears of hope. Hope that everything will be alright again. Hope that she can get through her sufferings and pains. Hope that something great is about to happen in her life and it’s going to be worth it. Her world which became so cold and gloomy will be filled with sunshine again. And once again, she will be able to stand up with a stronger heart.