What You Are

Chapter 3-1

Chapter 3

Alex knew about the gig, and after what he overheard he was tempted not to go, but he couldn’t do that to his friends. He had been at their concerts since the first gigs they had played and it shouldn’t be that revelation that would change his habits.

He wasn’t homophobic, but the reason he didn’t feel at ease with gay people wasn’t a secret for him. Above all, he couldn’t normally behave around people like Matt, who was too blatantly gay for his taste, like they challenged the others, like they were proud of who they were. But then again, why shouldn’t they be? He had buried the cause of his uneasiness inside and he didn’t want to think about it. It was easier that way. Or, at least, it had been until recently.

Alex knew he just had to work on his problem, in order to figure out how to behave without being a total asshole, but he was scared, and if he let his feelings surface, he also knew everything could get worse. He had never told anyone what happened to him many years ago and had tried hard to forget. And he never felt the need to do that, not even remotely. He was doing fine living in his own world, but now, now that Daniel had revealed his biggest secret, he felt obliged to understand more himself, because they were forced to live together. And this made him nervous.

The pub was called The Cave. It was small but cozy, more like a tavern, actually. It was located lower than the road and there was a small staircase leading patrons down into a room whose walls were covered with wooden beads. Even the tables and chairs were made of wood and they occupied half of the room, the one closer to the bar, while the other one, in front of the stage, was a space for dancing

Gabriel and Kevin were on stage adjusting the amplifiers and microphones, and Alex was sitting at a table with Kate beside him.