#Noelias' Ordeal

She laid down languorously on her bed facing the ceiling. Reminiscing how life was with her fiancé before his untimely demise. “Nate” she silently called. “You used to love that nickname. You know I love it when you told me you loved how the name rolls off my tongue. I want to hear you say that again. I don't mind your name being the only word I'd keep saying till I die. As long as you love it, I'd do that and any other thing for you. I just want you back. I'm so sorry Nathaniel. So sorry” she kept mumbling in between sobs. The door to her room opened. Her mom came in and sat beside her gently patting her head. That little action only reminded her of Nate again. Every action and word seemed to always remind her of him. He was the best fiancé ever. He was her everything. And it was her fault that he died so soon. Well, that's what she always thought since she was the one who forced him to go out with her that night. “It's time baby. All your bags have been loaded into the vehicle. Your dad and the driver are waiting for you outside.” Esther told her daughter though sadness was evident in her voice. She also didn't want her only daughter to leave. But they had no choice. She was tired of seeing Noelia dwelling in sadness. It always broke her heart seeing her cheerful and lively daughter in such state. She wanted her once buoyant baby back, but she knew that part of Noelia died along with Nathaniel. “But mom I don't want to leave.” She replied finally sitting down.” He died here in this city and I'm supposed to live the rest of my life here for him and his family. He died because of me. Leaving our home was painful enough now you want me to leave the country. That's unfair!” Noelia yelled sobbing and shaking vigorously. Her mom drew her closer and hugged her trying so hard not to cry too. “I know baby. Trust me I know how you feel but you have to move on.It's been months already and his parents even gave their consent to this arrangement. They aren't holding you down. Julia said you can go and live your life dear. She doesn't even think you're responsible for her sons' death. Stop punishing yourself sweetie.” After what felt like hours, Noelia pulled away from her mom and wiped off her tears with her palms. “I'm ready mom.” She said with a forced smile on her face. Esther nodded at her daughter and held her hand as they headed outside. Matteo was talking to the driver when Noelia and her mom approached them. He smiled at his daughter, but she only returned his gesture with a deadly glare. If looks could kill, he would probably be six feet under already. Matteo ignored her and moved, so she could climb into the car. Noelia hugged her mom one last time before hopping into the car. As soon as she entered the car, the driver started it, and they drove off to the airport. *********************** “I know you killed him” Matteo froze on hearing that statement. His hands gripping the banister so tightly. “What are you talking about?” He asked finally turning to face Esther and trying so hard to mask his fear. “You heard me clearly. I said I know that you killed Nathaniel.” Esther retorted. “I have absolutely no idea about your accusation. I mean why would I even think of murdering my own daughters' fiancé?” Matteo questioned her. “Oh, you're trying to play dumb now, aren't you? Now explain this to me.” she said typing on her phone before handing it over to Matteo with a voice playing on it. “I just want him dead.” Matteos' voice said. “He's not good enough for my daughter but I can't even convince her to leave him since she's so smitten with him.” “What do you suggest we do to him sir?” The other voice asked. I want you to kill him and make it as discreet as you can. You can make it seem like an accident or something but make sure it doesn't look like he was murdered" “How about we tamper with his car brakes? That seems pretty much easier.” Matteo was trembling so hard after listening to the conversation he had with one of his drivers in his study. “I didn't kill him” he replied not knowing what else to say. “I wanted to but I l...” He was cut short by a loud thud beside the door. “But what dad?” Noelia asked, her voice gravelly low “I know you never liked Nate. You always tried to break us apart. I thought you love me dad but how could you do this to me! You killed your daughters' fiancé just because you didn't like him! I'll never forgive you. I'll never forg....” She slid onto the floor and fully broke down into tears. Esther was watching the scene with an amused smile dancing on her lips. “Nolly, I didn't kill him. Truthfully, I had the plan to do it but I canceled it. Matteo replied striding towards Noelia. He tried to grab her arms to explain, but she pushed him off angrily with full force. Which made Matteo slump and hit his head hard on the floor. "Dad. Matteo!" both Noelia and Esther screamed in unison. "Go get the driver we need to get him to the hospital asap." Esther instructed Noelia. Noelia rushed out in panic and came back with the driver. They carried him into the car and quickly drove off to the hospital. ******************************* It's been about an hour since they rushed Matteo inside the emergency room. Noelia kept pacing up and down the hospital hall sighing every now and then. Esther sat on one of the chairs with her head held in her hands. "Noelia" she called. "Come sit beside me" she told her patting the empty seat beside her. Noelia sighed and rushed towards her mom hugging her like her life depended on it. "It's my fault again mom. I'm sorry I always cause trouble for you. It wasn't intentional. I didn't mean to push him. I don't know what came over me, I....I was just try..." "It's not your fault but mine" Esther cut her short from her ramblings, tracing her palms up and down the middle of Noelias' back. "It's my fault. I killed Nate and now I did this to dad. I don't know how i'd live if anything happened to him" She told her mom blubbering like a child. Noelia pulled away from her mom and sat on the empty chair beside her. "Why did you come back?" Esther asked "I couldn't find the necklace Nathaniel gave me the day he proposed to me, I asked the driver to turn back so I can go look for it in my room. I should have just left the necklace.But I wouldn't have known dad was responsible for his death. I'm so confused I don't even know what to feel towards dad." "How much do you love me Nolly?" Noelia gave her mom a confused look. "Of course I love you more than anyone and anything in this world" "Your dad didn't kill Nate." Esther started. Noelia was about to say something but she stopped her. "Just listen to me Nolly. Truly, he had the plan to do so but he later ordered his driver to cancel it. I don't know why he did that but he didn't kill Nathaniel." "Are you trying to cover up for him because he's your husband? You're unbelievable mom! He killed my fiance and the best you can do is try to cover up for his treacherous act? He betrayed me!" "He didn't, I did." "What?" "I was jealous of you Nolly. You have everything I never had. A rich dad who's willing to do anything for you. A fiance who loved you so much too. It's not my fault. I was just jealous which I guess it's normal right?" Noelia was just staring at her mom like she doesn't understand the language she just spoke. "mom?" "I am not your mom!" Esther screamed at Noelia. Her voice resounded throughout the hall. "Stop calling me your mom. Your mother died after giving birth to you. I tried for years Noelia. Years of waiting for your father to love me like I love him but I couldn't replace Marie in his heart. I thought if I loved and cared for you like my own daughter, maybe he'd at least fall for me because of that but no, he didn't. It was always Marie and you in his heart. He gave you more attention than me. I'm sure he cancelled that plan because he couldn't afford to see you hurt. And I continued with the plan because I wanted to drift you two apart. I wanted you to hate him, leave the house so I could have him all to myself. I didn't even know you'd come back to the house but you only made my plan easier. But he wouldn't be in this horrible state if you had just left the country like we planned. You're just a walking disaster!" Noelia just sat there staring at her mom unable to process everything she said. "You aren't my mom? You killed Nathan? Noelia asked in a weak voice. All the happenings today made her so weak and exhausted. "I was just trying to fight for what's mine. you'd have done the same if you were in my position. Any sensible woman would do the same too." Esther told Noelia like everything she did was normal. "Shut up you murderer! How could you even do this to me! Does it matter if you gave birth to me or not? As long as I love you, does it matter? Now dad is laying there in that stupid bed fighting for his life all because of your own selfishness. Are you satisfied seeing me so hopeless and shattered? Do you hate me that much?" Noelia kept throwing questions at Esther, tears welling in her eyes, feeling so hurt and betrayed. "I wouldn't have resorted to doing all that if you hadn't taken all of Matteos' attention from me! This is what you get from ruining me you bastard!" "What? I ruined you or you destroyed my life!" Noelia was about to slap Esther but her hand was held by a doctor. It was then she noticed they weren't the only one in the hall anymore. She tried to say something but collapsed instead. ********************************** Ever felt so useless being alive? Like you feel you no longer have any reason to stay in this cruel world. When you've lost those who make your life meaningful. When you feel all ruined and shattered. When you feel like you're nothing but a walking disaster. You feel like you're a cursed person who brings only catastrophe into peoples' lives. That's how Noelia felt after the doctor announced her fathers' death. Sometimes you just want to commit suicide but you can't because you feel you shouldn't. It's been three years since Noelias' dad died. "I'm sorry but we couldn't save him" The doctors' words always replayed in her head every night. Noelias' life was no longer hers again. She was living for her fiance and her father. She took on her fathers' business and taking care of Nates' parents too. She still thought it was her fault they both died so soon. Living with the guilt everyday,always having sleepless nights, that's how she's been living for the past three years and that's how she'd keep living till she dies.