Starting Our Forever: Her Savior Series

*Harper's POV* "I'm so sorry, but our last attempt seemed to be unsuccessful..." Those words from the doctor pierced straight through my heart and I immediately felt defeated. He was looking at his clipboard of information that held the results I dreaded most. I thought for sure it had worked this time. I was sitting on the examination table in nothing but a hospital gown, with Dawson's hand in mine as he stood close by my side. I looked over at Dawson, who sent me a reassuring smile even though we had just received the most upsetting news. I knew he was trying to be strong, he was trying to hold himself together for my sake, but I could tell he was just as upset as I was. "It's OK, babe. We will just try again." I slowly nodded in agreement with a forced smile painted on my face. I couldn't help but wonder if this was ever going to happen for us... I kept feeling more and more defeated with every failed attempt. I looked back towards the doctor standing in front of us. "What are our chances of it working a third time?" I asked, afraid of the answer I would get. "The odds are still the same with each attempt. It's approximately a 38% chance with each try," I nodded in understanding. I knew the chances. I knew the potential drawbacks, but I still wanted to try. It's been three years since Dawson and I have been married, and we have been unable to conceive on our own. We tried intrauterine insemination many times, but that has unfortunately been unsuccessful. When the doctor recommended in vetro fertilization as our next step, I was hopeful that this would be exactly what we needed to get a positive result. I wasn't sure why I thought that, but I was trying to be hopeful. Dawson wanted a child so badly. I could see it all over his face. I hated disappointing him every time the next thing we tried didn't work out. "We understand. Thank you doctor," Dawson said, bringing me back to reality. The doctor nodded in response. "I don't want you two to feel defeated. These things happen. Sometimes they don't work the first time or even the second. We will schedule a time for you to come in, so we can try again, yes?" He seemed confident that it could work this time, so I couldn't help but want to try again. I looked at Dawson before nodding back to the doctor. "Yeah, sure. We will try again," I said, not feeling as optimistic this time. The doctor nodded with a smile. He seemed hopeful it would work this next time. I had my doubts. I thought back to an earlier conversation about why all this was happening, and I couldn't help but feel enraged inside when I knew Cole was to blame. Even after his death, he was still tormenting me. It was because of Cole that I clotted in my last pregnancy, creating significant scarring on and around my uterus. The doctor explained that the scarring on the uterus was preventing me from being able to carry a child successfully. We have had two miscarriages within the last three years, and I was terrified that it would happen again. I wasn't sure how much more I could take, but I refused to give up. Dawson attempted to comfort me the best he could as we were on our way home. He grabbed my hand and squeezed as he was driving, forcing me out of my thoughts. I turned to look at him with a faint smile and tears streaking down my face. "I'm so sorry..." I managed to say in a mere whisper. He squeezed my hand harder, a look of concern on his face once he realized I was crying. "Hey, baby, it's OK. We will keep trying until we are successful, OK? I don't want you to be discouraged or give up. We will find a way, OK?" I nodded as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I will love you no matter what happens. I need you to know that, OK?" I nodded once more, feeling slightly relieved. Not that I questioned it at all, but our lack of success with conceiving started to plant other doubts in my mind. *Dawson's POV* Once we got back to the house, I suggested Harper go take a nice, long bubble bath, hoping that would help clear her mind. She was visibly upset after our doctor's appointment. Why wouldn't she be? We were both understandably disappointed, but it absolutely killed me to see her like this. "I'm going to go do some work in the office for a bit. Will you be OK on your own for a bit?" I asked her, unsure whether she would be, but I had pressing matters to deal with. "Of course," she said with a reassuring smile. Her face absolutely clenched my heart, knowing she was forcing herself to be happy. I could see right through it all. She was hurting, and I wanted nothing more to be by her side every waking second, but I also had business matters that couldn't wait. "I love you. We will figure this out, OK?" I said, knowing that no matter what happened, I would always be there for her. "I love you too," she said in her normal gentle voice before walking up the stairs, towards our floor. As soon as she cleared the landing, I turned and walked towards the office. I was deep in work about our drug cartels and the different business fronts we owned when my dad comes in and closes the door behind him. "Well, how did the appointment go?" He pressed the issue immediately, making me release a heavy sigh. "Not well. It didn't work," I said with a hint of sadness, though I tried to hide it from my dad. "Well, what are you going to do son? You know you need an heir to be next in line for the business." I stopped what I was doing and clenched my fists on my desk, letting my anger take over. "What do you mean, what am I going to do? We are going to try again and that's that," I paused before continuing. "I understand you want a grandchild and I can appreciate that, but this is a personal matter between Harper and me. We are already upset enough about it, so I would appreciate it if you would drop this for now," I warned, with a slight glare in his direction. "I understand you're upset son, but I can't just drop this... I've been very patient, but I was promised you would have an heir within three years..." "Back off dad, I'm warning you... I can't help that what we are doing is not working! We will have a child when we have a f*****g child!" I yelled, moving to a standing position. My anger radiated throughout the entire room. I had enough of his b******t. He couldn't give me even a second to grieve on my own. "Son, it's my job to look after you and the business-" I abruptly cut him off. "Not anymore, dad. The business is my concern now and we both know that. We are still really young. We have plenty of time to have a child." "Maybe you do, but the business might not..." I glared in his direction with a hint of confusion. "What the h**l is that supposed to mean?" I asked for clarification. "You know we have other leaders on our a*s, wanting to take over at just the slightest sign of weakness and if they realize we don't have someone next in line, they will not hesitate to try to step in and overthrow us." I gave a slight nod, understanding this was where he was going with this. This had always been a concern of his, but I haven't had any recent signs that this was a possibility. "I will handle that if that happens," I responded with confidence, knowing I would handle that if and when the time came. "You are way over your head if you think anything other than an heir would fix this," he said, causing me to slam my fist down hard on my desk. "Get out!" I yelled in his direction, causing him to stalk out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him. I slammed my fist down hard on my desk once more, letting my anger get the best of me. That old man was really starting to test me and I knew I would explode on him very soon if he kept it up. He wasn't necessarily wrong, but I was confident I had at least a couple more years before I was challenged for my position. Having a next of kin, especially a boy, was really important to keep the strength of my position intact. Harper and I both knew that, but it's also out of our hands at this point. All we can do is keep trying and only hope the next attempt will work. *Harper's POV* I desperately wanted to just tuck myself away in my bedroom and sleep the day away, but I knew I had to keep going. I am a mafia leader's wife now. I had certain duties and responsibilities to uphold. I couldn't let my feelings get in the way of that... After my long bath, I made my way downstairs to bake some cookies for the boys. I knew they would be coming in for an afternoon snack soon, so I wanted something ready. Plus, baking was one of my releases. Something about it calmed me down and made me forget my problems, even if it was only for a short amount of time. I was about ready to put the cookie sheets in the oven when a familiar face walked in the kitchen. "Hello, sweetheart!" Michelle's smile lit up the entire room. I smiled back at her, appreciating that she still came in to help me from time to time. Ever since Dawson took over the business, Michelle and Zeke moved into the penthouse on the south side of the property. I know she tries to stay out of our way now and give us privacy, even though I told her time and time again she is welcome any time. "Hi, Michelle," I said. I forced a smile across my face, even though happiness was far from how I was feeling. "How was the appointment?" She asked with a wave of concern. I could tell she sensed something was wrong before I even spoke. I couldn't normally get anything past this woman... She was excellent at reading people. "Not well," I paused, desperately trying to keep my tears at bay, but as soon as she saw my lips beginning to quiver, she quickly grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "Awe, sweetheart..." She gently rubbed my back before pulling back to look me in the eyes. I turned to look away, feeling embarrassed. I knew they wanted a grandchild by now. Zeke made that clear time and time again, but I felt so helpless knowing I was doing everything I could to try to make it happen, but it still wasn't enough... "Tell me what happened..." she gently probed, knowing I needed to get it out. I needed to tell someone. She knew we had this appointment today, so I'm sure she had been waiting all morning for us to come back. "It didn't take," I told her. ".. But we are going to try again. The doctor seems to think it will work this time," I said with a smile. My doctor seemed more sure about it than I did. I had so many emotions coursing through my body at that moment that I could no longer contain my tears. They slowly streaked down my face, causing me to wipe them away immediately. "I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, but please know that I'm here for you.." she smiled encouragingly. "I just don't want to be a disappointment to you guys..." I managed to say, letting my fears come to light. "Oh my g*d, why would you ever think that, darling?" She placed her hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look up at her. "I just- I know having a grandchild is really important to you g-guys...and I'm trying...I promise I'm trying, but nothing seems..to be working... What if I can never have a child?" That last question scared me. What if I couldn't provide Dawson with what he wanted? What he needed to protect the family business? Would he leave me? Find someone else? I shook my head, tormented by my thoughts. "Hey, you aren't doing anything wrong, sweetheart. We know you are trying, and you can't help these things," she said. "Yes, we would love a grandchild-of course, but don't let anyone else make you feel bad about it. Do you hear me?" She asked sternly. I could only manage a nod as I continued wiping the tears from my face. "Good. Now, let's distract ourselves by finishing these amazing cookies, shall we?" I nodded with a smile as she wiped the rest of the tears from my face before we turned to focus on finishing the chocolate chip cookies I had started. Before I knew it, I was completely distracted by a conversation with Michelle, the chocolate chip cookies, and the radio playing in the background. This was a welcoming distraction that I desperately needed. As soon as the cookies were done, Zeb, Blake, Tyler, and a few other men following close behind, attacked the freshly made cookies on the counter. I rolled my eyes and laughed as they all filled their hands with cookies, knowing they would all be gone in a few short minutes. "Mmm, these are delicious. Thanks Harper. Thanks Shelly," Blake said with a smile. Everyone else followed suit and thanked us as they continued shoving their faces full of cookies. "You are welcome," we both managed to say at the same time. We laughed at the coincidence. "You boys training hard?" I asked, knowing that's exactly what they just got done doing. They all nodded in response. "Yep, trying to get the boys ready for any eventuality," Blake said. I nodded in understanding, knowing that was always a possibility. I know the Russians have been bugging Dawson lately, which made everyone a little bit nervous, wondering what they were up to. I hoped nothing was in the works on their end, but you never know with them.. I shook the thought out of my head as I tried to focus on the second batch of cookies in front of me. "How's law school going?" Zeb asked as he put an entire cookie in his mouth before chewing and swallowing. I shook my head with a slight smile. "It's going well. I have two more years to go, and then I can take the BAR," I said, feeling a little apprehensive about the whole thing, but I have been preparing for it by notating and saving everything from all of my classes, hoping that will help. "Oh, I'm sure you'll do just fine," Zeb said with confidence. "Thanks," I smiled in his direction before turning to Blake. "How are you and Talia doing?" I asked, feeling nosy. I hadn't talked to her since last weekend, but I know she has been really busy studying for midterms. "We are doing great! Actually, I'm glad you brought it up because I've been wanting to tell you...I'm planning on proposing this weekend after her last midterm," he said, gleaming with a smile. My mouth dropped in complete shock. "Oh my g*d, Blake! That's so great!" he reached into his pocket to pull out a small black box. He opened it, showing me the diamond ring placed in the middle of the soft pillow. I was in awe. It looked absolutely gorgeous. "Blake! It's absolutely beautiful! I think she will love it!" He smiled, seeming proud of his selection. "I hope so... I'm kind of nervous..." I was surprised to hear that because Blake wasn't shy or nervous about anything, but I can tell Talia did that to him. He absolutely loved her. It was clear to see that from the start. "Does everyone here know?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, all the guys know. Dawson knows. He actually gave me a recommendation of what ring to pick," his confession caused my eyes to go wide. I was surprised Dawson knew and didn't tell me. As if he was reading my mind, Blake quickly jumped in. "And don't get mad at Dawson. I told him not to tell you. I wanted to tell you myself," he confessed. I quickly replaced my frustrations with a smile and let myself relax a little. "Well, I am so incredibly happy for you two! I cannot wait to hear all about it from her after this weekend!" I said as I pulled Blake into a hug. He wasn't typically the hugging type, but he humored me. "Yeah, I've already started planning his bachelor party!" Tyler exclaimed, sounding excited. I was glad that he was able to get over Talia and nothing seemed weird between the two. They actually were able to rekindle their friendship after everything that happened. "She hasn't even said yes yet..." Blake explained, looking a tad nervous. "She will. I know she will," I smiled with certainty. I knew Talia and she was head over heels in love with Blake. Plus, we have had many conversations about exactly that, so I knew I was spot-on with my prediction. Blake smiled, seeming more confident now. "Congratulations again. I'm so very happy for you both. If there is anything we can do, please let us know!" I smiled wide, anticipating a very exciting conversation with my best friend very soon. "Thanks," Blake said with a smile and a look of appreciation.