My childhood was filled with fear. And I feared everything for the future. I feared getting married. I didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to ever depend on someone like my mom did. Not only did I not want to depend on someone, I didn’t want to hop from one person to another, like my father, and be scared of being alone after over 20 years.
My father cheated on my mother with her own sister. Her older, fatter sister.
She was kicked out before I graduated high school. And three months later, after I turned 18, he decided that him and my mother were getting a divorce, that way he wouldn’t need to pay child support. I was the youngest after all.
He moved out a day after Christmas.
My mother was nowhere near the perfect housewife. She was an alcoholic, and she had been diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure in my 11th year of high school.
The only person I ever felt happy and myself around was Nick... he was my high school sweetheart, and because of my fear... I drove him away. I made him go to college, I cut off all contact, and for 8 years... I was okay with being alone.
But one decision, one major move from one city to another, and he's the only familiar face I didn't want to see.