Undefeated Mother

16. Letting her go

Felicity POV

 I have been circling around the great hall for the last two hours. I knew that Francis was in his room but I didn’t have the courage to go up to him. What do you say to a person who found out that his mother abandoned him, he has been wondering aimlessly for the last 7 months, the love of his life doesn’t want him and he has a wolf stuck in his head.

I needed to release some steam, I walked to the boxing ring and hit a few punches on the dummy. It wasn’t enough though, I kept thinking of all the people I have hurt in the past.

I felt a warm nudge to my leg and I immediately knew who it was, Zara. She wasn’t as fast or as goofy as she used to be. She was a lot calmer now, leaving for weeks to wonder in the woods but she would always come back whenever I needed her.

“What should I do Zara?” I sat down next to her and started stroking her head.

I knew she was a gift from the Moon Goddess herself but Sarah used her to spy on me.

“Sarah I know you can hear me. What do I do?” I was slowly losing my mind I was trying to talk to a woman who has been dead for over a thousand years… through a dog.

“It’s your destiny” I heard Sarah’s voice in my head, so it did work.

“Stop saying that!!! What destiny? I have messed up people lives. I don’t have a slightest clue what I’m doing. I need guidance I need help” I realised that this must have been how Francis felt.

I ran up the stairs and barged into Francis’ room. I found him sitting on the bed with his head between his hands. It was all my fault, I was slowly turning into my own mother, forcing people to do what I wanted them to do rather then telling them choose.

“Leave me alone” he murmured under his breath.

“No, you are going to sit there and listen” I started walking up and down his room trying to figure out what I’m going to say. “I know what you must feel but we need to work through this” he lifted his head up and looked at me confused.

“This? What is this Felicity? I have no idea what this life is. I believed in EVERYTHING you said, I thought I could be there for you but I have no idea what I’m doing” he stood up and faced me.

“This… is our life Francis. We are Royals if you like it or not. It’s out of our hands if we are happy or not. I have a f****d-up childhood and a f****d up marriage but I survived because I needed to..”

“You needed to because you had the Daughters, I have no one!”

“YOU HAVE ME!” I started to cry. No matter what I didn’t want to lose Francis. I only knew few for a short amount of time but he was my family.

“ Francis I’m sorry for being selfish and making you stay here. Making you bring your wolf out. I wanted to protect everyone no matter the cost and I knew that having two grown Royals would protect everyone from the Elders…. But I never stopped to think about you. If you want to leave I will understand. There is an old ritual which could lead to ripping your wolf out and you could lose him. You don’t deserve to have a life you don’t want. I’m sorry” tears rolled down my face as I was letting my brother go.

“I have thought about it, Levi is annoying and he keeps talking to me. But I have grown to like him” my head shot up. “To an extent anyway, I want her back Felicity. I can’t stop thinking about Naomi and this drive makes me want to fight for her. That’s how I feel and that’s what I want. I just need a little time” Francis engulfed me in his hugged as I cried into his shirt making it wet “How do you feel Felicity?” he asked me softly.

I didn’t know how to answer, my emotions were sky high, all the secrets all the lies and all the pain was getting to me. “I’m tired” I confessed. “I’m tired of keeping up this façade,  I’m no longer the person I was. I’m a warrior and  fighter. I fight for what is right and I don’t know what that is anymore. I thought Kilian  was the right person for me and I was wrong. I fought for your mate and then I hurt you. I fought for Cassius and I lost him. I’m tired of fighting I feel… defeated. I’m tired of all the lies”.

Francis pulled me away from his chest and looked at me a sudden grin appeared on his face, how I started to hate his smirks now. “You need to tell him the truth now. He deserves to know”. I wanted to change the topics I couldn’t think about Kilian right now.

“So what’s the plan?” Francis asked seeing my hesitation.

“I need to sort Stonecross Pack out as well as Dark Shade. We also need to figure out what to do about Naomi. There is no chance I’m giving up on your happiness like I did on mine”.

“This will sound stupid but did you have any weird dreams when Estrid came out?” he asked.

“No why?”

“This old woman keeps appearing in my dreams and telling me that ‘it’s my destiny’, it’s really annoying”.

“Yeah she can really annoying but she means well” I answered sarcastically.

Three days later

I was in the board room with twenty of my Daughters, half were going to Dark Shade and half were going to Stonecross. They were under strict instructions to train all the members of each Pack. Dark Shade has lost most of its warriors to the Elders and this mission was one of the most secret ones we have done. The Elders couldn’t find out that we were training them as they would ask for more warriors straight away.

Stonecross was different, Lucas was a good Alpha who had all the right people around him. He only needed to train his youngest pups and the newest members.

“Does everyone understand their missions?” I asked.

“Yes Mother” they answered unanimously.

“We have had a rise in the Daughters that were admitted so our defence will be safe, now please go and pack. Go get your dogs as well”.

I dismissed everyone but I noticed that Lily stayed behind. I knew that it was a conversation I needed to have but I knew I was going to lose a sister.

“Mother could I have a word” she asked politely.

“Just call me Felicity” I smiled softly.

“I didn’t get a file, you wanted me to train either Dark Shade or the new pack..”

“Stonecross” I finished.

“Yes, but I don’t know where I’m going or how long for. What should I do? Or have I done something that upset you?” she was getting all worried.

“I didn’t give you a file because you are officially off the mission. It is your choice to go  to lead my Daughters” she looked up at me with confusion in her eyes. “I want you to lead them and take my place at Stonecross but you don’t have to return if you don’t want to”.

“What?”

“Have  you ever been defeated?” I asked plainly. “Please don’t lie”.

“I fought my hardest Felicity” her voice kept from changing from scared to apologetic. “I’m so sorry I know I failed you but I thought no-one would know. You were gone and everyone went to look for you and he was there for me. He was always there for me. Please don’t exile me, I will do anything …”

“Lily calm down, I’m not exiling you. I’m giving you a chance at happiness. You don’t have to come back if you don’t want to. The choice is yours, now please go and pack”.