The Alpha's Mate (GxG)

chapter Nine - lost in thoughts

Arya’s Point of view

My heart was beating so fast I thought that it was going to come out my mouth thus I kept my lips sealed just look at her questioningly. I could feel my fear increasing each and every second as I contemplated all of the consequences and the different scenarios I could find my self in if anyone found out that I was mated to her. I admire woman and their beauty ,sure ice always known that I might be interested in girls more than I should be. I never really paid much thought into my sexuality but I wasn’t oppose to being bisexual or a lesbian , the issue here is more than sexuality. I watched as she took a seat next to me and damn was she beautiful. So tiny ,fragile and angelic she made my wolf just burn with passion m I wanted to Wrap her up in my arms and just never let go.

I might use my wolf as an excuse but I too was checking her out and greatly interested in her more than I cared to admit. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight just a genuine longing and curiosity of what we could be or could have been. I wondered once more about her sexuality what if she wasn’t even interested to girls. Honestly I could not care any less about her attraction to other girls at this point I just wanted to know if she was attracted to me or at least found me as interesting as I found her. Had I been a male I wouldn’t be under so much stress and so much pressure. On some days I curse my gender and the moon goddess for bringing me to this life just to me pushed around when all I can do is just try to be strong and take whatever was coming at me. “ that is why I lost my wife , you are such a weakling and have cost me my greatest treasure,” my father’s words rang through my thoughts just like they have along the years.

On some days he constantly reminds me of my mistakes and how useless I am but on other days he wants to not be reminded of my mother’s passing. I was only but a kid and could not fight off a group of rogues but somehow I sometimes forget that and believe his words. All the years of verbal and physical abuse have brought me to this point. The self hatred and self pity had slowly faded off and I somewhat grew to love and value myself in my own unique way. I was finally at peace with all that life has dealt me and allowed it make me stronger but this was something I was never ready for. Had my mate been a male I still would have other issues . Is he strong enough to please my father ,am I good enough for him ? Does he expect me to just sit around being pretty or would he actually let me live my life and fulfill my goal to be the first and greatest female werewolf alpha in creation.

Sparks ignited within my body and awoke my wolf from deep within me. I slowly and reluctantly moved away from my mates touch . Her touch ignited feelings within me that I was never ready for and not prepared to allow myself feel or fully embrace. I looked at her and noticed the paper on her hand written “ you think long, what is it? Are you ok?” I raised my eyes back to her face once more and I swear she almost took my breath away. My heart started beating like some sort of broken generator as I tried to collect my thoughts but failed. She looked so peaceful and worried it took me of guard. The look of genuine care and worry displayed within the depths of her eyes was unlike any thing I have ever seen before. The only and last person to show such innocent , genuine care for me had been my beloved , dearly departed mother and no other after her .

Ever since my mother died a lot of people adopted my father’s beliefs that it was all my fault and I was a reckless kid. Others hated me trying to assume my birthright as the future alpha of the back while others just could not be bothered to care at all and assumed me to he spoiled and privileged as I was the alphas daughter. I was called princess and privileged yet no one saw all of the trials and tribulations that my father put me through and those that did just took his side or saw me as a weak little princess not feat for a position of power and leadership. She was different ,she cared . Her touch was soft and tender so was her gaze upon me. My Wolf had never felt so safe and comfortable around another being in yeah but with her it just came naturally. All of my worries seemed to not matter as much as I looked a her beautiful , loving face just wanting to be held within her embrace. The desire to be in her arms was slowly outweighing my fear of being chastised for my sexuality and soul mate.