“He – he was in my unit. Well, not my unit. Dean was the LT, but I was in it with Jim. And with Tiegert.”
“Tiegert?”
“Yeah.” His voice was soft. “Billy Tiegert.”
He stopped again. She was suddenly very aware of the tension in his whole body, the prairie distance in his gray eyes. Whatever had happened, it was obviously something that Chris didn’t talk about easily.
Maybe he doesn’t talk about it at all.
“He was an experienced Ranger, but he was new to Afghanistan. Tiegert had done all his tours in Iraq, and the man had raided compounds and protected Embassy workers and generally kicked ass all over the place, wherever he was asked to go.” Chris sighed. “And he was a nice guy. You know? Like, the kind of guy who’d hand you his shirt and shoes if he thought you needed them. No questions asked.”
Jenny nodded.
Chris ran his hands up and down her back, finding it soothed him to touch her. “He’d been with our unit for about a week, no more than that. And he and I went out on patrol in a known Taliban-stronghold neighborhood. Not unusual, not even really alarming. We’d always found that grid pretty quiet – families, mostly, and even though we knew where their loyalties lay, it was lots of women and kids. Nothing to get too worried about. And so I was complacent, not as alert as I was usually.” He swallowed. “Lazy, even.”
“Tiegert followed my lead, of course. When he saw how relaxed I was, he lowered his guard, too. So when the woman in the burka approached him, he didn’t even think about it twice.”
Jenny paused. She hated to show her ignorance, but she honestly didn’t know what a burka was. She asked him.
“The burka is the most concealing thing a woman can wear,” he told her. “The hijab is a headscarf that allows you to see the whole of the woman’s face, and the niqab has a veil that covers the face, but you can still see her eyes without any problems. The burka, though… it hides everything. The woman looks through a mesh screen, and you can’t see her at all. Even up close, you can’t make any real eye contact.”
“Got it,” she said. “So a woman who was totally covered up talked to Tiegert?”
“Yeah. And it was weird, because in that neighborhood, women never wore burkas. Every woman I’d ever seen was in a niqab. Plus, no woman ever approached us first. Even the women who knew us from our patrols and who were friendly never acknowledged us that directly. But here was this woman – covered from head to toe – walking straight over to Tiegert like he was her best damn friend in the world.”
“I saw it all happen, and I didn’t even really twig. I mean, I knew this neighborhood; I knew these people. The kids liked us, knew my name. No trouble there, not even once. The patrols were more a formality by that point, and I’d told Tiegert that when we headed out that morning.”
“He was talking to her and smiling, and I turned away to scan the street behind us. That was when the bomb went off.” Chris turned on his side now, touched his upper back. She’d seen the scar tissue there, of course; she’d kissed it, run her tongue over it. But she’d never once asked him how it had happened. “I was thrown backwards about twenty feet into a parked car. The windshield shattered and cut me badly. When I managed to get to my feet, it was all over. Tiegert was gone, the woman was gone, an entire row of shops and homes was gone. Dead kids, dead women everywhere. Blood and blown-off limbs and… toys.”
Jenny gasped. “But why would she want to hurt anyone besides you and Tiegert? Why hurt kids? Fellow Afghans?”
“Because this neighborhood had become a bit too friendly with us. It was a message: don’t be too nice to the Americans. And the message was received, loud and clear. That day there were three more suicide bombers in burkas blowing up American soldiers in formerly-friendly neighborhoods. It was coordinated and planned well, and the warning was as clear as a f*****g bell.”
“Dean and Jim and my unit showed up within about three minutes, and we all did what we could for the wounded, but the locals wouldn’t let us do much. They knew whose fault this all was.” Chris shook his head. “The women screamed at us when we tried to touch the kids, and the old people screamed at us when we tried to help the women. In the end, all we could do was stand there and stand guard. Look for a second wave.”
“You mean a second bomb?”
“Yeah. The way it usually worked was that there was one bomb, then once help arrived – the Americans, medical services – they detonated a second one. The second bomb always yielded more casualties… and better ones. More targeted and valuable.”
Jenny felt sick.
“Anyway, we stayed until the ambulances arrived and we escorted them to the hospital, and that was all we could do. I went back to base to get patched up and then I had to sit down with Dean and file a report about the incident. I had to look my LT in the eye, and tell him that I’d f*****g failed in my duty. I’d – I’d let an unknown approach a fellow Ranger, and I didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow.” He tightened his arms around her. “I didn’t say one word to Tiegert about backing up. I didn’t even f*****g think to tell him to watch out.”
“So that’s why you think it’s your fault?”