The God of Gravity part 3: Apocalypse

Life

“Who's there?” called a man, approaching the cell.

“Crap,” says Jasper before turning into a fly.

The man looked at me with her knees bending a little. He's being careful around me. Not that I will do something to hurt him.

“Who were you talking to?” he asks.

“To Lady Juliet,” I answer.

“What for?”

“For-”

“For investigations,” she says behind him. He turns around. She continues, “As the Third Seater of Olympus Mons, it's my job. I told you this but you won't listen. Don't I have your respect?” She looks down at him (figuratively) although he's taller.

“Oh, I'm sorry, my lady,” he bows. “Please continue in the time you require.”

He goes out of the cell leaving me, Lady Juliet, and Jasper who is a fly at the moment. “Don't tell her about the ring,” says Jasper in my ear.

He can whisper as a fly. Then he whispers to Lady Juliet about something. She nods and he leaves.

“I do have a question to ask you, Leonide,” she says. “What happened?”

“I don't know,” I answer. I don't have anything with me to explain. The feeling I feel is just that I'm feeling weak. Feeling this way feels better.

“You didn't remember anything while you're in a rampage?”

“None, my lady.” Except I know Mila lied to me.

“The House Leaders won't accept that as an answer. Instead, they'll make their own. But don't worry, we understand how mysterious your power is. I heard they're itching to kill you before you go nuts again.”

“Kill me? Nobody even cares about me as well as I have no one else to care about. I can carry on living if I'm allowed. If you guys want to kill me, then do as you want.”

“No. Mila, Aurelia, Darius, Hyeon, Lady Danae, Lord Enzo, I, and others care about you. We're doing our best to appease the House Leaders. It'll be easy from now on since Lady Danae is here.”

“I'll let you guys do what you want. Tell them if they can't save me, don't stress themselves. I won't hold a grudge.”

“Don't be like that, Leonide. Don't treat yourself like you aren't worth fighting for.”

“I'm just saying… that I don't want any more of you to waste time for me. You have better things to do like helping other people. I'll be glad if you do that so that others will not go through the same thing as I did.”

“We're doing that too and we want to help you just like others. I'm gonna go now and please have faith in us. Keep living… for us, Leonide. We care about you. Don't forget that.”

Answering is the least I want to do right now. She turns around to the door. She locks it and leaves, leaving me alone in this box-like cell.

I feel something heavy inside my chest. I remember the time I got deep into Mila's mind and saw through her lie. Hera might be dead. Should I accept it? Will I feel better if I did? If I keep believing that she's still alive, it could give me the strength to carry on living inside this hell. But what if I realize in the end that she's dead? Then what's the point of all that fighting? If I accept it right here, right now… will I feel better? Of course, not. It will hurt me. But if I endure it, then nothing can hurt me anymore. Losing my little sister is the most painful thing there is for me.

I should accept she's dead…

I'm sorry… Mom… Dad… I failed you.

Then… what is the point of me living now? What else is there left to do? My dream of becoming the King is shattered, people are treating me like a monster ready to go wild any second, I'm nothing but a drag for my friends, and I realize I can't be the person I want to be. I wanted to be the strongest that protects everyone. I failed at it.

As much as I have no idea of what I'm going to do now, I want to find one just to keep myself breathing. I want to take my time in this cell to think of something. I don't even know if I can find one but I'll try.

I can't believe I've never started to think about this before but what is life, anyway? Life starts from being born. Parents take care of you to become a better person. You go to school to learn. To learn what? How the world works. What for? So when you grow up, you'll get a job and avoid getting homeless and starving.

And love is another thing that I think gives life purpose. I love my sister and my family. Achieving my best in life makes them proud so I kept on it, to make them happy. Friends are people who share some of the situations you're in. They have families as you do. Also interests. Slowly, they also become the people you want to protect and make them proud. It gives you more motivation to go on and achieve more, keep living to the fullest.

Romantic love is just the same thing but with a deeper meaning. I don't know much about it but Dad said that a man must be ready to give up what he has for his woman, even it means giving up on a dream. He said he's lucky that he found Mom that wants him to achieve his dream. Anyway, romantic love always leads to having children. Think about it, everyone finds someone they're attracted to. They want to be in a relationship with her or him. Eventually, if fate allows them, they will marry. Marrying means becoming one to start a family. Both partners must do their roles as parents. The warm feeling they feel in their hearts for their children is great enough to make them endure doing things that they hate. That's how they get mature as parents. Then the cycle starts again with those children.

That's life. Always have been for ages. Anybody who strays from that grows to become bitter and unfulfilled and depressed. Whether it be their fault or others or the world. Regardless if they don't kill themselves, they continue living without purpose. Without family expecting them to do better and without loved ones they feel obligated to nurture. They feel lost and just wastes time in every way they can before they die. It's like what's happening to me right now. Will I be like this?

Just give me at least one reason to live and fight. Fight for my friends? I think I'm just making them suffer more if I keep living. But I'm not ready to die just yet. I feel like I'm not. Then what do I have to do?

Maybe… run away?

That's somehow better than staying here. Staying here is hell. I think I would feel much better if I'm alone. But if do, I would feel like I'm abandoning them. What if I still help them in the shadows? There are things they can't do because of the chains that Olympus stopping them. If I'm free of it, I can do it in their place.

It's… just like what Jasper is doing right now. I understand now. This is why he gave me this ring. I can tell him anytime that I want to join them. He'll create a brilliant plan to bust me out with the help of his powerful comrades but not right now. I still have to decide if I really want to. I'll just wait it out until I do. There isn't enough reason to become rogue right now. I might change my mind soon. I don't want any more regrets so I must think about this carefully and reasonably. For me to think reasonably, I must be calm at all times.

I must feel… nothing. I must be the kind of person that doesn't take in emotions and wait until they burst. Instead, I must take them in and let them go. It'll make me avoid getting out of control. Right now, I feel a lot of regrets, sadness, anger, and resentment. It's gathering in my chest. That's why it feels so heavy.

Everything that happened, may it be my fault or others, I can't do anything about them now. They already happened. Revenge won't help, feeling sorry won't make it better, and punishment won't change it. Letting it go is the answer.

I take it all in with the air I'm breathing, then sigh to let them go. My chest feels lighter. I never thought it was so easy. Letting go is the answer to my problems. Getting attached is the start of those problems. It's not like I want to detach myself from my friends but if I care about them, their troubles will trouble me too. I'll just do my best to help them but whatever the result, I'll gladly accept it then let it go. It's my only way to live now.

I wake up by the sound of the heavy door opening. I was asleep the whole time? No wonder I saw as if what I thought about is played on a screen.

“Leonide,” says someone from the door. I raise my face to see who it is. It's Lady Danae. She looks like a grownup Mila. She called my name but I don't want to answer. “Do you still remember me?” she asks. Of course, I do. “I'm Danae, the sister of Mila and Aurelia. I believe we met before, right?” We did. She touches my filthy forehead with her soft and gentle hand. “How are you feeling?” She waits for me to answer but I'm not in the mood to talk. “Can you please just shake your head if not?” Still, I don't answer. My face drops forward as soon as she lets me go. “I'm gonna heal you now. Stay still.”