Episode 01
People say choices define who we are. But what if the choices we make aren’t really ours to begin with?
My name is Arkana Malik, and this is the story of my first real choice—the first time I was allowed to decide something for myself. It was the year I graduated from junior high school, standing at the crossroads of my future, faced with a decision that felt heavier than I ever imagined.
Senior high school or vocational school?
It sounded simple on paper, but in reality, it was a question that would shape my entire future. Most of my friends were heading to senior high school, a familiar environment with familiar faces. If I followed them, everything would be easier—I wouldn’t have to adjust, I wouldn’t have to start over. But was ‘easier’ the right choice?
Then there was my sister. She had chosen vocational school and walked a path that gave her a clear career direction. Was it foolish to take the same road, knowing at least what awaited me? Or would I just be a shadow of someone else’s decision?
I spent sleepless nights thinking about it. I had never made a decision this big before. My mother had always been there, guiding me, making sure I took the right path. Now, for the first time, I was on my own. What if I chose wrong? What if I regretted it? What if this choice led to something worse? I wasn’t just thinking about myself—I was thinking about my mother and my sister too. If I chose vocational school, I could start working earlier and help them financially. But was that really what I wanted, or was I forcing myself to grow up too fast?
I was only 15. Shouldn’t I be thinking about my own future first? But how could I be so selfish when I knew the struggles my family faced? I felt trapped between what I wanted and what I needed to do. The thought of stepping into a completely new world terrified me. Would I end up alone? Would I find myself surrounded by the wrong people? I had always heard stories about bad friendships ruining someone's life, and I didn’t want to be one of them.
After much thought and internal conflict, I finally made my choice. Vocational school. I told myself it was the right thing to do, the responsible thing to do. But deep down, I still wasn’t sure. Maybe I never would be.
But my dilemma didn’t end there.
Vocational school meant choosing a major, and this choice was just as crucial. At school, four options stood before me: Accounting, Office Administration, Social Work, and Software Engineering. Each had its own world, its own culture. Some were dominated by men, others by women. Some led to rigid desk jobs, others to dynamic fieldwork. The decision wasn’t just about preference—it was about where I fit in.
I started analyzing my strengths. Numbers have always been my thing. Since elementary school, math has been my strong suit. Teachers always praised my quick calculations, and I enjoyed solving problems that required logic rather than memorization. Accounting stood out as the perfect choice.
There was only one problem—most of the students in Accounting were girls.
Did that matter? Maybe. Maybe not. But in the end, skill mattered more than stereotypes. If I was good at it, if I enjoyed it, then why should I let something so trivial decide my future? Three years in an environment where I was in the minority wouldn’t mean anything if it secured me a career I was passionate about.
Still, doubt lingered in my mind. Would I regret this decision? Would I be able to handle the challenges ahead? No one could answer those questions but me.
The first day of school arrived faster than I expected. As I stepped through the gates of my new school, a mix of excitement and nervousness filled my chest. The campus was bustling with students, some chatting excitedly, others scanning their schedules. My heart pounded as I realized—this was it. A new beginning.
What I didn’t know was that this was just the beginning of a much bigger labyrinth—one where every choice I made would lead to unexpected consequences. The path I had chosen was set, but whether it led to success or regret, only time will tell.
