Freak (Book 1)

Nile

                                                                    f**k my life

“You are going to die alone-” Roxy's words ran through my body like adrenaline, I mean I knew I was going to die alone but hearing her saying it hurt even more. It's like you know you're dumb but when someone else clarifies it, it sucks even more.

“Nile?” I blinked my eyes trying to clear my fuzzy vision and looked up to the red-headed beauty who stood there in her tight cheerleading uniform, I smirked as Maddie stood there . “I just want to let you know that, I am completely over you” she said confidently, I saw her hands clutch over the strap of her duffle bag and her face quickly turning into the same shade of her red bottoms. “Congratulations Madison” I said rubbing my eyes looking away from her, half the class was gone including Adam and Hunter. Did I sleep the whole entire class?. I didn't bother to look back at Maddie, I soon saw her body storm down the aisle, out the door and probably starting a fit in the hallway. I sighed softly and rested my head on the cool table and closed my eyes relaxing. What's the plan for today Nile? You can't just get high and waste the day away.  “Scumbag” I heard someone hiss, and I already knew who it was meant for. I lifted my head up off the cool countertop and looked over at Roxy who sat there with her arms crossed over her huge t**s. “And you like it babe” I said grabbing my bag from the ground and standing up from the stool, I felt a sudden head rush as I stood on my two feet. I carefully made my way over to Roxy and down next to her “Oh come on Rox, You know I didn’t mean what I said” A smile crawled onto my face as my poked her arm continuously trying to get a reaction from her. Me and Roxy had a complicated relationship, but she is always going to be one of those people that can never be mad at me. This girl was my best friend, whether she liked it or not, Roxanne couldn’t quit me. “Roxy, you can’t be mad at me..” I leaned in closer as her face had no change, it stayed hard as stone. I sat there for a while, she didn’t say anything or even glance at me. “Rox-” I started, “All done, sorry for the hold up” a soft tone cut me off, I clenched my jaw and drew my eyes away from Roxy and over to the pale girl who stood there with papers clenched in her sleeve covered palms. I f*****g hated when someone cuts me off from speaking. I intensified my stare and it scared her causing her body to move back a few steps “Don’t you f*****g see me having a conversation?” I hissed, she opened her mouth to say something but all that came out was faint sounds, her eyes pried away from mine as she searched for an answer for the rhetorical question. “Leave her alone Nile, don’t you have something better to do?” Roxy finally spoke coming to the defense of the new girl. I puffed out a laugh, and nodded my head standing up from the stool. “Okay Roxy, if you really want to play house with-” I looked back to the girl dressed in back, her bangs settled on top of her eyes which stared at me with complete fright “With some f*****g freak, be my guest” I looked away from her and back at Roxy who still wouldn’t look at me “Call me later if you want to talk” I swung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out of the class.

At last I walked into my last class of the day, It was a shitty class about being a teenager. My dean put me in that class because of my anger problems, everybody in this had some f****d up past that the school is trying to help us ‘recover’ from. The students within the classroom eagerly talked as I walked down the aisle of desks “Evening Mr. Cale” my teacher said greeting me. Piss off. I rolled my eyes and walked to the back of the class. I didn’t bother talking to anyone in this class, everyone here was just weird as f**k. I sat myself in the back corner of the class where no one else sits, mostly because I don’t allow anyone to sit next me. I pulled my phone out and sighed rolling through the numerous texts I haven’t answered. “Looks like we a late comer as always” the teacher said, I scrolled through i********: of babes that all looked the same “I am Mrs. Hatch, and this is teen health. We welcome you with open arms” I laughed through my teeth and switched off my phone and crossed my arms staring up at Mrs. Hatch greeting the girl dressed in black. Her ocean eyes stared down onto the ground making sure to keep eye contact limited. The class was silent but I heard their hushed whispers “She is so weird”, “Hashtag basketcase”, “Did she even try to look decent?”. I snickered softly at their whispers, she made her way down the row of desks approaching me. She down next to me, she hadn’t realized what she did until the class gasped and whispers left all their lips. She looked up and scanned the class, before her eyes settled on me. I gave her a slight smile before looking ahead “I guess they didn’t tell you huh Ocean Eyes?” I said softly, the teacher began speaking to the class, I bit my bottom lip and looked back at her. She sat there with confusion written all over her face, I lifted up my index finger and motioned for her to come closer. I leaned to the side and so did she slowly “If you ever come near me, speak to me, or even look at me..I’ll beat your ass” I hissed, my voice was hushed but deadly, she leaned away from me immediately following my words and looked straight ahead “Tomorrow, I better find you in another seat far away from mine” I said leaning away from her, I cleared my throat and smirked. Her hands fidgeting nervously with the ends of her sleeves and her leg nervously jumped up and down. I wasn’t a mean person I actually think I’m a nice person, but only to certain people. “Nile Cale?” the teacher asked, I leaned forward settling my arms on the desk and plastered a fake smile on my face “Yes?” I answered, everyone’s eyes were on me but I wasn’t at all nervous, I met a girl’s eyes who sat a few seats in front of me and gave her a seductive wink and that made her melt right then and there. “ Why do you think people fall in love?” Mrs. Hatch asked me and I cringed at the last word, I sighed leaning back into my chair and shrugged “You tell me, you're the one with the diamond ring on your finger.I think it’s a complete waste of time. Why would you commit to one person when life has so much more to offer?” The teacher stood there not knowing how to answer my question, she nodded her head and looked away from me quickly changing onto the next subject.

2:15, I was out. The final bell rang, the students flooded out of the class quickly. I texted Adam to meet me at the south end exit. I swung my backpack over my shoulders as I stood up from my desk “Autumn? Do you mind staying? It’ll only be for a few moments” I looked over my shoulder and Ocean Eyes slowly stood up from her desk and nodded. She kept her head down as she made her way over to Mrs. Hatch. I turned my attention away from her and left the classroom. “Hey Nile!” someone hollered, I didn’t bother to look but I swiftly raised my hand and waved to whoever so desperately wanted my attention. “Hey” I said approaching Adam and Hunter, Adam stuck his football jersey inside of his locker along with his helmet. “What's up?” I asked leaning against the lockers, I eyed some of the cheerleaders from the opposite side of the hall, they all waved at me. “Well here Adam got caught getting sucked off by Hannah” I snapped my attention away from the cheerleaders and focused on Hunter’s statement, a smile crawled onto my face “Wait what?” I asked trying to hold back a snicker, Adam slammed his locker shut and nodded “I was underneath the bleachers with Hannah during my free period and I got caught. I literally stood there with my d**k in my hands” Adam said, irritation drowned his tone as we walked down the hall. “So what teacher caught you?” I asked puffing out the last of my laughs from my throat. We turned into stairwell and walked down the steps “Who do you think?” Hunter said in a hushed tone, I thought about it for a second before Bella came walking up the stairs as we made our way down “She is such a b***h” I choked out, it was a bit louder than I expected Bella stopped and turned to look at us but we didn’t bother to stop. We walked into another hallway leading down to the student parking lot “She is making me stay after with her, to hang up f*****g posters” Adam spat, I raised my eyebrows,and shook my head. She had some vendetta against Adam mostly because he picked on her ever since they were kids. I cleared my throat and sighed and pushed open the double doors leading into the parking lot. “Well, it can’t possibly take too long. We’ll wait” Hunter said, Adam shook his head and dug into his pocket for something “Don’t bother, I’m getting picked up by Brooke” Adam said with a cunning smile on his face, he pulled out his car keys as we approached his black CTS Cadillac. “Nile I’ll meet you back at your place probably around 7” Adam said, he grabbed my palm and pressed his car keys into it. I nodded my head, “Okay, so Nile’s place in a few hours?” Hunter asked, both me and Adam nodded, after that Hunter made his way to his car a few feet away from us and Adam jogged back into the school.

I laid on my bed begging for the time to go by faster. I looked over at the clock 3:34, I groaned. I sat up and grabbed my phone off of the night stand. I could masterbate, smoke weed, text some girl who has been begging me to f**k her. ‘Flora’s,now. Dickhead’. I smiled reading Roxy’s text as it popped up on my screen, she couldn’t stay mad at me and I couldn’t stay mad at her. I wanted her in my life, I’m just figuring out as what though was the hard part. I eagerly slid off my bed and grabbed Adam’s car keys and stepped out of my room. I walked down a narrow hall and down a six steps and entered the living room. “Go buy me a beer” I clenched my jaw hearing his voice, I didn’t bother looking at him as I walked passed the s**t show of a father I had, the smell if alcohol and cigarettes always lingered the air and it always seemed to remind me what kind of father he is. I hated my father, I hated him with a burning passion but I couldn’t do anything about it. All of my anger manifests from him.

As I pulled the door to Flora’s open, a bell rung. The air smelt like coffee and cinnamon, people sat with their books and coffee in their hands. The sound of people sipping their coffee and small talk wondered the air. The coffee shop had two levels and a patio outside, and a back room where people choose out their books, it was like a little library. I scanned the room searching for Roxy. Her brown eyes stopped my search and I smiled. She sat in a booth in the far corner on the first level, I made my way over to her and stopped as soon as I reached her table “Hey gorgeous” I said, she rolled her eyes and bit the corner of her upper lip. “Dickhead” She said, I slid into the booth and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, I swallowed hard as she rested her head on my shoulder. It was my way of saying sorry, a kind gesture that she always accepted “After my treatments, you got me my first wig. It was-” I smiled as she recalled the memory of after her long days of being diagnosed with leukemia. “It was a bright blue wig, it was right at shoulder length and I said, you never looked more alive and beautiful” I felt her smile, I turned to kiss the top of her head and she let out a relaxed sigh as her body melted more against mine. It’s been three years since the doctors told her and her dad that she was cancer free, but she never stopped wearing those wigs and drowning her face in makeup and it was all because of me. “You know, those wigs and all the makeup was just a coping mechanism. It wasn’t supposed to be permanent” I wasn’t trying to be harsh, but I missed her. The real her, I even forgot what she looked like underneath all that. “I know Nile..”  she said, I held her tightly. I cared about Roxy, but not in the way I was supposed to. We sat there for a while, I enjoyed having her company “I got the coffees Roxy, sorry it took so lon-” Her voice faded at the sight of me as she stood there awkwardly held a two coffees in her hand This girl again? How many times is she going to pop up?!. I clenched my jaw and groaned silently, Roxy lifted her head up to meet her new friend’s eyes “Autumn thanks, Is it okay if you give us some privacy?” She said slowly as if trying to rip of the emotional band-aid. Roxy reached over me and leaned over to grab the coffee from her friend’s hand. “Uh yeah, I-I’m sorry. I h-have to go anyway..I have umm c-chores and a d-dog to walk..” It was sad and pathetic how horrible of a liar she was, her face was completely filled with loneliness and sadness, I almost felt bad for her. Too bad I didn’t. I laughed to myself, and Roxy nudged my arm off of her shoulders. “Autumn, seriously you can stay..” Roxy pleaded, but Autumn had already grabbed her bag from the opposite side of the booth and swung it onto her shoulder “It’s fine Roxy, I’ll um.. I’ll see you at school tomorrow..bye” she didn’t bother to wait for Roxy’s response, she gently pushed passed people throwing her coffee away in the trash before she left the coffee shop, the sound of the bell lingered but disappeared as soon she was out of sight. I raised my eyebrows at her and licked my upper lip “That’s an interesting friend choice, Did f*******: send you a weird friend suggestion or something?” I took Roxy’s coffee from her grasps and slowly sipped on it. Roxy coughed out a laugh but she shook her head at me glaring slightly and grabbed her coffee from my lips “Don’t be so mean Nile. It’s her first day and Bella wanted me to show her around. I’ll drop her within a week when she finds other weird people to hangout with” I slid my body closer to Roxy and gazed into her brown eyes, I smiled slightly as she sipped softly on her coffee. “What? Don’t tell me you’re falling in love with me Nile Cale..” she joked putting her coffee down on the table, she placed her palms on my shoulders and sighed “Why did it have to be you?” she whispered softly, I eyed her facial features as they became serious, deep lines appeared on her forehead and her nose twitched. Something was stressing her mind, “What do you mean?” I asked, I already knew it was something serious, and I knew that I was going to hate it. “The first time you walked into my hospital room, you were 9. I asked you why you weren’t crying and you said you had to be strong for the both of us. That was when I fell in love with you” I clenched my jaw turning my body away from hers and pressed my back up against the booth. I couldn’t look at her, because I already knew what she was going to say, and if she saw my face and how I would react she would hate me even more than she does right now. “But a few years later, I had to learn that you would never feel the same way, That you would never love me or anyone. I accepted that..” She breathed out a sigh, and I closed my eyes feeling no remorse or sympathy. I am a heartless monster, I’ve known it for quite some time now. “I’m sorry Rox..” I opened my eyes and reached for her hand, I squeezed it. Not for me, but for her, I needed her to at least think that I was heartbroken about the fact that I couldn’t l*** her or anyone. I was glad even, I didn’t want to love anybody and nobody could change that.

“So, are you going to the back to school party Bella is hosting?” Roxy asked, we casually walked around the street. Not hand in hand, but as friends, the way it was supposed to be. I turned to look at her and laughed at the thought of Bella throwing a party, she once freaked out on me because I didn’t use a coaster at a school dance. “Isabella, the uptight b***h throwing a party?. I wonder what textbook she is gonna make us memorize” I said laughing, Roxy punched me in my arm and it was way harder than I anticipated, She shook her head and playfully rolled her eyes “Bella is my best friend don’t talk about her like that” I threw my hands up in defense and nodded. Bella was another interesting choice of a friend. Never in a hundred years would I imagine Roxy, the tatted up pothead be best friends with anti-fun student body president. “But it’s supposed to sophomores only and a tiny get together, but screw it. You’ll come right?” She fluttered her eyelashes at me and tugged on my arm, I rolled my eyes with a smirk on my face and nodded my head “Okay, but when is it?” I asked, going to crash a sophomore party seems a little stupid and petty but in the honor of pissing Bella off, I must keep the yearly tradition going. Last year at her freshman orientation I pulled the fire alarm as she welcomed herself and the rest of the freshmans to highschool. “Friday night, starts at 6 until we get shut down” I nodded my head hearing Roxy’s voice. I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close “You are definitely a one-of-a-kind b***h” I said looking down at her, she playfully took offense to it and buried her face into my chest and held it there before pulling away “And you Nile Cale are an asshole, with makeup all over your shirt. Your welcome.” I looked down at my shirt and her olive colored foundation, tiny specs of blush, and her blue eyeshadow made a messy imprint on my shirt. She pushed me away laughing, I shook my head at her as I stood there with my hands on my hips playfully disappointed. She grabbed my arm and tugged my alongside with her.

I looked at her as she slept peacefully naked. Her face was buried in her pillow, her back was exposed and the side of her breast was slightly visible. I pulled out my phone 10:54 was the time. I sat up from Roxy’s bed and searched the dark floor of her room for my clothes which she had ripped off my body a few hours earlier. The empty condom wrapper crinkled underneath my foot as I stepped on it. I didn’t have to worry about Roxy waking up, she was a heavy sleeper especially after s*x, and as for her parents her mom died when she was three and her dad is around when he wants to be, he is a good man but just not a good father. I still had the condom wrapped around my c**k, it felt suffocating, and I hated the feel of it but it was my best friend, without it I would’ve had at least twenty kids by now. I slipped it off, bent down picking up the wrapper, and walked over to the corner of her room and threw it out in her little trash bin. I spotted the words ‘Calvin Klein’ on the foot of her bed. I walked over, grabbing my boxers slipping them on. My shirt and pants were in a pile in front of her door, I slipped on my pants and buckled up my pants before slipping only my shirt. I sat down at the edge of her bed lacing up my boots and finally putting on my jacket. I held Adam’s keys and my phone in my palm, I stared at Roxy for a while before walking out of her room. I’m not the kind of guy who stays the night, I’ll watch you fall asleep, stare up at the ceiling for a while before leaving as quickly as I can.

“Took you long enough” His voice slurred as I walked back into my house, I shut the door behind me and threw Adam's keys onto a little table beside the door. He sat there in the dark with an empty green glass beer bottle in his hands. I smiled to myself at the thought of him sitting there waiting for me to bring him a beer for hours “Awe, did you really think I went out to get you a beer?” I said feeling bold, it was probably a mistake I realized this as he stood up from his chair and threw down the bottle. It smashed and the little green piece of glass glistened in the nude carpet. “Think you’re smart? Huh you little piece of s**t?” I sighed licking my lips and walked over to the kitchen not minding his drunken state at all, “Well considering you’re the one sitting in the dark actually waiting for me to get your lazy ass a beer, you waited what? Eight hours and some change?”  I walked over to the refrigerator and smirked as I saw two green heineken bottles completely filled. What a f*****g i***t. “I’d like to think I’m smarter than you, at least it’ll get me through high school” I said taking one of the beer bottles and shutting the refrigerator door behind me.  When I turned around the intoxicating smell of alcohol burned my nostrils. My father stood there, we stood at the same height and his eyes eyed me down. I didn't know what he look for in my eyes but he searched for a while “You're such a f**k up” His words burned my eyes, not emotional but physically the alcohol burned my eyes. “Yeah whatever” I said silently, I needed to get away from him. I tried to walk passed him but he threw my body against the refrigerator. I heard the bottles within the fridge crash. He held me by my collar, I wasn't scared of him..not at all. His hands trembled as he held me there. I held up my hands in defense bringing up the beer bottle and dangling it in front of him. Like a dog, he'll take the bait. He looked at me, at the beer bottle, then back at me contemplating on whether he should beat my ass. Like a dog, he took the beer bottle. He turned away from me and I crossed my arms over my chest “If only your daughter could see you now” I spat, I already knew what came next and I was far from the point of return. “Where is she you prick..” I kept my voice in a low intimidating voice, or least I tried. A part of me hoped that he would answer me, but I knew he wasn't going to. He tightened his grip on the beer bottle, and turned around around slowly. He raised the beer bottle over his head and sent it crashing down. That's the last image I was able to make out before everything went black.

          I stumbled into my room, shutting the door behind me. I fell down onto my hands and knees and laughed softly coughing up the blood that drowned in my mouth. At first all I felt was pain, then it became numbness..emotionally and physically. I breathed heavily crawling over to my bed, gripped the sheets, and pulled them off of the bed. I piled up the blanket and laid on it. The coldness of the floorboards cooled my bruised and tarnished skin. I closed my eyes, knowing Charlie was in a safe place was all I needed to keep me sane. After however long of laying on the ground, I was able to sit up despite the pain screaming throughout my body, I shook the tiny pieces of green glass out of my hair and peeled off my shirt that stuck to my skin, blood acting as the glue. I threw it aside and laid back onto the floor. I thought about calling Adam, but I didn't want to be a bother. It was close to midnight and he was probably in bed asleep..with his perfect family, in his perfect house, just overall his perfect life. I was grateful for Adam and what his family has done for me, but sometimes I couldn’t talk to Adam about half the s**t I have to face he just wouldn’t understand. Roxy and...a girl who shall not be named understood what it was like to grow up in a temporary place, with no love. So I laid there, on the cold floorboards, drowning in my own pool of blood, and completely numb to the agonizing pain.