Freak (Book 1)

2

                                                                                  Nile

      "Holy s**t, her ass is huge. Did you get her number?" These f*****g idiots. Slowly and reluctantly, I opened my heavy eyelids and groaned feeling the sunlight as it penetrated through my black curtains and onto my face. I rolled onto my back, holding a hand up in front of my eyes to get a clear view of the field show in my room.

    "Morning sleeping beauty" Adam said softly batting his eyelids at me he was sitting on the edge of my bed, milk poured down his chin as he devoured a bowl of cereal, I tightened up my jaw

       "Ah, looks like someone had an AMAZING night" He emphasized 'amazing'. Glancing over at Hunter who was comfortably sitting in my bean bag chair,  snickered lightly at the comment. I turned to look and there was a tent in my sweatpants. 

      "Morning wood, so what?" Hunter joked "Ugh!" I grunted and grabbed my pillow from my bed and chucked it across the room at Hunter. I lowered my hand, uncovering my face. I blinked a few times, closed my eyes, and finally blinked again. I needed to get the sleepiness out of my system and get my eyes used to the exposure of sunlight. I sat up from my bed rubbing my face with my palms and sighing deeply into them 

      "What happened last night?" I groaned, Flashes of beer pong, spin the bottle, and naked girls erupted from my mind like turning on your phone and having notifications blowing it up. Hunter and Adam both looked at each other snickering.  They looked back at me and their snickers died down "Well you slept with Brooke '' I shrugged hearing Adams' words, I stood up from my bed stretching out my arms. I went straight to my phone which was in charge of my cluttered desk.

      "Okay.." I let out a light chuckle as I pulled out my phone from its charging cord and leaned against my computer desk "Also Samantha" Hunter added,I coughed up slightly and furrowed my eyebrows looking at their faces. I nodded my head coming to terms with my drunken actions 

      "You also lost two hundred dollars in strip poker to Daniel" Hunter said softly and hesitantly. I hung my head low and shook my head

       "Jesus Christ, Were you guys not looking out for me?" I closed my eyes ,I need to seriously stop drinking.As an odd silence invaded my room,lifting my head up I saw both Hunter and Adam staring at me,At this point I couldn't care less about what I had done the night before I bit my upper lip and stared at them

 "What's done,is done-" I turned on my phone and the white apple appeared on the screen 

      "I will learn from my actions,and this will never happen again" f*****g lies, I'll be in the same position in two days. I chuckled to myself softly, and took a deep relaxing sigh as I read the first message that appeared on my screen 

      'After the amazing time we had last night. It really did confirm everything between us.I know we are going to last forever.I love you too Nile' From Madison 3:56 PM. I stared at the screen with wide eyes as my lips started to breathe out swear words 

      "You had s*x with Maddie and told her you loved her!" I clenched my jaw, as Hunter and Adam spat at the words quickly, in unison. I tossed my phone onto the computer desk and laughed in denial 

      "No I didn't say that,I wouldn't say that!" I said it to the girl who has been trying to claim me as her ‘boyfriend’ since the fifth grade. She is the most well known girl here. Don't get me wrong she is hot, but I don't love anyone, I'm not going to restrict myself like that. I live life with regrettable life choices, thrill, and adventure. 

      "Adam were the f**k were you?Hunter??? " Hunter put his hands up in defense and backed up against the bean bag chair "Woah, woah, woah. I am not your babysitter. Me and Adam  tried to get you out of there multiple times, but you refused" I waved my hand in front of me trying to wave my mistakes away knowing that I'm going to have to pay for them sooner or later.I shook my head refusing to believe that I let myself get this drunk.

       “Remember that time you had s*x with Maddie..in my bed!" Adam gave me a disgusted look and scoffed crossing his arms 

      "Oh f**k you Adam, We only did that one time" Nope. It was twice. Adam doesn’t need to know about the second time. Adam narrowed his eyes at me and stuck up his middle finger 

   "Piss off Nile.." He hissed. I nodded my head at his comment 

      "Both of you can go f**k yourselves!" I spat, Hunter shot up from the bean bag chair and put his hands on his chest "Me? I didn't do anything wrong! f**k you Nile..",After that we had a 'f**k you' fight for a little bit before I was interrupted by a knock on my door "Everyone shut the f**k up!" I yelled but in a hushed tone,I eyed both Adam and Hunter and cleared my throat changing my raspy deep tone into a light one 

      "Come in..". The door opened slowly,the light that had been emitting in my room had spilled outside into the dark hallway and blinding the eyes of a five year old child.

 "Nilly?" a soft voice said, a tiny stature emerged from the door frame. He was wearing my rolling stones t-shirt, it looked like a dress on him.  The back of his hands rubbed his eyes as a yawn escaped his lips affecting the whole room. I yawned out softly before walking up to him 

      "Hey there Char.. Did I wake you"? I knelt in front of him and pulled his hands away from his eyes so I could get a full view of his chubby face. He opened up his eyes at me. I pushed his golden locks away from his field of vision. He nodded softly and I engulfed his body in a tight hug then glared up at Adam and Hunter who was at fault. I pressed a kiss on top of his head and pulled away but kept him at an arm's length "I'm sorry I wasn't able to tuck you in last night. I got home late. Did Marc or mom give you anything to eat?" He shook his head slowly and blinked his eyes at me not knowing the dark world he lived in. I sighed deeply frustrated and stood up. Charlie clung to my leg as if scared to let go. Charlie is my half brother. Five years ago my so called father Marc fooled around with some c***k w***e and she got pregnant with Charlie. A few months after he was born she left him at our doorstep, she was never to be seen again. I don't want him to grow up like I did having to come home to a loveless and cold environment. I thought about my father. He neglected me and now Charlie. I can't have him grow up here,I can’t have him grow up to be like me f****d up and heartless.I looked around my room to see if I had anything he could eat Brownies! I smiled and wobbled over slowly with Charlie still clinging on to my leg to the brownies that were in a plastic bag 

      "Ahem..Edibles" Adam coughed holding his fist in front of his mouth and motioned to the brownies.My eyes widened and looked back at the brownies then shook my head and started to browse around my room once again. A few cigarette buds in an ashtray and a few scattered around the room and a half eaten pizza that's been there since July in a pizza box sitting on the windowsill.     

        "Kiddo,go look in the kitchen I'm pretty sure I saw some food" Hunter interrupted my search I looked down at Charlie who slipped his tongue out of his mouth Hunter gave him a wink,Charlie glowed up and smiled before releasing my leg and running out of my room his lite feet made a soft tapping noises against the hardwood floor,I waited until they completely faded away before taking the smile off of my face and taking a deep sigh.I ran my hand through my hair and turned away placing my palms on my computer desk 

      "I'll pay you back.." I said in a low tone,I hate having people do things for me. They are always expecting something in return.A gesture is never genuine.I clenched my fists around the edge of my desk,I could feel my heart rate increase and my palms getting sweaty against the hardwood. 

      "Don't worry about it besides, he's my boy. He likes me way better than you. It's the least I can do to relieve your heart from heartbreak" My tensed up body relaxed and I let out a light chuckle before releasing the desk and turning around to face them,they were both smiling at me,they didn't need to say anything else I was calm. They were my best friends, they were f*****g idiots but they knew me, they knew how to calm me down. I held up my middle finger looking at the both of them as a sign of good will, they both chuckled, I took a deep breath before leaving my room and heading to the bathroom.I took a cool shower to relieve my body from a rising hangover,as I stood here underneath the freezing water I pressed my forehead against the tiles,I just stood there lost in my train of thought.I wrapped a towel around my waist and stared at at myself in the mirror. All I saw was anger, sadness, madness. Everything that was wrong with me would always bring out the worst of me. "Nile hurry up, we have to go!” Hunter’s violent bangs on the door shocked me out of my thoughts and back to this shitty reality.

I leaned against the wall as I reached the bottom of the stairs. His legs dangled off the kitchen stool as he devoured a chicken nugget drowning in ketchup, the kitchen table was littered in groceries and Mcdonald bags. “You dumbfuck..” I rolled my eyes and shook my head hearing Adam and Hunter bicker in the living room. I approached Charlie moving to the opposite side of the kitchen built in table. Our kitchen was basic and simple brown cabinets with eggshell countertops, our refrigerator made a quiet roaring sound throughout the day but you can especially hear it at night. 

      “Hey chocolate factory” I stood across from him and gave him a smirk, he stuck his tongue out at me and it was covered in chicken nugget bits

       “Nilly” he said putting down the chicken nugget and looked into my eyes with those eyes, the only eyes that could melt my heart 

      “Mom is going to take you to Ms.Kayer’s for a few days” I scratched the back of my neck. He hated  when I made him stay at other people’s houses. His toddler eyes glistened with soon to be tears and he pouted at me. Charlie pushed himself out from underneath the table.

       “You always leave me,I hate you!” He screamed, I was a bit taken back. I had never seen him blow up like this. He is a sweet and bubbly kid. He jumped down from the stool as more tears streamed down his cheeks

       “Charlie!” I tried to grab him but he avoided my grasp and ran upstairs, presumably back to my sleeping mother. I sighed deeply, my whole mood worsened within seconds 

      “Hey, My mom loves Charlie, she is going to take care of him. I’ll be there to check up on him” Hunter’s words didn’t mean s**t to me, I knew Charlie was in good hands but he wasn’t with me

       “Just shut the f**k up Hunter” I groaned I walked away from the kitchen counter and walked into the living room trying to recollect myself. My living room had no color coordination whats so ever, there was a green chaise armchair that had a coffee stain on the left arm, there was a yellow loveseat with a  large rainbow knitted blanket that my grandmother made for my mother when she was pregnant with me, then there was the black leather recliner chair some of the leather was ripping off the chair. The cup holder served as an ashtray with many cigarette buds inside and beer bottles and cans littered the base of the chair.I f*****g hated that chair, I wanted to set it on fire. In the center of it all was a flatscreen, the only thing my father invested time in was getting this four thousand dollar TV. I was excited when he first bought that TV, it was the only thing that brought the family together. Adam and Hunter sat down in the yellow loveseat still bickering, I sat in the green armchair and leaned forward, I watched the door out of the corner of my eye, reminded me of so much times my mother or my friends walked in on me getting a b*****b some girls I got to latch onto me. The loveseat was facing away from the door and I tend to forget to lock the door..good times. But this time I was making sure we left before the devil came home.

       “What are you idiots fighting about this time?” I asked looking away from the door, I leaned back into the chair and relaxed a bit. Adam shook his head at Hunter and groaned looking at me

       “Hunter here, ran from the cops last night and hid drugs in Maddie's locker ”, I took a deep breath and smiled a bit not wanting to believe the idiocy that invaded the air of the living room. 

      “You f*****g i***t” I breathed softly while letting out a few laughs “Hunter, we can’t keep getting caught like this, Do you know how many times Maddie has had to cover for us. I’m tired of bringing her into this” I hated involving people in my life, especially the stupid but good-hearted ones. With Maddie, yes she is clingy, annoying, entitled rich-b***h, manipulative but I care for her and if anything were to happen to her Adam would kill me. 

      “Watch out there, sounds like you may actually love her” Adam remarked, I shook my head and looked away from the both of them “But he is right, no more involving Maddie or anyone else for that matter" I looked back at Adam. I chewed on a piece of dead skin on my upper lip before nodding at him 

      “Yeah deal”. I stood up and grabbed my worn out black jacket from the coat rack and slipped it on

       “What’s with you and the color black?” Adam joked, as he and Hunter made their way to the door. I stopped midway of putting my jacket on and shrugged, smiling 

   “It's an elegant color ” I joked, pulling the jacket over my shoulders and walked through the open door Hunter held for me and they both followed.

      Ocean Eyes and beat up converse. My first impression of the girl dressed in all black. She was no rebel like me, she dressed in a melancholic tone. Her ocean eyes pleaded for help, but the all black outfit signified no hope. Who was this girl?

      I pushed her out of my way, sending her body to hit the wall, my smile faded away from my lips as Maddie clung onto my arm as we turned the corner “Nice shoes???” “Did you see the look on her face? She actually took it as a compliment?” “Poor thing pulled out her schedule” The girls remarked, I felt Maddie’s eyes burn on my skin I looked down at the red-headed beauty and shrugged her grasp off of me and smiled widely

       “What?” I said softly but a bit annoyed, the last thing I wanted her to do was react to what my drunk self said to her. Her eyes beamed up at me before grabbing my wrist and stopping me. I sighed softly and cleared my throat as the rest of the group stopped as well 

      “We’ll meet you at the bleachers'' Adam and Hunter gave me a look as they continued to walk down the hall with the girls. Maddie took me by both of my hands s**t is she going to propose?, I’ll just tune her out and when she is done I’ll kiss her and tell her she is the only one for me.Fuck I am a monster 

    “Nile, after last night which was amazing. I want us to be together. No other girls, Nile please. You love me and-” I yanked my hands out of her grasps and shook my head infuriated and turned away from her 

      “I was drunk Maddie, wasted out of my mind. How stupid can you be to actually think I could say something in a drunk state and think I actually meant it” I breathed out a laugh and turned around to meet her green eyes once again and it glistened with fresh tears. She stood there with all happiness drained out of her and formed a puddle at her feet, she held her Christian Louboutin  purse with loose fingers at her side. f**k. 

      “Madison..” I reached for her but she pulled away nodding her head, she carefully tapped her tears away making sure not to ruin her elegant makeup. She didn’t say anything else. She stared at me for a little bit before walking off. I listened to the click of her heels as she made her way down the hall, then they disappeared in the distance. I’m a bad person, No. I’m a shitty person. But she knew all of this, she still wanted to get involved with me, and she wanted to fix me so she can show me off like a damn trophy. 

      “Way to go..” a familiar voice said, I rolled my eyes and nodded my head laughing and looked up to see a good friend.

       “Are you always spying on me Rox?” She appeared from the corner and leaned up against the lockers shaking her head at me. If I were a girl, I would be Roxanne. She is my female alter-ego. She was one of the girls I screwed around with that I still talk to. I’ve known her since 5th grade, we had a fling when she entered high school as a freshman and I was a sophomore. 

      “No, you just make your business known, especially in an echoey hallway. Practically begging for paparazzi darling” I smiled making my way over to her. She leaned her body up against the lockers and gazed at me with those daring brown eyes of hers. f**k she was hot. 

      “You can take pictures of me any time you want” I stopped a few inches away from her face. Luckily she wasn't wearing her usual platform shoes. I peaked down into her black metallica shirt and into her breasts 

      “Nile you are a poison that I can no longer inject myself with” She put a hand on my chest and shoved me away, I backed up a few feet away from her she teasingly bit her  upper lip, pushed herself off of the lockers and slowly walked up to me 

      “Oh Rox-” I said laughing, she stopped in front of me and I smiled placing my hand on her waist keeping her from getting away from me “You wouldn’t be the one doing the injecting” She let out a surprised chuckle and smiled up at me nodding her head. She placed her hands on my face and gently tugged on my eyebrow piercing going through my left eyebrow “I could’ve done this piercing for you..” she said softly, I backed up until my back hit the lockers and her body pressed up against me. I looked into her eyes and nodded. I hated this s****l tension I just wanted to f**k her right here, right now.

      “Last time, I let you pierce my ears and I ended up getting an infection” I joked she brought her face closer to mine practically begging me to f**k her 

      “Now look at you, rocking two diamond studs like a bad b***h” She teased, that made us both laugh. I felt normal with her, she didn’t make me feel as though I needed her or her money. I knew things about Roxanne she didn’t tell anyone else. 

      “Be with me Rox” I said bluntly and her whole face had changed. I couldn’t read her emotions. The words kinda spilled out but a part of me meant it, the other part just wanted to see her reaction. She reached down and ripped my hands off of her waist and backed up away from me.

       “No way Nile, stop f*****g doing that” She crossed her arms over her breasts and pressed her lips together out of frustration.

      “Rox we are perfect together, I honestly don’t think I see myself with anyone else. You’re honestly the only person I can bear to be with” She rolled her eyes, and I was a bit taken back. I thought she would feel the same way. Okay, maybe I expected her to completely melt at my words, but she knows me too well to fall for this bullshit.

       “Nile, I love you. You are the guy I lost my virginity to-” A smile crept onto my lips as her words flowed out of her mouth and hope started to build up. 

      “But the way you treat women is absolutely disgusting. I have no interest in being with someone who I know is going to hurt me in the long run. Nile you aren’t ready for a commitment, but when you are I hope you find someone who loves you for you and not just for the bad boy reputation” she kicked the hope out of my stomach and stomped the s**t out of my heart, I looked away from her shaking my head. She is right, I would hurt her. I ruin everything I touch. I opened my mouth to say something but she shook her head at me signaling to keep quiet 

      “You aren’t a bad boy, and I can’t be with you because you’re hiding the real you underneath all the tattoos and alcohol. Nile I love you so much and-” I raised my eyebrows at her and pushed my body off of the lockers and walked up to her slowly.How the hell is she going to sit here and try to pull a Dr.Phil on me as if her life is f*****g perfect? She has some damn nerve.

        “Me? I’m hiding? Says the one hiding underneath her wigs and all the makeup” A soft laugh escaped her lips, she opened her mouth but no words came out she hung her mouth open for a while looking for something to say. Her gentle brown eyes turned black,she narrowed her eyes at me, and spoke in a hushed tone “You’re going to die alone and miserable Nile” her words snaked into my soul and bit it. With that I watched another girl walk away from me completely distraught and would now drag my name through the dirt.