Alpha's Broken Luna's Heart

I opened my window and pressed my palm flat against the cool glass, watching the pack gathering outside. Laughter floated up, bright and careless, the kind of sound that belonged to people who knew exactly where they fit in the world. I didn't know how I would fit in that. "You're brooding again," Mia announced, kicking my door open with her hip. "Silvia said if you don't get your ass downstairs in the next five minutes, she's going to tell Steven you have a crush on him." Steven, our Alpha Derek’s son. The heir of our Silvercrest pack. I spun around, horrified. "I do not have a crush on Steven. He's arrogant and hot headed, who makes those terrifying—" Mia waved a dismissive hand. "Details. The point is, you're hiding, and it's pathetic." Her voice softened, the teasing edge fading. "Amber. It's a full moon. Everyone's already down there. Even the elders are celebrating the mating moment." I turned back to the window, and my reflection stared back at me. A girl with blue eyes and dark hair, wearing a simple blue dress my uncle Marcus had bought me two summers ago. "I wasn't hiding. I was... gathering my thoughts." "Gathering your thoughts." Mia snorted, flopping onto my bed, grabbing my pillow. "You sound like an old grandma." "I would be an excellent grandma." I laughed. She threw a pillow at my head. I caught it without turning around and tossed it back. She caught it with a yelp of laughter that warmed something cold in my chest. "How's the dress fitting?" I asked, changing the subject as I reached for my brush. "For the mating ceremony?" Her face lit up instantly. "Almost done. Three more fittings and I think it'll be perfect. I added these tiny pearls along the bodice.” A knock interrupted her, and Silvia poked her head through the doorway with an expression of despair. Her dark curls were pulled back in a hasty ponytail, and there was a smudge of something purple on her cheek. "There you are. Both of you. I've been standing by the dessert table for fifteen minutes pretending I have a reason to be there. You know how many people have asked me about both of you to ask about some specific surgeries? At a party." "Maybe you should stop telling people we're studying to be a doctor," Mia suggested. "My friends are training to be a doctor, doing clinical rotations, basically saving lives. Why shouldn't I tell them?" Silvia pouted. “We all know how extraordinary work Amber is doing in this field.” I laughed despite the knot in my stomach, the one that always tightened on full moon nights. We should have been getting ready together, the three of us, fussing over dresses and hair and which warrior was most likely to make a fool of himself trying to impress the visiting pack members. Normal girl things. Wolf things. But I wasn't normal. I hadn't shifted. Not once. Not ever. My wolf was invisible inside me, just a presence I could feel, a heartbeat beneath my own, but one that had never broken through. At sixteen, my eyes had changed. One moment they'd been plain brown and the next they'd flickered to a strange blue-green that made my uncle Marcus drop his jaw in shock. Everyone had waited. Watched. Whispered. And waited some more. Years later, I was still waiting. Sometimes I felt I would never shift. Mia noticed my face and bounced off the bed and grabbed my hands, her palms warm and smooth. "Listen. It's going to be fine. It's just another full moon. You'll drink too much punch, I'll flirt with someone inappropriate, Silvia will lecture everyone about fated mates, and we'll all go home happy. No pressure. No expectations." "No mate, either," I said quietly. The fated mate every wolf craved, the bond that was supposed to be sacred and beautiful and world-altering. I'd spent the last three full moons watching my packmates find their other halves, watching their faces transform with wonder and recognition and joy. I'd felt nothing. Just the same restless ache, the same hollow space where my wolf should have been. Mia squeezed my hands harder. "Then whoever the Moon Goddess has planned for you is an i***t, and I'll bite them myself." "Speaking of idiots," Silvia said, her voice suddenly tight, "I saw Brianna earlier. She's wearing a dress that's basically body paint and telling everyone she's going to be the next Luna." Of course she was. Brianna was Steven's girlfriend, the pack's unofficial princess, a girl with beautiful red hair and a smile that could make guys fall for her. But she'd made it her personal mission to remind me, at every opportunity, exactly where I stood in the pack's hierarchy. I was nothing compared to others because I hadn't shifted yet. "Let her talk," I said, even as my stomach twisted. "It's not like she's wrong. She and Steven have been together for months. Everyone expects it." "They are together just because neither has found their mate yet. Steven is still waiting for his mate, and the moment he finds his true match, he will leave Brianna. I have heard him talking about this with his friends.," Silvia muttered. I didn't argue. But I also didn't correct her. Because whatever Brianna was, whatever cruel games she liked to play, the truth was simple: Steven was the future Alpha. He was powerful and gorgeous and so far out of my league. I didn't crave to be with him. If he wanted Brianna, he'd have her. And I'd keep being the pack's resident anomaly, the wolf who couldn't shift, the girl who didn't quite belong. "Come on." I forced a smile, linking my arms through both of theirs. "Let's go before the actual ceremony starts." We made our way down the winding staircase of the pack house, our footsteps echoing on the old wood. Uncle Marcus had tried so hard. He'd given me a room, a home, a place at his table. He'd told me stories about my parents until his voice went hoarse and his eyes went glassy. He knew something was wrong with me. He gave me everything. But he couldn't give me my wolf. No one could. Outside, the celebration was in full swing. The clearing was packed with pack members, their voices rising and falling like music. Children darted between the adults, their laughter sharp and bright. The warriors had started a drinking game near the bonfire, and someone was already losing badly, his face red and his companions howling with laughter. It should have been perfect. Beautiful. Everything a full moon celebration was supposed to be. But the moment I stepped into the crowd, I felt it. I didn't belong here. Nico spotted me from across the clearing and raised his glass in greeting. He'd been an excellent warrior of our pack. "He's waving," Mia hissed in my ear. "Wave back. Don't be weird." "I'm not being weird—" "You're standing there like a statue. Wave. Wave your hand." I waved. His smile widened, and he turned back to his conversation. "See?" Mia looked triumphant. "Normal interaction. You're doing great." Silvia went silent for a second and then she said, "We don't know that. She might be human. Statistically speaking—" I elbowed her in the ribs, and she cackled. The sound drew attention. I felt it like a prickle on my skin, a sudden awareness of eyes turning toward us. My heart gave an uncomfortable lurch, and I resisted the urge to shrink back, to make myself smaller. And then I heard it. The laughter. The familiar, mocking laughter that made my blood run cold. "Well, well. Are you going to shift this time or not?" Brianna emerged from the crowd, her dress shimmering under the lantern light. It was deep red, dangerously low-cut, the kind of dress that screamed look at me. And people did. They always did. Behind her, Brad sauntered along with a smirk that made me want to throw something at his head. He was Steven's best friend and Brianna's too. Brad, Being a wolf with more muscles than brain cells and a deep, inexplicable hatred for anyone who didn't fit his narrow definition of worthy. "I'm surprised you bothered," he continued, stopping a few feet away. His gaze swept over my simple dress with obvious disdain. "Since there's no point in you being here. You can't run. You can't hunt. You can't even feel the moon." Brianna tilted her head, feigning sympathy. "It must be so lonely. Being nothing." I felt Mia stiffen beside me, felt Silvia's hand tighten on my arm. But I'd been dealing with them for years. I'd learned to take the hit and hit back harder. "I'm studying to be a doctor," I said, keeping my voice even. "So if you ever manage to trip over your own ego, I'll be happy to patch you up." Someone nearby snorted. Brad's smirk flickered. Brianna's eyes narrowed. "Careful, Amber. You might have the Alpha Derek's favor, but that doesn't make you one of us. It just makes you a charity case he'll get tired of eventually." "Speaking of charity," Silvia cut in, her voice bright and poisonous, "I love what you've done with yourself to date the heir. Did you lose a bet?" Mia choked on a laugh. Brianna's perfectly glossed lips pressed into a thin line. "At least I know I will become Luna," she snapped. "Unlike some people who'll spend the rest of their lives in scrubs, patching up warriors who actually contribute to this pack." "Better scrubs than spreading my ego to hurt others," I said. Her face went pale with rage, and Brad stepped forward, his eyes flashing wolf-gold. "Watch your mouth," he growled. "You're nothing but a—" Suddenly he stopped. And then I felt him. Steven. Power rolled across his every movement. It crawled over my skin, sank into my bones, made my wolf stir with something that felt terrifyingly belonging. No, I thought wildly. No, no, no… Steven stepped through the crowd, and people parted for him. He was tall and dangerously handsome. His dark hair was slightly mussed, and his jaw was shadowed with stubble. But it was his eyes that caught me, held me, made my heart stutter and stop. They were blue. The color of a sky about to break open. And they were fixed directly on me. "Brad." His voice was low, almost lazy, but it carried effortlessly. "Back off." Brad hesitated, his wolf-gold eyes flickering between me and his future Alpha. "Steven, she—" "I said back off." The command was quiet. Absolute. Brad stepped back like he'd been shoved, his face flushing with humiliation. Brianna recovered faster than her boyfriend's best friend. She pressed herself against Steven's side, her hand sliding up his chest delicately. "Baby, you don't need to waste your time on her. She's not worth it." He didn't look at her. His gaze stayed on me, stormy and unreadable, and I felt it. Like he was looking through every wall I'd ever built. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I could barely stand. His scent hit me then, pine and woodsmoke and something darker, something that made my wolf pace and whine. It was everywhere. It was inescapable. It was the most intoxicating thing I'd ever experienced, and I hated it. I hated it because it wasn't fair, because he was looking at me like I was a problem. He didn't want to get involved, because her hands were still on him and I wanted to scream at her to get off. He wasn't mine. Stop it, I commanded my wolf. Stop it right now. She didn't listen. She never did. But tonight, she was worse. Tonight, she was restless. Hungry. Desperate in a way I'd never felt before. The moon rose higher. The pack gathered in a wide circle around the bonfire, their faces tilted toward the sky. It was time for the shift, time for everything I couldn't do. I should have stepped back. Should have retreated like I always did, watching from the shadows as my packmates transformed and disappeared into the forest. But I couldn't move. Steven's gaze held me pinned, and something was building inside me, something huge and terrible and inevitable. "Mia," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "Something's wrong." "What do you mean?" Her face creased with concern. "Amber, you're pale. Really pale. Sit down—" "I can't." My skin felt too tight, my blood too hot. My wolf thrashed inside me, clawing at something I couldn't name, something that had been locked away for nineteen years. Let me out, she demanded. Let me OUT. I gasped. My knees buckled. Mia caught my arm, her voice sharp with alarm. "Amber? What happened?!" Pain. White-hot, blinding, world-ending pain. It ripped through me like lightning, like fire, like my body was being unmade and remade all at once. I heard someone screaming—was it me? It might have been me. My spine arched, my bones shifted, my skin stretched and reformed. And then there was fur. White fur. Brilliant and glowing white fur that seemed to capture the moonlight and throw it back tenfold. The screaming stopped. The chanting stopped. Everything stopped. I stood on four legs in the center of the clearing, my breath coming in ragged pants, my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in my teeth. The world looked different from this angle. It looked sharper, brighter, more alive. Every scent was a symphony. Every sound was so clear. And everyone was staring at me. "Impossible," someone breathed. "That's... that's not possible." "White wolf," another voice whispered, trembling with something that might have been fear or awe or both. "A white wolf. She's….. moon-touched." The words rippled through the crowd like wildfire. Moon-touched. Moon-touched. I'd heard the legends….A wolf blessed by the Moon Goddess herself, marked with fur the color of moonlight, gifted with power that hadn't been seen in generations. It was a myth. Something that happened to other packs in other times. Not to me. Not to the girl who couldn't shift. But here I was, four legs and white fur and a wolf that was finally, finally free. When Alpha Derek realized I was Moon-touched, he looked as ecstatic as if he had found a hidden treasure. Meanwhile, a wave of satisfaction washed over my uncle Marcus, who was also the pack's Beta, as though he knew exactly that things would turn out this way. I turned my head….goddess, everything moved so differently, and my gaze found the one person I hadn't been able to stop thinking about. Steven. He was staring at me. His face had gone pale, his eyes wide with shock and something else, something I couldn't name. The power I'd felt radiating from him earlier was nothing compared to this electric, magnetic pull that yanked at my very soul. And then it happened. Our eyes met. Wolf to wolf. The bond felt like a golden cord wrapping around my heart and pulling tight. I felt him, his shock, his fury, his desperate, clawing denial. He was in my head and I was in his, and there was nothing either of us could do to stop it. No... The thought wasn't mine. It was his. A single word, sharp as a blade, cutting through the bond. No... Not her. That's not possible. I saw his face through my wolf's eyes, saw the way his expression twisted with disbelief and fury. His hands clenched at his sides. His jaw tightened. Brianna's voice cut through the silence, high and shrill. "Steven? Steven, what's happening? Why is everyone looking at her? Steven!" He didn't answer. He just stood there, his eyes locked on mine, radiating loathing so intense it made my wolf whimper. My mate hated me. My mate, the future Alpha, the son of the man who had been kinder to me than anyone, hated me. And I was moon-touched. A white wolf. A miracle that felt more like a curse. The moon hung above us, silent and beautiful, offering no answers. Around me, the pack erupted into chaos, but I barely heard them. All I could hear was the echo of his thought, replaying over and over in my head like a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding. Not her. Anyone but her. Too late, I thought. Too late for both of us.