Alpha's Broken Luna's Heart

I truly enjoy fulfilling my duties and spending my time at this pack's hospital. At least here, between these sterile white walls, I had purpose. Here, I was simply Amber the healer, Amber the doctor, not the unwanted mate, not the moon-touched burden everyone seemed determined to exploit. I pressed my hands against the old warrior’s chest, letting the familiar warmth bloom beneath my palms. The golden light filtered through my fingertips, knitting together the torn muscles from his hunting accident. This was what my gift was meant for healing, helping, easing pain. "Thank you, Dr. Amber," The old man murmured, his weathered face relaxing as the pain ebbed away. "You're a blessing to this pack." A blessing. I managed a smile, though it felt fragile as spun glass. "Rest now. You'll be good as new by morning." As I turned to update his chart, a familiar female voice cut through the quiet like a blade. "Must be nice, playing doctor while your mate warms someone else's bed." Brianna. Of course. I didn't look up from my notes, keeping my hand steady even as my heart clenched. "Did you need something, Brianna? Medical assistance? Or are you just here to prove you have nothing better to do?" She laughed, that cruel, tinkling sound that somehow always found the softest parts of me to pierce. "Just bringing in supplies. Though I have to say, Amber, I almost feel sorry for you." She leaned against the doorframe, examining her perfectly manicured nails. "Imagine being someone's fated mate and having them look right through you. How does that feel? Knowing the Moon Goddess herself chose you, and he still wants nothing to do with you?" Don't react. Don't give her the satisfaction. But my mind betrayed me, dragging me back to that night a year ago. When my wolf appeared for the first time after years of waiting. I had been waiting for her to fully appear since I turned sixteen but I didn't shift. However I could feel her. I started to feel the power and strength in me shifting every time I felt my wolf. I knew after a while that I was different. My eyes colour changed suddenly when I turned sixteen from brown to a hint of blue and green. Last year I finally had shifted to my wolf form. I was a white wolf. A moon touched wolf.. The Lunar Gathering, where the full moon hung heavy and silver in the sky. I'd felt it before I'd seen him that pull, that smell, that every wolf dreams of feeling. The mate bond was pulling me towards him. And then I saw Steven's face. The horror. The revulsion. The absolute rejection in his eyes as he stared at me like I was something diseased, something that had contaminated him with my very existence. "You?" he said, the single word dripping with such disdain that I physically flinched. "No. No, this is a mistake. This can't be—I won't—" He tried to reject me right there, in front of everyone. Had opened his mouth to speak the words that would sever the bond, would free him from the joke of being tied to someone like me. But Alpha Derek had stopped him, had pulled him aside with a grip that promised consequences. I hadn't heard their conversation, but I'd seen Steven's face when they returned. Fury. Pure, undiluted fury. Directed entirely at me, as if I'd somehow orchestrated this, as if I'd chosen to shackle myself to someone who looked at me with such hatred. I tried to understand why he didn't want me. But he never told me anything. I just cried at my destiny for having a mate who didn't want me. He just showed me how much he hated it. And I just loved him. I couldn't avoid the feelings I had for him. My wolf loved him so much despite his negligence. I loved him even if I tried to stop myself from loving him. My thoughts returned to the present. "I know Steven has other women," I said quietly, finishing my notes with deliberate care. "I'm not naive, Brianna. And I'm certainly not blind." "Other women?" Brianna's laugh grew sharper. "Honey, I've been in his bed three times this week alone. Does that count as 'other women' or should we use a different term? Preferred company?" She pushed off the doorframe, moving closer. I sighed deeply hearing her terrible choice of words. I could understand her frustration. She was with Steven but she couldn't be with him until I was no longer his mate. But it wasn't easy. I couldn't break our mating bond. I wished I could. All I could do was simply avoid him like he didn't matter to me. We were free from each other even if our bond still existed. It was decided by us already. She continued, "He tells me things, you know. About how the thought of touching you makes his skin crawl. About how he's counting down the days until he can reject this bond." Each word was meant to hurt me, and we both knew it. But I'd learned to let them not affect me. "Is there a point to this, Brianna? Because I have patients waiting." I said with a bored tone. "The point?" Her smile turned vicious. "The point is that you might be his mate, but you'll never be what he wants. You'll never be special to him." She wanted me to break. To cry, to rage, to give her something she could take back to Steven and laugh about. *Look how pathetic she is, how desperate, how weak.* But I'd cried all my tears a year ago. Now, there was just... this. This numb acceptance, this empty space where hope used to live. She didn't know that I had already decided to reject him. I had been just waiting for him to return from his training. Now he was back here in his pack, I would reject this bond. "You're right," I said, meeting her eyes finally. "I'm not special to him. I never will be. Are we done?" Something flickered across her face, disappointment, maybe, that I hadn't given her the reaction she craved. She huffed and turned away. "You're not even worth the effort," she muttered, stalking toward the supply room. I waited until she was gone before letting out the breath I'd been holding. My hands trembled slightly as I set down the chart. My friend Mia found me in the break room an hour later, staring at a cup of coffee I'd forgotten to drink. "You saw Brianna," she said. It wasn't a question. "She wanted to make sure I knew she'd been sleeping with Steven." I stirred the cold coffee absently. "In case I'd somehow missed it." "Amber..." Mia's voice carried that particular blend of pity and frustration that made my chest tight. "You don't have to put up with this. You could—" "Could what?" I looked up at her. "He's my mate, Mia. The Moon Goddess chose him for me. And even if she didn't, even if this bond didn't exist, what exactly are my options? Leave the pack? Go rogue? I'm a doctor, not a warrior. I wouldn't last a week out there." "You're also moon-touched. Any pack would be lucky to have you." "Any pack would want to use me, you mean." The words came out more bitter than I'd intended. "Just like here. Just like everyone wants to use me." Mia sat down across from me, her expression troubled. "You know what I heard?" She lowered her voice. "I heard Brianna's been trying to get Steven to mark her. Been practically throwing herself at him. But she knows it won't work. Not while you're his true mate." "Let her try." I pushed the coffee away. "I hope she succeeds. At least then she'd be stuck with him instead of me." "You don't mean that." Didn't I? Some days I wasn't sure what I meant anymore. Some days I woke up and forgot, just for a moment, that I would have someone else as my mate. “ I've already decided something,” I responded, biting my lower lip. “ Are you mad? You can't reject your mate, Amber,” Mia looked horrified. “ You know that you're not just any wolf. You are moon touched. Your bond with your mate is holding so much power and strength. If you reject him, you'll die.” I knew that and I was also horrified with this thought. I knew I couldn't survive rejecting him. That was why I had to endure this. My phone buzzed. Uncle's number. I almost ignored it, but the continued ring made me answer. "Amber." My uncle's voice cracked with something I'd rarely heard from him. Fear. " Prepare the emergency room. Now.” "Uncle Marcus, what happened? I'm at work—" "Now, Amber. The Alpha's in danger. This is critical." The line went dead. My hands had gone cold. Alpha Derek was in danger. Alpha Derek had been more than just my pack's leader. He'd been like a father I lost when I was six years old, when that rogue attack took both my parents and left me with nothing. The Alpha had loved me, though. He'd pulled me onto his lap at pack gatherings, taught me to track rabbits in the forest, celebrated every one of my achievements as if I were his own daughter. When I got into medical school, he'd thrown a party. When he had known about my true ability his pride had radiated like sunlight. And now he was dying.