Misery Is Sweet

Chapter 18 I need to talk

(((Warning Explicit Content Warning)))

Meika's POV

I can't contain my excitement because of our plans to run away together. My heart feels so full of love, that it might burst out of my chest.

I can't help but just day dream about the relief of running away with the one person I have had such strong feelings for, for so many years. This is the one thing I wanted for so long that now that I finally will have it, the intense feelings of love is slightly being contained in myself. I don't want to overwhelm or scare him away but there is a part of me that wants to not only tell him, but show him how crazy-in-love I really am for him.

Just the idea of wanting to tell him scares me, but there is a part of me called my heart, that thinks he feels the same.. Maybe I should head over to his room and talk with him about this again.. maybe do something more.. which I have been craving to try so many times. I have fantasized about what him and I could have mentally but also physically, time and time again.

I can't contain how excited every inch of my body gets at just the mere sight of him, let alone all the thoughts that run through my head. He seems to have my whole heart and mind already in the palm of his hands and I willingly gave it up to him like the love-suck girl I am.

My heartbeat flutters just at the thought of him being in close proximity when he has been able to.. As hard as it may be to understand, my body shoots into overdrive when he is involved.. I can't help that my body is acting like this naturally, it's just how it reacts to him.. I can't control, let alone help it just as much as I can't help my heart that, as scary as it might be, must be filled with love just for him with how it keeps reacting in this situation.

I just think of him constantly, whether it's random thoughts or fantasizing.. The thoughts fill my head, encouraging me to want to do whatever he wants to do, just to be with him not because he says so. I just love spending time with him and I have always felt this way.. But this is different.

I know by how strongly I feel that I'm more ready for this next step with him than I ever thought I would be.. I really feel so much better about it the longer I think about it. I smile to myself thinking about him as a soft rapid knocking erupts on my door.

I look over at my door then the clock seeing that it's late.. So this could be very good or very bad.. depending on who is outside my door, Kristoff or Craig. I slowly get up as I hear another round of knocks and it sounds almost rushed or panicked.. not aggressive, which leads me to believe it's Kristoff. I slowly open the door to see my assumption was correct.

It him in all his handsome glory.. But the most shocking part is all the blood. His face is swollen, bruised and bleeding. My mouth drops open in not just shock but horror.

"What happened to you Kris?!" I yelp out, reaching up to gently touch his beaten face. His hand instantly covers mine to hold it there as he glances back and forth down the hallway to look for someone and I think I know who. He doesn't say anything just steps into my room. But I don't move out of the way, I just step back for his step forward, staying right in front of him.

"I need to talk with you." He says softly to me so I push the door shut and listen for the latching of the door knob right behind him to know we are secure in this room. Once that sounds fills the now quiet room, I softly state. "Talk away." My heart does back flips just wondering what he has to say, I just pray he is not changing his mind about us and our future.

"I don't know if I can do this." He says to me looking worried as he looks away but I just hope he is not saying what I think he is saying. "Do what?" I ask him as he shakes his head starting to pace around my room, looking completely torn. I want and need to know why.

I walk over to him putting my uninjured hand on his chest to stop him in his tracks. "Do what? Say it." I demand from him just needing to know how he really feels. He looks away as I can tell by his eyes pinging around the room then to my face, showing how fast his mind really is running.

"I don't know if I can do this with us." he says softly as I shake my head in disbelief. I quickly push on his chest, now needing to demand the answers I want. "Why not? Be honest with me.. You don't like me back? Or I feel to strongly for you that it's too overwhelming for you?" I ask him as he shakes his head then looking away just to look right back at me.

"No that's not it at all.. I.. God I.." He stutters and groans out looking away and running his hands through his hair not knowing how to talk about this. I'm stressed but it looks like he is more stressed then I am.. I want to help with these thoughts, that's what a partner is for. His mind is obviously overwhelmed, so I instantly take his hand in mine and pulling him over to my tiny little bathroom to clean him up since he has so much blood on his face.

I dampen a rag, pushing his shoulder down to make him sit down on the cover of my toilet so he is at my height. I slowly but gently wipe the blood away as he huffs out but still not saying anything to object. With every slow wipe I take more and more of the blood and even stress away. He looks like he is relaxing under my soft touch and luckily he is reacting just as I had hoped.

"If you don't like me like I do you, then that's ok to feel how you feel.. just tell me. For my own sanity I need to know how you feel.. all I want is to take things further with you and here I am scaring you off." I quietly say to him causing him to shake his head.

"That's not it at all... I just.. this is hard to explain." He tries to state as I roll my eyes because I understand how hard it is and here I am still trying.. so I need him to meet me halfway in this. "Just tell me already.. please." I impatiently ask as he huffs out, then stopping my hand from cleaning anymore blood off of his face.

"What did you imagine and hope to happen with us?" He asks me as I smile at him and retort, "It doesn't matter if you don't feel the same way.. I will never force or make you feel bad just for you to be with me." I state as he asks again. "Please answer me." I look into his eyes as I say even softer than before because of the lack of confidence in my words. "I was hoping we could grow and build a strong bond from this that would eventually evolve into a marriage.. and you know.. a family.. and future." I stutter through my sentence.

He smiles at me as I feel his hand cupping my cheek before he says, "That's all I have ever wanted with you." I love the warmth of his hand on my cheek it's calming in it's own way.. But with that statement, my mind is really running now.. I'm completely confused, if this is what he wants then I don't understand what the issue is and why he would be fighting this. "Then what's the problem.. I don't understand." I ask him with confusion evident on my face.

"We just can't.. if we are together then your brother will hurt you more.. he did this and told me he would keep hurting you to the point you might die and I can't have that! I love you more than you will ever know and I won't let you get hurt because of me!" He belts out as if it was on the end of his tongue just needing to be said.

I understand his concern I really do.. but the only thing I held onto from his statement is the fact that he loves me. I lean in, without hesitation, pressing my lips to his as he presses back deepening the kiss just like I love. I have to peel my lips from his just to say into them in response. "I love you too."

I don't give him a chance to respond, I just start to kiss his lips once again as he moans into mine, reaching up, gripping my hips tight. My hand runs through his hair intensifying the kiss as I lean on him, closing the soace between us.

I feel his hand drift slightly under my shirt that's fluttering over the top of my hips, so I just break this nerve-racking wall down and pull myself away from him, just to strip my shirt off, and then my bra, throwing them to the floor as I'm pulled back into him by the magnitizing feelings he erupts into my body.

"Meika." He says to me as I shush him with my finger pressed to his lips. "Enough talking. I need to show you how I feel about you to make sure you understand." I remove my finger just to replace it with my lips as I feel his hands wrapping around my bare back, then standing up but continuing to kiss me as he leads us backwards into the main room and to my bed.

We slowly drift down to the bed as he leans over me, kissing me with an intoxicating passion I have always dreamt of. My heart feels as if it's skipping beats at this point.. it's been years since I was with a man and I have thought about this moment with him a million times over. He is my fantasy and what I want and need right now. I don't care if it seems rushed to some, because for me this has been a long time coming.

His hands caress over the waistband of my pants and thong as he slowly pulls them down while continuing to assault my lips, with his tongue now running rampant inside of my mouth causing me to crave for more.

I'm reaching for his pants to undo them as quickly as I can without looking at the button itself. I get it open faster than I expected, it must be all the built up s****l tension that's leading my hands to fulfill this task as quickly as possible.

I pull his pants and boxers down in one swift move, impressing myself with this mission my hands are successfully completing one after the other, as if I'm some sort of pro, when I know I'm not. He breaks the kiss just to pull his shirt off over his head and throwing it on the mixed up clothing pile we have created within a 10 second span.. or at least that's how it feels.

He gazes down at me with a mesmerized look in his eyes as I smile then reach over grabbing his hand and pulling him back to me. I put my casted up arm to the side to get it out of the way as I run my open hand from his head to his hair then neck. His lips push back just aching for this as much as I am.

My hand drifts from his chest and down his upper body, over his abs and to the ready to go shaft now between my legs. I open my legs bringing us closer as I take his member into my hand just to place it into myself. It's only the tip but he quickly changes that as he mashes our bodies together making moans emerge, not from just my mouth, but his as well.

He slowly pulls out just to push back in at the same pace, making it feel almost sensual with our mutual feelings and actions expressed all at once.

With each deep thrust he makes, they seems to create an enticed moan that is accompanied by chills that automatically run across my body like they have never done before. The sensations cover every last inch and I wish this could last forever.

His grip on my waist tightens as his pace increases sending more sensations than expected through my body, just taking my breath away. I have to pull my face away from his just to catch my breath as his lips don't stop the kissing just continuing it down my jawline and to my ear. The light feathering of his breath on my ear and neck create more sensations that I'm now craving more and more of, like an addict.

My hand wraps around his head securing it into my neck as he thrusts not just faster but harder, sending the enthralling feelings into overdrive. I moan out as he does the same vibrating my neck under his luscious lips. He kisses down until he reaches the peak of my ample breasts that are eagerly waiting to be involved. This grip and sucking on the tip of my n****e unhinged the little bit of restraint I was holding onto. I moan out louder than before as my body arches under his.

His pace quickens slightly but enough to enthral me more than I ever thought. He now not only has my heart, but my body and now a part of my soul. I have never shared anything this special with anyone like this.. I have had s*x, but it wasn't sensual and meaningful like this. Our feelings fill every thrust, kiss and just touch that we exchange. I can feel the love tonight.

With every last move we make, connecting us over and over again, is now making the climax build up faster. So much faster that I can't seem to slow it down. I do want it to last all night, but my body has other plans. That peak hits me like a brick wall, sending every last bit of sensations running rampant through my body.. and that includes the goosebumps that now cover every last inch of my skin. I moan out loudly as he does the same thrusting deeply into me before quickly pulling his drenched shaft out of me just to pump the full length over the top of me. This shoots his juices across my torso like a special kind of lotion.

I'm panting just as hard as he is, but it's not bad at all, we just stare at each other with the best kind of comfortable silence filling the room and surrounding us.