Misery Is Sweet

Chapter 20 Overthinking

Meika's POV

My eyes flutter open waking me up naturally since I have the day off, so I didn't see any real reason to set an alarm. I sit up feeling weird.. I don't know if it's because of the strong pain killers that have been in my system or the craziness of my intense birthday yesterday or what. But I figured I would wake with the biggest smile on my face after the amazing night I had with him. But I guess that's what I get for thinking.

I sit up slowly, making the wave of lightheadedness hit my head as if it's some sort of balloon. I take a second to adjust before looking around my dark room.. with no windows in my room it stays dark most the time. So to really see anything I have to switch on the light and at the moment this is easier said then done.

I stand up and shift my feet to face the door as I slowly make my way over to it. The light switch I'm needing to flip on is right besides it, so I at least have a direction to go in this still new-for-me room. I lean against the door to be the support I need at the moment. I hold myself up as I reach over to flip the light on with my hurt hand. I didn't fully think this through, but man I wish I would've, that hurt more than I thought since I don't have the pain killers in my system anymore.

With the light now on and illuminating my room along with everything in it. I can see the pill bottle that contains my pain meds and believe me I need it. I skate my feet across the floor, trying to stay as steady as possible before getting to the little side table that had my meds on it. I pick up the bottle, squeezing then twisting the top off but it doesn't work. These damn child locks on bottles working on me as well, makes things frustrating at times.. I'm not a child but obviously just as smart as one when it comes to these bottles.

I groan out before trying again and thankfully I got it this time around so I tip the bottle just to recieve a couple of pills which is exactly what I needed. I throw them into my mouth as I twist the cap back on. My throat is dry so I can't seem to get the pain relievers down my throat. I don't have a drink so I look over at the bathroom sink. I slowly make my way over to the sink and turning it on. I dip my face down and under the water, just letting to pour into my mouth slightly while still getting my face wet.

I sit up quickly, almost throwing the water and pills in my mouth, into the back of my throat, while holding onto the sink so I don't fall from this drastic movements just in case. Once I get those down, I use this cold water by dipping my hand under the faucet and cupping some water just to splash on my face. It's easier said than done since it's only one hand because I can't get my cast wet. But it's successfully waking me up luckily. I was afraid I would be stuck in that half-awake fog all day.

I finish washing my face, then drying my hands and face off just to slowly make my way back to the bed. I huff out in exhaustion, before flopping back on the bed.

Yesterday was absolutely crazy in every single sense of the word.. but there was good and bad crazy which makes things more complicated then expected.. But that will all be solved when we leave this living hell for something better together. I have never felt so good about a decision. He is a good and loyal man that I would spend every day with if given the chance.

Even feeling crazy thinking about how I do love him.. I know I haven't dated him long by any means, but I have known him for years and thought about him tons.. We have had endless interactions and all good ones, he knows everyrhing about me good and bad. Plus he still wants to be with me after all that, which is a huge hill to get over in the first place.

This, to me, doesn't seem like I'm rushing when it comes to my heart, but my mind is logically telling me I'm completely rushing things and I need to slow it down before I scare him off. What is scary about that is if he feels the same about me rushing things, then I would probably scare him off.. and believe me I don't want that.

But all I have wanted is to get away from this place and to be happy.. Everything about this escape tell me I can have this and soon, especially since he says he has the money and wants to grow our lives together just as much as I do.. Well according to my brother, supposedly Kristoff declared his feelings for me to my brother, which is either crazy or romantic.. maybe both.

With this new and amazing step for myself happening so quickly, my heart can't help but beat out of my chest at those thoughts. But in such a good way, that I can't feel bad about this decision at all. I let out a deep breath as I quickly grab my cell phone and open it up to send a message. I want to make sure he knows how grateful I am about this next step for us just in case he is as nervous as I am.

Good morning handsome, I hope you had a good night sleep.. the pain killers in my system and our amazing time made sure I did.. I'm feeling refreshed which is perfect for us for tonight. I can't wait for this next step.. it's scary but, as forward as it may sound, you're the only one that I have wanted this with. I would do anything to make this work and I know this will be amazing for the both of us. Thank you for everything.. if you have time for breakfast or a brunch before you have to start working, just let me know and I'm there.. if not then I'll be in my room preparing myself for tonight.

I'm nervous about sending that because it is way to forward for myself and how I am usually.. but I feel like he needs to hear this.. we have both been on edge about my family harassing us, that I think reassurance is key in these types of situations. But I won't expect a response back right away, I bet he is sleeping and needs as much rest as he can get.

I look up and locking my gaze on my bags that are laying in the closet, I get up and grabbing the bags, pulling them over one-by-one to my bed. I have a average-sized leather back pack and for this trip I think that's perfect for what I should take with me to run away.. but the question is deciding what to take with me.. I can put a good amount in this bag, but obviously not all the clothes that fill these three suitcases.

I huff out knowing what my next step has to be. I start looking through the clothes and pulling out my favorite pieces of clothing and tossing them on the bed to pack. I keep this routine going for hours until all my bags are gone through and the whole pile I made is successfully packed into the backpack. It took a lot of sifting through that pile on my bed.. but all that matters is that I did it.

I grin to myself as I quickly look at my phone that I have been ignoring for hours.. but sadly there is no change. Nothing new to report for my messages or calls.

I sadly huff at that realization as my incredibly hungry system is now yelling at me. The growls that emerge from my stomach sing a desperate-for-food song that I figure I shouldn't ignore it. So I pick out a nice, comfortable outfit for me to wear.

This includes my favorite pair of ripped skinny jeans that hug my curves in the best kind of ways. I pull out one of my favorite green t-shirts that's so comfortable but makes me smile everytime, with the iconic Jerry Mouse holding a flaming match, with the words 'light my fire' on the front.. it's so comfy and cute that I can't help but wear it often. Luckily for me it brings out my eyes and that's my best feature.. So hopefully I will be able to see Kris and show off how green my eyes are next to this shirt.

I slip on my favorite pair of tropical greenery vans, while looking in the mirror. I brush my hair just to throw it into a messy bun on top of my head with some fly away hairs hanging down, giving it more of a messy tone. I pull out my make-up, trying to cover all the ugly bruising that's now very apparent on my cheeks and forhead. I highlight my beautiful eyes, before out lining the top lid and making those long eye lashes pop.. taking the attention off of my cheeks hopefully. Once my make-up is done and looking as best as it could, I grab my phone and keys to take off to the cafeteria to get me some free lunch.. I didn't realize the morning would fly by in a blink of an eye.

I walk out of my room and locking the door behind me. When I start walking down the hall I can't help but stop right in front of Kristoff's door. I raise my hand to knock but I can't get the guts to do it. I stand there for longer than I had hoped and losing all confidence, so I huff out and turning away to continue away from these rooms.

I get to the cafeteria and of course as I enter I see a couple friends cooking the food. They smile and wave before noticing my casted arm. I just keep smiling trying to not bring too much negative attention to my new injury.. but the concern is still apparent on their faces.

I order and take my meal very carefully over to an open table, just quietly eating and thinking to myself. "Hey Meika.. how are you feeling.. did you at least get some rest?" I hear as I look up to not only see Haley but Elizabeth as well.

I send them both a small smile and state. "The medicine and all of the crazy day helped knock me out.. I was in a little pain this morning so maybe that's what woke me up.. but since I took more pain killers I am feeling way better right now." They nod and sitting down across from me but without any sign of food.. they're just over here to talk to me.. which could be bad or good.

"Where's Kristoff?" Elizabeth asks looking around the room as I quickly shrug just trying to be casual about this. "I don't know I messaged him this morning but I haven't heard anything but I spent some time with him last night.. So that's ok, I'm sure he was just busy packing up clothes like I was all morning." I mysteriously state to them as their eyebrows furrow simultaneously.

"Where are you going?" Elizabeth asks me as I quickly answer but trying to make it so nonchalant that they hopefully won't be too upset about it. "Kristoff and I are planning on running off together tonight to get away from this hell hole.. he said he would do anything to keep me safe and wants to be with me and even declared his strong feeling for me to my brother. So I asked him to take me away, tonight."

"And he said he is going to?" Elizabeth questions as I think about that for a second. "Well, he didn't say it outloud, but we kissed about it and much more last night.. and like I said he declared he would do anything to keep me safe.. so we are doing this.. but Lizzy and Haley don't tell anyone about this.. please." I insist as they look between each other.

"Are you sure he will show up? Are you sure you're not taking this too fast? This all seems so rushed." Haley states as Elizabeth nods agreeing with her as I huff and state. "We want to be together.. is that too much for you both to understand?" I state aggressively eating my food getting madder the longer I think about it because they might be right.. I was worried that I might be pushing this too fast and maybe scaring him and I haven't heard from him today.

"But Meika." Elizabeth tries to start but I cut her off. "But nothing.. I love him and we will be together because he loves me too and wants this just as much as I do.. you'll see." I spat at them feeling the overwhelming truth hitting my heart and I think they know it without me actually saying it.. The pity in their eyes says exactly that to me. They sadly nod at me as I quickly get up and dumping the rest of the food off of my plate because I just want to get out of here.

I step out into the hallway to hear some noise father down the hall in front of me. I look over, seeing Kristoff coming from the side hallway where our rooms are located, but he turns and sees me, then quickly turns back around and walking the opposite direction. This isn't the only thing that catches my attention.. His face is definently more bruised and swollen than I saw last night, along with his eyes that are red and puffy, showing something else is going on with him.

"Kristoff?" I call for him but he is through the hallway door quicker than I can even get his attention. I just figured he didn't see me.. yeah that must be the case, he just didn't see me. I keep walking before I see my brother and his goons exiting the hallway as well and turning to go through the same doors that Kristoff just went through. I know they didn't see me because my brother has never walked past me without saying anything. But this is strange to say the least. I'll just get back to my room and relax.. these medications are making me overthink things.. right? That must be it.