Chaos

We make our own destiny

After the shocking announcement of an upcoming meeting everyone slowly goes to their rooms. Twins are the last to leave. Their dark blue eyes keep watching me silently so I say

"Spit it out."

Faster than a bullet Alex says with a grin

"Your soulmate is not here."

I almost slap him like a schoolgirl. "Are you out of your freaking mind? I'm married and have two children!"

"Yeah but that was in your past life. I believe you said -till death do you part- and for what we all see, death did you part"

"Actually I made a different commitment. For what I remember I told him that death isn't going to save him. I vowed to find him in death just like he found me in life."

I can see they don't like my answer.

"You can't do that" Andrej says "You cannot go against nature. You'll see when you find your destined one. You can't fight it"

"Right" I say "We'll see what I can and can't do."

Annoyed, they say goodnight and leave for the bedrooms. I stay sitting infront of fireplace with Nik, very proud of myself because I managed to annoy Elementals of earth and nature. Andrej as the earth is known for his calm, peacefull manner and Alexei as the nature is known for his ability to stay cheerful when everyone around him is upset.

"You know they are right. You can't hold on to the life you lost. You have a new life now." Nik says in a very serious tone. I turn to look at him and horror passes through me.

"Oh no. No no no. Don't you dare."

"What?" he asks.

"Don't you dare hit on me. We're friends, we're family, we are NOT going to go there. I have a husband wether you like it or not and even if I didn't, you are not my soulmate. I would have felt it." I say as I start panicking. No way this is happening.

"But I felt it." he says with sadness in his eyes. "You are my soulmate."

That leaves me more confused than when I woke up in the transporter.

"So you are telling me that I am your soulmate but you are not mine? That is not possible. It has never happened!" I say histerical.

"It is also impossible to be a Soldier and an Elemental at the same time, but you are. It is impossible to have as much power as you have without losing your mind, but you do. It is impossible for the souls who belong here to end up in the Skylands with wings, but your family did. Your arrival changed everything."

I just stay silent watching the fire. For a woman who had such a big mouth, I am left speechless far too often.

"I'm sorry. I truly am, but I will not betray my husband." I say with genuine sadness.

"I know you won't. You are far too stuborn and spiteful to just go along with destiny. You will make your own." he says with a sad smile.

I give him a hug and go to my bedroom, I didn't even notice when the sun set. Night was more beautiful than I could have imagined. There was a moon, but it was bright white with a purple glow and the colorful stars lit up the sky like fireworks. I make my way up the giant staircase, to the right at the end of the hall, door on the left, across from Nik's and Cam's rooms. I go inside and look around. White walls, black furniture, grey carpets. Looks like somebody knows me better than I thought. A floor to ceiling double windows overlooking the beautiful forrest with grey curtains to my right. A king size bed made of hard wood with sheets black as night in front of me. Black closet at the far wall to my left that looks like it can hold half the world's clothes, and a black table with mirror on it full of make up next to it. The wall behind me where the door's at is a mirror. Wow. That's when I see myself for the first time since I died. I look the same..almost. I'm still tall, but not as skinny as I used to be. A little more curves than I remember. My hair is a little longer, still light brown but a lot healthier. My blue/green eyes are a little brighter. My pale skin is clear like a porcelain, my lips full and bright red. I'll cover that with lipstick, I always liked brown better than red. And then pain hits me like a freight train. I'm thinking about lipstick instead of my children. What is wrong with me?! No, that's useless. They are fine, they are happy and I will bring them back soon. There is no point in grieving, they are not gone. I opet the closet and pull out the first shirt and shorts I see and crawl into bed. Wings are in the way, I don't know how to sleep with them. I lie on my stomach trying not to think about anything. Emily's and Anthony's faces swim around in my mind. When Anthony came home from school and told me he got an A, he was so proud and beautiful it made me cry. When Emily drew on the wall and came out with a devilish smile covering her behind, she was so adorable I couldn't even be mad. When Neil came into our lives and started acting like he is their real father. Better than their real father. How he accepted two children and an angry woman without blinking. How we were all happy. When they came on white wings, looking the same but different . Neil's yelling..I could kill him for it. It's like he forgot who I am. Never mind, it will all be alright soon. It was enough for one day. Can't imagine what's waiting for me tomorrow. I fall asleep with deep pain coursing through me.