A Student's Secret Love

Fighting with Sara

Time was passing day by day. But Sara was still indifferent to him. She always behaves like an ignorant that she is living in someone else place on rent who helped her in her need. Which was making the atmosphere very awkward for them.

When she agreed to his offer to stay at his place he was thinking that now his life will be filled with excitement but everything is going in opposite direction.

He was not able to figure out that what had suddenly happened to her that she is behaving coldly to him. Initially everything was going smoothly as he was wishing for. Whenever he had some doubts regarding his studies he goes to her room. She does not waste any moment to solve his problem and scram him out.

He was feeling an air of despondency. Many a time Philip tried to discuss about it with her but she ignored him all the time which was bit annoying him day by day.

In the evening on day after the dinner, “What is your problem miss? I am totally irritated by your behavior. I am feeling like I have done a mistake by offering you to live at my place. My mother was happy after listening that somebody is there to look me in her absence.” He was ruffling his hair by his both hands while the elbows were placing on the kitchen table. He was looking pissed off by her.

Sara was feeling frozen for the moment but composed afterwards. “oh, that means your mom was thinking that I am a nanny for you who will sing lullaby for her son", Sara told the last part with quoted actions. It was something new to hear from him.

“She does not say that you are here to look after me but at least I would not feel alone if you are there. I have no family here besides her that’s why she was little concerned. That’s it. No need to say unnecessary for my mother.” He scrammed in intimidating manner.

Sara set on the chair with thud. It was also doleful for her. She was not intended to hurt him in this manner but apart from this she can’t do anything to keep him away from her. Her eyes were filled with tears which were on the verge of falling down by thinking of how Philip was said by her actions.

“I am sorry Philip. I don’t want to do it but I can’t help in it. You have bear this.” By saying this in her mind she hides her face in her folded hands and started sobbing.

When her breath again composed after few minutes of cry she stood up from her place and head back to her room. Now there was a complete silence between them. They even don’t look at each other.

But nobody was trying to take initiative for the talk. It’s been a month now that there was no change in their behaviors.

In the college outside the staff room Philip was standing with the book.

“What are you doing here in front of our office. You are supposed to be in your class this moment.” Mrs. Lizzy shoots sharply at Philip who was standing in front of the staff room.

Mrs. Lizzy used to teach economics to him. She was in her fifties. Wearing office attire, she was looking professional a bit.

“Oh, I-----I have some doubts in statistics so….so I was looking for Miss Collins. If she could help me out to clear some doubts.” Philip was stammering when he was giving his excuses.

Mrs. Lizzy calls Sara while making her specs fixed properly on her face.

“Sara that boy is looking for you, saying that he has done doubts? Do you know him?” Mrs. Lizzy was looking little doubtful so she asked her in front of Philip.

“Hmm, I know him but right now I am a bit busy so can’t help him out,” Sara told with set expression.

Mrs. Lizzy glares at him, “did you understand. Now Scram.” Mrs. Lizzy was famous for her tough nature so Philip didn’t have any more courage to ask again afterwards. He took his leave from there.

He directly came near to his locker put a tight punch on it. His good friend Jacob looked at him in shock. “What happened to you, Philip?” He asked with a grimace.

“Nothing just like that.” He was looking in blank. Jacob have never seen him like that before. He always admired him very calm and composed but sudden change in his behavior was new to him too.

Philip took out his backpack and left the campus as it was time off of the college.

When Philip reached at home after his football practice when he was about to move to his room he noticed Sara was sitting in the living room surfing something on the TV.

Without looking at her he was moving from there. He was thinking of taking bath first as he was feeling stinky at the moment due to heavy practice. He was in his train of thoughts but suddenly interrupted by Sara's voice.

“So what's your doubt? Show me as I have not much time to spend in you.” Sara told straightforwardly as she was not in the mood to talk to him anymore.

Philip was startled by this sudden question and surprised too on it. He was in a confused state that did sunset in the east only.

“I will be back in five minutes after changing it.” He pointed out towards his stinky sports t-shirt and sweat pants. Philip rushes to his room.

After Philip’s leave, Sara again set on the sofa and concentrate on what she was doing earlier.

Philip became little hopeful too that may this would be a good start for them. At least they can be good friends.

After taking a shower he sprayed some good do on his body and wore a yellow t-shirt and loose pajamas. Philip came out of the room with his book in hand. When he reached in the living room he saw she was still busy in the same thing. He came towards her and stands beside the sofa.

Sara was too much engross in the T. V. Serial that she did not notice his present. She just inhaled the fragrance and suddenly realized that he was staring at her intently. Sara gasped at the moment when their eyes met with each other. Her heart bit skipped again from inside but she was looking glazed by her face. She doesn’t want to let him know about her feelings.

Philip took a seat beside him and opens the book to ask but make her shock by his question, “Why do you look at me with disgust feeling? I am helping you all the time but it’s feeling like you are just using me for your benefits.” Philip spoke in one go because he was sure that Sara would avoid him again. He was piqued by her nature now.

Sara suddenly closes the book and look straight in his eyes. “You know what you are too young to understand anything I guess. You are so stubborn I must say that your mind is stuck on the same point only. I have nothing to say about it. So good night.” By saying that she stood up from her place and turn to leave but suddenly felt something floundering on her wrist.

She looked at it and saw that Philip had grabbed her wrist. She tried to make her free from her grip furiously. Philip relieved her and left by taking his turn to her.

Sara was rubbing her other hand the wrist which got pain and looks towards the way from where he got disappeared in his bedroom.

From next day Sara noticed little changed in Philip’s behavior. Now he was smiling and become cheerful all the time. He always looks in good mood. In the class also he was behaving indifferently means he has no effect that who was standing in the class.

Now Philip started taking her for granted.

~~Philip~~

I tried hard to look normal but that evening my dam of Patience broke down and I asked her what I dumped in the bottom of my heart. She became infuriated by my question.

I think it was obvious reaction by her as it’s her personal life and her own choice to select the person to care or not to care.

I was feeling dazed when I saw her red face with deep anger. At that moment only my feeling became dead for her.

I rushed to my room leaving her in her in that state. When I reached in my room I punched hard on the wall to release out my frustration.

I fall down the bed lifeless. I was staring at the ceiling for long and thinking that for what reason I wasted my time on her. I have right to be happy. It’s my life why I am chasing her to be happy.

I have to change myself. After all I am a grownup man. Why I am allowing somebody else to stave in my heart again and again and it will give pain to me only other one have no emotions at all.

No not anymore I have to change all this. I can’t be like that anymore. I decide in my heart to be happy always.

So next day in the morning I complete my routine work with enjoyment although I was ignoring Sara all time as she does not exist at all. And I can see some pleading gestures on her face but she hides them time to time. I was one enjoying by looking her state.

She was so surprised by looking at my changed behavior that why I am not looking frustrated or angry at some point.

But I didn’t pay any attention to it and head out to my college.

In the college also I was behaving very normally. My dear friend Jacob was again in dizzy by looking at me. He shoots the same question like yesterday “What happened to you, Philip?”

I smiled slyly at his question and shook my head in nothing. I am not denying that I have no feelings for her at all but I have submerged them the bottom of my heart for some time until she does not initiate anything. And I am waiting for that day.