My tortured Luna

Chapter 17

Sages POV

Sage POV

Darkness.

Not the kind that frightened me.

The kind that wrapped itself around everything so completely that I couldn’t tell whether my eyes were open or closed.

For a while, I simply floated.

Weightless.

Cold.

Somewhere far away, something echoed.

A sound.

Slow.

Steady.

Thump.

…

Thump.

…

Thump.

I frowned.

I knew that sound.

My thoughts moved sluggishly, as though they had to force their way through thick fog.

Again.

Thump.

…

Thump.

Strong.

Deep.

Steady.

A heartbeat.

Not mine.

Mine had never sounded like that.

Mine always raced.

Always stumbled.

Always feared.

This one didn’t.

This one never hurried.

It simply…

was.

I knew it.

The realization sent a flicker of panic through me.

Alpha.

My body tried to tense.

Tried to pull away.

But before the fear could grow, another feeling brushed softly against my mind.

Warm.

Gentle.

Safe.

He’s here.

Sia’s voice was barely more than a whisper.

So quiet I almost thought I’d imagined it.

Don’t be afraid.

My breathing slowed.

He stayed.

The words settled somewhere deep inside me.

Stayed?

I didn’t understand.

I wanted to ask her what she meant.

But she was already slipping away again.

Sleep…

Her voice faded until only silence remained.

For a moment, I reached for her.

Not with my hands.

With something inside me.

But all I found was the faint feeling of her presence.

Curled somewhere deep inside me.

Sleeping.

Tired.

So incredibly tired.

A strange ache settled in my chest.

Not fear.

Something softer.

Lonelier.

Then everything disappeared again.

⸻

The second time I woke, the darkness had changed.

Moonlight spilled quietly across the room through the large windows, painting silver lines across the floor.

For a few seconds, I simply stared at the ceiling.

I didn’t recognize it.

White.

Smooth.

No cracks.

No mould.

No chains.

The silence felt different too.

No screams.

No footsteps outside a cell.

No laughter.

Just…

quiet.

I blinked slowly.

Something warm surrounded my left hand.

I frowned.

Carefully, I turned my head.

My breath caught.

Valens.

He sat beside the bed.

Or…

He must have.

Now he was half asleep.

His head rested against the mattress near my hip, one arm folded awkwardly beneath him while the other still held my hand as though letting go had never been an option.

His long legs were stretched out beside the chair, forcing his body into an uncomfortable angle.

He couldn’t possibly have slept well like that.

A few dark strands of hair had fallen across his forehead.

For once, his face looked… younger.

The lines of responsibility had disappeared.

He simply looked…

tired.

Very tired.

I looked down at our hands.

His fingers were still wrapped around mine.

Not tightly.

Just enough that I could feel them.

Tiny sparks danced beneath my skin.

Soft.

Warm.

Different.

Before…

They had frightened me.

They had made my stomach twist.

Made me want to run.

Now…

They simply…

tingled.

Like standing too close to a fire after being cold for too long.

I hadn’t realised how cold I’d been.

Not until now.

The warmth travelled slowly from my fingers up my arm, settling somewhere inside my chest.

It wasn’t enough to chase all the cold away.

But it was…

something.

Without thinking…

I smiled.

Only a little.

So small it barely counted.

The corners of my lips lifted for the first time without fear.

It felt strange.

Almost unfamiliar.

I kept watching him.

He hadn’t moved.

Not once.

His breathing remained slow.

Steady.

His thumb rested lightly against the back of my hand.

As though even in his sleep…

He was still making sure I was there.

Something fluttered quietly inside my chest.

I didn’t know what to call it.

So I simply watched him.

For what might have been seconds.

Or minutes.

Until…

Blood.

The image hit me so suddenly my breath caught.

Red.

So much red.

Jason.

His face.

His voice.

“I enjoyed every second.”

My smile disappeared instantly.

The warmth vanished.

The room blurred.

Bodies.

Blood covering my hands.

His throat beneath my fingers.

The sound—

My breathing shattered.

“No…”

The whisper escaped before I realised I was speaking.

My chest tightened violently.

The walls seemed to move closer.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t—

Valens moved instantly.

His eyes flew open before I had even finished drawing my next breath.

“Sage.”

His voice was rough with sleep.

But calm.

Always calm.

His chair scraped softly against the floor as he leaned closer.

“Look at me.”

I couldn’t.

I was back there.

Back in the forest.

Back with Jason.

Back with the blood.

“He…”

The word broke apart.

“He…”

Valens didn’t touch me.

Not yet.

He only tightened his hand gently around mine.

“Sage.”

His voice remained low.

Steady.

“Jason is dead.”

I froze.

“He’s gone.”

Another breath.

“He will never hurt you again.”

I stared at him, my breathing still uneven as the panic slowly loosened its grip on my chest. The room had stopped spinning, but I could still feel the blood on my hands. Jason’s laugh echoed somewhere in the back of my mind, mixing with the memory of his fingers wrapped around my arm, his voice dripping with amusement as though every scream he’d ever heard had been entertainment.

Valens didn’t rush me.

He didn’t tell me to calm down or ask me what I was remembering.

He simply stayed where he was, his hand still wrapped around mine, his thumb absentmindedly brushing slow circles across my skin. The tiny sparks beneath our hands flickered quietly with every movement, warming fingers that had felt frozen for what seemed like forever.

“He’s gone,” Valens said softly after a long silence. His voice was still rough from sleep, but steady enough that I found myself listening to it instead of the memories. “Jason will never lay another hand on you.”

I swallowed hard, my throat aching. “I almost…” The words caught before they could leave me completely. I lowered my eyes to our joined hands, unable to look at him. “I almost killed him.”

“You didn’t.”

The answer came immediately.

“I wanted to.”

His thumb stilled against my hand.

“No.” I looked up when he spoke again, surprised by the certainty in his voice. His eyes met mine without hesitation, calm despite the exhaustion carved into every feature of his face. “You wanted him to stop hurting you.”

The words settled somewhere inside me, unfamiliar and strangely heavy.

“I lost control.”

“You survived.”

I frowned. “That’s not the same thing.”

“No.” A sad smile touched his lips for only a second before disappearing again. “It isn’t.”

Silence settled between us once more.

For the first time since waking, I really looked at him.

His shirt was wrinkled as though he had been wearing it for days. His hair was even more untidy than usual, dark strands falling across his forehead. There were shadows beneath his eyes I had never noticed before, and his jaw was covered in the beginnings of a beard. He looked like someone who hadn’t slept.

Or left.

A strange thought crossed my mind.

“Have… have you been here?”

His eyes followed mine for a moment before he gave the smallest nod.

“I didn’t want you waking up alone.”

Something tightened quietly inside my chest.

I didn’t know what to do with that feeling.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology escaped before I could stop it.

It always did.

Valens closed his eyes briefly, exhaling through his nose before looking back at me.

“Sage…” His voice was so gentle it almost hurt. “You don’t have to keep apologising for existing.”

I blinked.

“I wasn’t apologising for that.”

His expression softened even further.

“I think you were.”

I opened my mouth to argue.

Nothing came out.

Because a small part of me wondered if he was right.

He looked down at our hands again, his thumb brushing lightly across my knuckles before he spoke once more.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

The warmth in his voice disappeared.

Every muscle in his body seemed to tense at once, as though the next words weighed more than anything he had ever carried.

I waited.

He didn’t speak.

His jaw flexed once.

Twice.

He drew in a slow breath that didn’t seem to reach his lungs.

“When Amelia couldn’t find anything physically wrong…” he began quietly, his gaze fixed on our joined hands, “…I asked her to keep looking.”

I listened without interrupting.

“She repeated every examination she could think of. Blood tests. Neurological assessments. Everything.” He swallowed hard. “Every result came back normal.”

I frowned slightly.

“But I was getting worse.”

“I know.”

The two words were barely audible.

“So…” His voice faltered for the first time. “…I called for a Mage.”

“She examined you differently.”

Another silence followed.

Long enough that I wondered if he had changed his mind.

Then he continued.

“She said your body isn’t what’s failing.”

My fingers tightened ever so slightly around his without me meaning to.

“She said…” He stopped again, his throat working as he stared at the floor. It looked as though even repeating the words physically hurt him. “…she said it’s your soul.”

I frowned.

“My… soul?”

He nodded once.

“The bond.”

The tiny sparks beneath our hands flickered again.

“She told me your soul has been searching for mine since the day we met.”

I stared at him in confusion.

That couldn’t be true.

I had spent every day trying not to fear him.

Trying not to flinch when he entered a room.

Trying not to think about the strange ache I felt whenever he disappeared again.

As if reading every thought crossing my face, Valens gave the faintest shake of his head.

“I didn’t understand it either.”

His voice had become quieter.

“She said every time I came near you…” His thumb brushed absentmindedly over my skin again. “…your soul remembered it wasn’t alone.”

Something deep inside me stirred.

Not enough to understand.

Just enough to hurt.

“And every time I left…” He stopped, closing his eyes for the briefest moment before forcing himself to continue. “…it lost that hope again.”

The room became impossibly quiet.

Instinctively, I reached inward.

“Sia?”

Nothing.

Only the faintest sense of her presence.

Sleeping.

Curled somewhere deep inside me.

So quiet it frightened me.

Valens watched me carefully, as though he already knew what I had been searching for.

“The Mage said your wolf has been carrying you for years.” His voice was barely above a whisper now. “She said she’s exhausted.”

I lowered my eyes.

“I know.”

The words slipped out before I realised I was saying them.

“I’ve… I’ve felt her getting quieter.”

My throat tightened painfully.

“She sleeps more now.”

When I looked back at him, something in his face broke.

Not completely.

Not yet.

But I saw it.

For the first time since I’d met him…

King Valens looked afraid.