Chapter 18
1001 Words
Sages POV
For the longest time, neither of us spoke.
The room had fallen silent again, the only sounds the quiet rhythm of the monitors and the steady rain tapping softly against the windows outside. My eyes drifted back to our joined hands. The tiny sparks were still there, dancing lazily beneath my skin, so different from the painful pull they had once been. I found myself watching them, almost afraid they might disappear if I looked away.
“I asked her if I should mark you.”
His voice was so quiet I almost missed it.
My head lifted immediately.
Valens wasn’t looking at me anymore. His eyes remained fixed on our hands, his thumb motionless now, as though even that small movement had become too much.
“I thought…” He let out a slow breath that sounded painfully unsteady. “I thought if I completed the bond, it would save you.”
A strange warmth spread through my chest.
Not because of his words.
Because he had wanted to save me.
“The Mage said no.”
I frowned.
“No?”
He finally looked at me, and the pain in his eyes stole every thought from my mind.
“She told me that a mark forced onto a frightened soul isn’t salvation.” His jaw tightened, and I could see him forcing himself to continue. “She said it would become another wound.”
I instinctively lifted my free hand to the scar on my cheek.
Another wound.
The words settled heavily between us.
“She said…” His voice grew quieter still. “She said your heart has to choose what your soul already knows.”
I stared at him.
My heart…
Choose him?
The thought felt impossible.
Not because I feared him.
Not anymore.
Because I had never chosen anything before.
Valens swallowed hard before speaking again.
“I asked her what I was supposed to do instead.”
His fingers tightened around mine, just for a second.
“She said…” He paused, and when he continued, his voice had become almost unbearably soft. “‘Stay.’”
My chest tightened.
“‘Stop leaving.’”
The room blurred for a moment.
I remembered every time I had watched him disappear through a doorway.
Every time I had wondered why seeing him leave hurt so much.
Every time I had told myself I was imagining it.
He closed his eyes.
“I thought I was protecting you.”
The words sounded broken.
“My father…” He stopped, rubbing a hand briefly across his face before letting it fall back into his lap. “My father loved my mother more than anything. When she died…” His throat worked. “He wasn’t a king anymore.”
I listened quietly.
“My uncle raised me after that.”
A humourless smile touched his lips for barely a second.
“He taught me that a king cannot afford weaknesses.”
His eyes found mine again.
“So when I found you…”
He couldn’t finish.
His gaze dropped.
“I convinced myself…” he whispered, “…that staying away would keep both of us safe.”
Silence settled over the room once more.
It felt different now.
Heavier.
“I watched you instead.”
His voice had become distant, almost as though he was speaking more to himself than to me.
“I knew when you walked through the gardens.”
A pause.
“I knew when you trained.”
Another.
“I knew when you started smiling around Valeria.”
His lips trembled ever so slightly.
“I knew when you laughed for the first time.”
My breath caught.
He had seen that?
“I heard it.”
A tear landed silently on the blanket between us.
“I remember thinking…” He gave a quiet, broken laugh. “…that it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.”
Another tear followed.
“So I left.”
His shoulders sank.
“Again.”
I couldn’t look away.
“The Mage told me…” He stopped, swallowing against the emotion tightening his voice. “She told me that every time I walked away…”
His words faltered.
“…your soul believed I had chosen to leave it.”
The sentence seemed to steal whatever strength he had left.
“I did this.”
Barely a whisper.
“I made you worse.”
He shook his head slowly, unable to meet my eyes.
“I kept thinking I was saving you.”
His breathing became uneven.
“I was killing you.”
The last word broke completely.
His shoulders trembled once.
Then again.
He covered his eyes with his free hand as though he could somehow hide what was happening, but it was too late.
The first sob escaped before he could stop it.
Quiet.
Raw.
Completely unlike the composed man I had known.
He bowed his head, every careful wall he had built around himself crumbling in complete silence. No shouting. No anger. Just grief so deep it seemed too heavy for one person to carry.
I stared at him.
I had never seen anyone cry because of me.
Jack had laughed.
His guards had laughed.
People had looked away.
No one had ever cried.
Not for me.
Something shifted quietly inside my chest.
It wasn’t the bond.
It wasn’t fear.
It wasn’t even understanding.
It was simply…
Pain.
Not my own.
His.
Seeing him like this hurt in a place I couldn’t explain.
Almost without thinking, my fingers moved.
Just a little.
Barely enough to be noticed.
I squeezed his hand.
The movement was so small I wasn’t even sure I had done it.
But Valens froze instantly.
Slowly, he lowered his hand from his face.
His eyes, red with tears, met mine.
Neither of us spoke.
We didn’t need to.
For the first time…
I hadn’t reached for him because I was afraid.
I had reached for him…
Because he was hurting.
- Writer
