My tortured Luna

Chapter 8

Sages POV

The days slowly began to blend together. Every morning I woke before sunrise, my body still convinced someone would burst through the door and drag me out of bed. Every sound outside my suite made my heart race. Footsteps. Voices. Doors opening somewhere down the corridor. I waited for permission to start my day. It never came. After a few days, I stopped waiting.

Valeria somehow became a part of my mornings. She never knocked. She simply walked into my suite carrying breakfast as though she'd done it her entire life. Most mornings she stole something from the kitchens.

"I brought cinnamon rolls." She placed the tray on the table with a satisfied smile.

"You stole them?" I looked at the basket in disbelief.

"I borrowed them."

"You can't borrow food."

"Watch me." Despite everything, a small smile tugged at my lips. She noticed. She never mentioned it. We ate together almost every morning. Most of the time she talked while I listened. She told me stories about growing up in the palace, about sneaking into council meetings as a child just to annoy Valens, and about the countless desks her brother had apparently destroyed over the years.

I didn't tell her much at first. Just small things. That I preferred mornings over nights. That I hated silence because silence usually meant Jack was planning something. That I still woke expecting chains around my wrists. As the days passed... The stories became harder to keep inside.

"My mother died giving birth to us." I kept my eyes on the tea in front of me.

"That's what my father always told us." Valeria didn't interrupt.

"I remember him." The words surprised even me.

"I don't remember his name." She remained quiet.

"I don't remember where we lived either." She frowned slightly.

"We moved all the time." I searched through memories that felt older than they should.

"Sometimes we stayed in a little house. Sometimes a cabin. Sometimes..." I shrugged.

"We just kept walking."

"And your father?" Her voice remained gentle.

"I remember that he smiled." A faint smile appeared before disappearing just as quickly.

"He wasn't cruel." The silence between us stretched comfortably.

"I don't know what happened." My fingers tightened around the warm mug.

"I don't know why he sold us."

"You don't know that it was him."

"I remember him taking us somewhere." She waited.

"There were people." I closed my eyes, trying to piece the memory together.

"They were arguing." Another fragment surfaced.

"Deletio was holding my hand." I swallowed.

"My father knelt in front of us." My chest tightened.

"He promised everything would be alright." I opened my eyes again.

"The next thing I remember... was Jack." Valeria didn't speak. She simply listened.

"My brother remembers more than I do." She nodded.

"He always has." A genuine smile found its way onto my face.

"When we were little..." I let out a quiet laugh.

"He used to tell everyone he was ten years older than me."

"Was he convincing?"

"He was five." Valeria laughed.

"He'd stand in front of me whenever strangers got too close." I shook my head fondly.

"He was tiny."

"But brave."

"The bravest person I've ever known." The smile faded.

"I couldn't protect him from Jack." Silence settled over us again.

"My scar..."

My fingers moved unconsciously to the uneven skin stretching from above my right eyebrow across my cheek.

"Jack did this." Valeria's eyes followed my hand.

"With a silver knife." Her expression changed instantly.

"He said I was too pretty." The words sounded absurd now.

"He didn't like the way other Alphas looked at me." I laughed quietly without humor.

"So he made sure they wouldn't." My fingers traced the scar.

"He told me beauty was dangerous." Another pause.

"He said if nobody looked at me..." I swallowed.

"...nobody would ever try to take me away from him." I looked down at my lap.

"He wanted me to hate my own face." Valeria slowly moved her chair closer.

"Sage." I lifted my head.

"I don't see what he wanted you to see." I frowned.

"I see someone who survived." I looked away again. I wanted to believe her. I couldn't. Jack had spent seven years convincing me that every time someone looked at my face, they saw what he wanted them to see. Broken. Ruined. Worthless.

The words poured out after that. I told her about the cages. The arena. The children. The screams that still followed me into my dreams. How Jack convinced me he was my mate. How I'd believed every word he said. I told her everything. I never cried. Not once. The tears remained trapped somewhere inside me, refusing to come no matter how much my chest hurt. By the time I finished talking, hours had passed.

"Thank you." Valeria's voice was barely above a whisper.

"For what?" I looked at her in confusion.

"For trusting me." I shook my head.

"I don't trust anyone yet." A soft smile spread across her face.

"I know." She didn't sound offended. She sounded patient. Somehow... That made me feel even worse.

Another week passed, and before I realized it, the palace had slowly become familiar. I no longer got lost in the endless corridors, and I knew exactly which staircase led to the kitchens and which path through the gardens would eventually bring me to the bakery.

Jayden continued showing me every corner of the palace, answering every strange question I asked without ever making me feel stupid. I finally learned what a library was, although I still couldn't understand why anyone would need a room filled with books.

Penny laughed so hard she almost dropped an entire tray of bread when I asked if people actually read all of them. Somehow, she'd become another part of my routine. She always had flour on her cheek, always smiled before she spoke, and somehow always managed to sneak an extra pastry into my hands before I left.

Valeria became something else entirely. She never pushed, never asked questions I wasn't ready to answer, but somehow I still found myself talking more every day. She listened more than she spoke, and I slowly realized how rare that actually was.

There was only one person I never seemed to understand. Or rather... Never seemed to see. I only crossed paths with Valens twice that entire week. The first time was in the entrance hall while Jayden was showing me another wing of the palace. His scent reached me before my eyes found him.

Rosewood.

Mint.

He was walking towards us, dressed in another perfectly fitted black suit with a folder tucked beneath his arm. His eyes met mine immediately. They always did.

For one brief moment I thought he was coming over. Instead, he murmured something to the advisor beside him, turned around and disappeared through another corridor. The second time happened almost exactly the same way. We were walking through the gardens when I spotted him speaking with several Alphas beneath one of the old oak trees. His eyes found mine from the other side of the lawn. He excused himself before I was even close enough to hear his voice.

"He was just here." I stopped walking, unable to look away from the empty path he'd disappeared down.

"He probably has another meeting." Penny adjusted the basket on her hip as though it was the most obvious explanation in the world.

"He always has another meeting." The bitterness in my own voice caught me off guard. Penny glanced at me but wisely chose not to comment. I hated that I kept noticing.

Kings were busy.

Kings had responsibilities.

Kings didn't spend their days following frightened girls around their palace.

So why did it bother me? Why did I keep looking for him every time we entered a new room?

I didn't want him.

I didn't want another Alpha.

I didn't want another mate.

The thought alone made my stomach twist.

"No." I muttered under my breath, more to myself than anyone else.

"I'm not doing this again." Sia shifted quietly inside me but, for once, she didn't argue. She simply watched, waiting for me to admit something I stubbornly refused to believe.

The headaches started a few days later. At first they were nothing more than a dull ache behind my eyes, easy enough to ignore.

I blamed the lack of sleep, the unfamiliar surroundings, even the endless conversations with Valeria that forced old memories back to the surface.

But they didn't disappear. Every morning they returned a little earlier, every evening they lingered a little longer. Bright sunlight suddenly felt too sharp, loud voices echoed uncomfortably inside my head and sometimes, if I stood up too quickly, the entire world tilted for just a second before settling again.

I told no one. Pain had been part of my life for so long that ignoring it came as naturally as breathing.

Valeria noticed anyway.

"Your head again?" She looked at me over the rim of her teacup, watching me lower my hand from my temple.

"I'm fine." The lie came automatically.

"You've been saying that for days."

"It'll pass." I offered her a small smile that fooled neither of us.

"Will you let the physician examine you?" I shook my head.

"I don't want to be a burden."

"Sage..." She sighed softly, setting her cup aside.

"You could never be a burden."

"You don't know that." I looked down into my untouched tea.

"People like me don't ask for doctors."

"What do you mean, people like you?" Her voice remained calm, but I could hear the concern behind it.

"Slaves." The word left my mouth so naturally it almost frightened me.

"We work until we can't anymore." Silence settled between us. Valeria didn't argue. She didn't tell me I was wrong. She simply looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite understand, and somehow... that hurt more than if she had tried to convince me.

Later that evening the headache became so intense I had to stop halfway down one of the palace corridors. I pressed two fingers against the bridge of my nose, waiting for the pounding to ease, but instead I felt something warm trickle over my upper lip. Confused, I lifted my hand.

Blood.

Bright red blood covered my fingertips.

A single drop landed on the polished marble floor.

Then another.

My heart began to race. I'd never had a nosebleed before. I quickly wiped at my face with the sleeve of my sweater, praying no one had seen it. My vision blurred for just a second before steadying again. Maybe Valeria had been right. Maybe something really was wrong. The familiar scent reached me before I looked up. Rosewood, mint.

Valens stood at the far end of the corridor, a folder tucked beneath one arm, his tie loosened slightly after what looked like another endless day of meetings. His eyes locked onto mine almost instantly.

Then they dropped. To the blood on my hand. For the first time since I'd met him... His composure cracked. He took a single step towards me. Instinctively. Like he'd forgotten himself. My breath caught.

My body tensed before my mind had time to think. My eyes widened in panic, every lesson Jack had beaten into me screaming that an Alpha only moved towards me for one reason.

Valens stopped. The movement was so slight I almost missed it. His foot never completed the second step. For one brief second neither of us moved. Then I wiped the blood from my face again, turned on my heel and hurried down the corridor, fighting the pounding in my head as much as the embarrassment burning beneath my skin.

I didn't stop until the heavy door to my suite closed behind me. Only then did I slide down against the wood, pulling my knees to my chest.

What was happening to me?