Reaper of Hearts

Chapter Three

The elevator doors slid open and Cassidy was assaulted. And insulted. But mostly assaulted. There was pink everywhere, from deep mauve to the lightest pastel.

"Here you go newbie!" Lindie gave her a shove and she stumbled into the fuschia foyer. "Have fun!"

"Sure...fun." Cassidy muttered under her breath. There was no un-earthly need for so much pink. It was a glaring eyesore, and once again she cursed David. The asshole probably nominated her for the intern position on purpose, just to blind her.

She stepped up to the desk and sighed. The woman behind this desk was cut from the same cloth as Lindie, complete with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a vapid stare. She felt so out of place with her dark hair, brown eyes, and comfortable jeans.

"Omigosh! Aren't you just the sweetest little gothic gumdrop, right?" The cupid smiled her thousand-watt smile and Cassidy barely managed to refrain from rolling her eyes. "You must be one of the interns!"

"Omigosh! How did you guess?!" Cassidy flapped her hands in front of her face, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

She was in hell. That was the only thing that could explain this sudden switch from reaper to cupid. She had pissed off the Almighty and had been plonked right into her own personal hell. Complete with Carbon Copy Barbie.

"Well, lovely, follow me! They're almost ready to start orientation!"

Her sarcasm must've fallen flat because this girl was not getting the memo. She was way too excited, full of exclamation points and cheerful ignorance.

The receptionist led her to a large conference room at the back of the floor. It was packed with people. Actually, people was a strong word. Cassidy felt her mind bend as she passed by someone that must have been from that seventh dimension. Clothing was optional, and that many p*****s on one being should be criminal. And they weren't small. It might've been okay if they had been tiny. No, these were flailing gargantuan monster d***s in various stages of turgidity.

One of the shafts honed in on her and stiffened. She wasn't sure if she should be flattered or mortified. She chose to ignore it and flee to the back of the room. Anything to get away from d**k Tracey.

She chose a dark corner and slid into a seat. If she closed her eyes and ignored the excited chattering, maybe she could pretend she was back at the Afterlife Agency headquarters. She was one more p***s monster away from losing her goddamned mind. All the fleshy bits were giving her a migraine.

"Jesus H. Christ on a chicken-flavored biscuit!" Someone slid into the seat next to her and she cracked open an eye. He was beautiful. That was really the only way to describe his fine-boned profile. He was also, blessedly, not wearing pink. The only other person in the room to not be in the uniform color of choice.

"Rough morning?" Cassidy smirked from her seat.

"If being accosted by a giant vulva-shaped being in a pants suit is your idea of harrowing, then yes!" He shuddered dramatically. "I suppose it would've been fine but the being kept spitting when she talked."

"How do you know it was a she?" Cassidy almost choked as she pictured a walking p***y. The man just leveled a look at Cassidy and she laughed. "It can't have been as bad as Pretty Peter Pecker." She gestured toward the front of the room where the p***s monster reclined easily. "It must be head d**k in charge, because that was a lot." She held out her hand, smirking. "Cassidy Archer, new recruit."

The man took her hand. His hand was cool, and Cassidy felt a soft kind of lethargy creep over her. It was restful, eternal. The feeling of satisfaction after a job well done, and one deserved a long break. "It's a pleasure to meet you Cass--"

"Good morning." The purring voice of Eros filled the room. Cassidy jerked her hand back and straightened. She didn't expect him to be leading the orientation. The feeling of need washed over her again. She sucked in a sharp breath. "Welcome to Love Limited!"

There was a smattering of applause, but Cassidy couldn't join in. She had to sit on her hands to keep those traitorous bitches out of her own pants. She felt as if she was the only person in the room that was close to internally combusting. She was on fire and only Eros could douse the flames.

"In just a few moments, we will head to the Research and Development department to get everyone outfitted with their wings, bows, and quivers. But first, I would like to introduce a special guest who will be joining us for the time being as part of the merger with the Afterlife Agency."

Eros gestured up at the dark corner that Cassidy was hiding in. She wasn't aware she would be put on the spot like this. She blushed hotly.

"Please put your hands together for--" Cassidy readied herself to stand, sighing heavily. She couldn't just fade into anonymity. Apparently she would be the face for the new merger, a reaper turned cupid. It was tragic, really. "Thanatos!"

Cassidy froze, her libido washed away in an icy wave of shock. The man at her side stood awkwardly. "Pleasure to be here, I'm sure..." He trailed off, his eyes darting down to Cassidy, a lazy smirk tilting his lips as he reached down and jerked her to her feet. "Please be sure to welcome our most prolific reaper as well! Cassidy Archer!"

Cassidy wanted to melt into the carpet under her feet. A hundred eyes turned to her and a thousand hushed whispers filled the room. She had never done well being the center of attention, she was more of a background character with a streak of stubborn pride.

"Thanatos..." She murmured behind clenched teeth as she gave the room a jaunty wave. "When we are done, I'm going to punch you right in your nutsack."

Thanatos leaned in to her, his breath whispering across her ear. "Did you think I wouldn't know one of my own, little reaper? We are going to be stuck together for the foreseeable future. Who knows, maybe if you're a good little cupid, you can become intimately acquainted with my nutsack. All proper and shit."

Eros met her eyes from the floor below her, giving her another saucy wink. These two men would be the metaphorical death of her, since she couldn't be any more dead than she was.