Reaper of Hearts

"You've got to be joking!" Cassidy slammed a hand on the aged oak desk in front of her, glaring down at her boss. "Sorry, kid. It came from corporate. Apparently they're doing a shake-up all the way down the chain." He shrugged easily, settling back in the old metal desk chair. The chair squealed under his weight, but he didn't seem disturbed. Since it had lasted close to a millennia, there probably wouldn't really be any issues in the next decade either. He spread his hands. "Whatcha gonna do, right?" "No! No, it's not 'Whatcha gonna do?'. It's what are you going to do about it, David?" Cassidy stepped back, clenching her fists at her side. "I have poured blood, sweat, and tears into this damn job for the last two decades! I'm not about to be summarily stripped of everything I've worked for to start as an intern. I don't care if it is 'coming from corporate'!" "Cass..." David leaned further back, despite the whine of metal. "With the merger between the companies, of course they're looking to shake things up. It's no different there than it is here. It's all politics. You'll be climbing that ladder in no time." "This--this is preposterous! Let me guess, some cute little blonde with bright blue eyes will be coming in to take my spot?! How well do you think that's going to go over, David? Some perky b***h with a happiness hard-on trying to fit in here?" Cassidy flung her hand out. "We don't do happiness. We don't do sweet and loving!" She hissed, every line of her body vibrating with her anger. "See, that's the issue, Cass. You don't do happiness, or loving. Which is why you were chosen to take over the internship. When people shuffle off the mortal coil, they don't want to be greeted by a surly woman just doing her job. They want to be coddled, they want their fears soothed, their pain and anger assuaged! Your satisfaction surveys have been slipping over the past five years!" David sighed. "You're just not customer-oriented anymore, Cass. We can't have that in this business. The Afterlife Agency has standards to uphold." "So, just because I'm not wearing a good enough customer service face, I'm being given the shaft?!" Cassidy threw back her cowl and ripped the skull mask off her face. "How would they even know, David? They can't see me! All they see is a skull, a scythe, and a robe! How does it make any difference if I am 'surly'? They're dead, David. Half of them don't even do the surveys once they're past the portal." David shrugged again. "I can't change it. You were chosen. End of discussion." He held out his hand. "I'm going to need your badge and scythe, kid. It's not personal." "It sure as hell feels like it." She muttered, slamming her keycard and scythe on the desk. The gold card with a stamped AA clattered across the desktop and into the floor. There went her pension, her retirement to the Elysian Fields all but stripped. She would have to start again, at the bottom of the ladder. She had been so close to making management, and now she was...well, she didn't even know what she was anymore. She turned on her heel, stalking out of David's office. Luckily, she had spent more time in the field than hanging around the office. She only had a few things to grab before she sauntered out of the building. She pushed through the glass doors, resisting the urge to flip off the security guard. He was just doing his job. She had joined the Afterlife Agency shortly after the college bender that ended her life too soon. She knew mixing everclear with koolaid and cliff-diving would end badly, but no one triple-dog-dared Cassidy Archer. If David hadn't found her wandering the beach, she would still be there, a lost soul with no way home. She blew out a heavy sigh. David had given her a life back, sort of. He had taken her on as a new intern, bumping him to middle-management, and allowing her to continue to be somewhat active in the living world. Reapers were chosen at random, no real rhyme or reason to the Universe saddling them with the job. Some of Cassidy's co-workers believed they still had some sort of unfinished business, or some kind of karmic debt to work off. She was of the mind that, like some supermarket sweepstakes winner, a reaper was the millionth customer to punch their card at just the right time. Cassidy would never grow any older, never have children, never experience life as a human. She was stuck as a barely twenty-two year old, and had been since the early 2000s. She couldn't even enjoy her afterlife, or see her family. When someone died, their tether to human world was snipped, and they went on to a different plane of existence. The multiverse was real, and a real b***h too. Cass began shuffling down the busy sidewalk toward her apartment building. The upside to being a reaper meant her job came with a view of downtown. She wasn't sure how cities were built in the Astral plane, if it was just some thoughtform structure appearing out of the ether. She had never given it real thought. Asphodel was a veritable melting pot of diversity; ancient gods rubbed elbows with angels, demons dined with saints. Everyone that inhabited the city had some kind of job, hand-selected by the Universe to keep it running smoothly. Which is why the merger between the Afterlife Agency and Love Limited had shocked the entire city. No one really mixed reapers with cupids. She held back a shiver. Cupids were ridiculous. Lovely monstrosities that spread happiness and heartbreak evenly throughout the multiverse. She was going to be one, starting in the morning. A reaper turned cupid. It was a new low for her afterlife, and she had once reaped a bag of puppies left on the side of the road in a backwoods town in Virginia. Apparently she was part of some initiative by corporate to help the merger stabilize within the city. A few reapers were selected to intern at Love Limited, and a few cupids would be taking their places. It was doomed. Cupids and reapers just weren't meant to mix. The Universe had chosen them for their individual jobs for a reason. Up-ending that to change something that some corporate d**k-for-brains thought was stagnant would create a mess. She groaned in frustration. No one would take her seriously enough. She was just another reaper. Even if she approached Charon or Hades, she would be laughed out of their offices. It was either become a cupid or walk through the portal. She wasn't ready to take her chances with judgement, and she sure as s**t didn't want to be reincarnated yet. She liked who she was. She also liked being a reaper. Maybe if she was s**t at her job, they would switch her back. Well, there isn't anything left to lose, is there? She would just have to be a terrible cupid. Plenty of lovelorn fools in the mortal world to make a statement with.