Excuse You Mr CEO, I Do Not Come To You By Chance.

My mother once said that a person who doesn’t know where a story begins, would not know how it ends. So, my friend, I would want you to take your seat, and relax cos my story comes in fragments and my life was a brake. I was born in Youngtown, a slum part of Ohio; that beautiful country that glitters like the stars of heaven. My life would have reflected the beauty of that country but my parents were as poor as ancient church rats. So, I grew up having no social life because who would want his child to associate with the child of a pauper? Nobody would! And that was how my life was conformed in my father’s thatch house and I became an introvert, who bottles up her thoughts and speaks them through her eyes. I had no toys to play with like the rich people do, save from counting the lines of our ceiling that had bunches of loopholes and sometimes, I optioned to talking to my shadow that used to appear in my mother’s water-filled barrel or when the sun shines aggressively. How funny it is? However, luck shone on me as my parents left the slum and moved to the city and started staying around rich people; though it was a single-room apartment in a tenement building. And even though I was never allowed to go out but I was lucky to always catch a glimpse of a handsome rich kid named Twain through our translucent widow. I remember sneaking out severally from our apartment in the early morning hours to their gate, just to wave at him when he was being taken to school. He is so sweet and has charming turquoise eyes and pink lips that would leave one to think of him as girlish. He possesses such silky long hair that flows sideways when he’s walking. He is tall, and chubby; the kind that one would refer to as healthy. His color could be said to be caramel and it usually leaves one to contemplate if he’s originally from Africa. Did he notice all my attempts to draw his attention? Yes, but it was just once that he smiled and returned my wave. And his smile sent a handful of butterflies into my belly, as that day became as if I won a medal, I returned home feeling stoked and fulfilled. Then my joy overflowed when my father told me to get ready for school on a very freezing Monday morning. “I’ve got you registered at Thom’s elementary school. You need to start school immediately so that you won’t end like your mother and me.” I smiled and nodded like an Agama lizard. Because I thought that starting elementary school, would make Twain befriend me. But little did I know that his school was different from mine. Little naïve me who thought that every child in Ohio attend the same elementary school. So on my first day at school, after my father bid me goodbye, I entered class one and started peeking at the faces of my mates just to see if I could find Twain. Then after the day’s class, I left for my home, feeling devastated, as it felt that my day was a total waste because I didn’t see Twain. Perhaps, it was because the children that I saw in my class weren’t as handsome as him. So when I got home, when my father asked me about my first-day experience in school, I told him that I didn’t like the school and our neighbor's children were not there. But he grinned and told me that I would get to like it with time. That wasn’t convincing as his eyes said otherwise. Perhaps, I should tell him to register me at Twain’s school. But what if he refuses? I thought. Though my father was very poor, strictness lived in his veins like spirogyra on salt water and that was why my words never exceeded “Ok, father/yes, father” when he makes decisions. But this time, the frowns on my face yelled “No, Father”. And my mother felt it in her cheese eyes but my father looked away in his usual cold manner. But what could I do? I accepted to continue schooling at Thom's elementary school. However, I devised a means of leaving my school earlier than the actual time that it closes, to Arnold’s school which was 20 kilometers long from my school. How crazy! This is just to tell you the kinda love that I have for him. It was such an innocent and powerful love that would send my belly empty at night if I don’t get to see him in a day. But you know, fate and love are like two athletes, running a marathon race. And it happened that death took my mother while we were asleep and in the morning, my father wore a straight face and reddened eyes. Our neighbors troop into our room like masquerades to its offenders' abode. One would say “Be consoled”, another would say “It is well'. And shortly, I saw my father and a few of my neighbors carrying my mother out of my room to where I didn’t know. That was the last time I saw her. Then a week, my father’s creditors began to storm our room daily, asking my father to pay up his debt else, he would be locked up in prison. And every midnight, amid the gross darkness in our room, I saw my father cry his eyes out and sometimes when they were not enough food at home, he would starve himself and leave small portions of food for me and my sibling. So, life continued that way until I finished elementary school then on my twentieth birthday, my father woke me up at midnight and told me that I would be taken to a new home. *************************************** “You have come of age, it’s now time to look after your sibling. I am now an old man; a very old man and my strength diminishes by the day. You will go to Mr Twain and you must promise me to always remain a good girl. I’ll miss you and your sibling will miss too. But I would be coming to see you on weekends.” My father smirked as his eyes welled up and so was mine when I looked at him, Coupled with that I had no idea what my new home would look like. And above all, that I wasn’t going to see my sibling again, left me despondent. But I had to obey the will of my father when he asked me to pack my clothes into my nylon bag as we left for Mr. Twain’s house. ******************************************* Arnold Senior's residence looks like a paradise; like the one that we were being told in the Christian Holy book. It is a white-painted gigantic duplex. And if one calls it a white house, it isn’t wrong cos the roof, glass, tiles, and everything in it are all white. The compound is ornamented with natural green grasses and beautiful sunrise flowers. As we stepped into the compound, I stood still at a spot and stared at every corner of the building like a dunderhead as my father walked five feet ahead of me. I was still standing there when he got to the house and as he looked to his left and right, didn’t see me, he turned to his back and shouted, “Shirley, why are you standing there? Come now, don’t keep Sir Arnold waiting”. Then I hastened my pace to where they were. “Good morning, Sir”. I greeted Sir Arnold who sat on the couch legs crossed, sipping his coffee blithely. He wore a short, coffee-colored beard, meticulously trimmed to just barely escape the shadow of his hard-cut jaw. And with a smile, he responded to my greeting, “Good morning, Shirley. You are welcome to Arnold’s paradise. Make yourself comfortable.” I nodded as I clung to my father’s legs, waiting for him to make a move then after a second, he led me to a sofa facing Sir Arnold. Then we sat down quietly, like people who had come to beg for alms. My father didn’t say a word to him until he dropped his glass of coffee and asked what brought him. “What brought you to my abode my friend?” Then my father grinned and said, “I am here because I am very poor and the only way that you could help me is by accepting my daughter as your maid. She is very hard-working, respectful, and kind. Don’t umpire her stature, she’s a very strong girl. You won’t regret having her here, I promise. “ Sir Arnold glanced at me thoroughly and sneeringly. His looks at that moment were screaming that my father was a liar. Like, how could an old man like my father, want to convince a civilized man like himself that I was a strong girl? But he chuckled in the next minute, then said, “It’s ok. She can stay here with us and at least, Twain would have someone to play with.” And my father’s face beamed with smiles immediately, as he hurriedly prostrated and started watering him with panegyrics. Then Sir Arnold ecstatically asked him to be on his feet and he put his hands into his pocket and brought out bundles of dollars and handed it to him, “Take these, and use them to take care of yourself and your family. Don’t fear, she’s safe here and I will take care of her”. My father collected the money, appreciated him, bid me goodbye, and left happily. Then I was taken to my room by a senior maid named Karen. “This is your room”, she said wearing a lovely smile as she closed the door and left. And I smiled inwardly as I elatedly dropped my nylon bag in the glass wardrobe. This particular wardrobe is fifty times finer than ours. It has bunches of Italian clothes hangers and three-line rows that could contain good amounts of clothes. I moved to the glittering large bed that could be termed a family bed, to have a feel of it. I touched it and the softness left me in awe as I wondered if it was an actual bed cos the one at my father’s house was nothing than a local iron bed, that pierces one's body at night like a sword and would leave one to howl in the midnight, then in the morning, one would develop a humpback. Then as I lay on it, it felt all surreal but I hastily inhaled a deep air to embrace the goodness that was set before me. And when it was evening, I was asked to join them in the dining room for dinner. At the dinner table, I was introduced to every member of the family and they welcomed me with big smiles. So I got to see the charming Arnold, face to face but I couldn’t look at his eyes when he helloed me. I ate very quietly as I pretended to bury my naivety amid their sophistication. But Twain quickly noticed the way that I was holding the dinner knife in place of the fork. Then he smiled collected the dinner knife placed it in my right hand, and asked me to use the fork with my left hand. I nodded shyly as I tried to practice what he taught me but when I couldn’t, I hastily appreciated Sir Arnold and every other person seated there and left to my room immediately. When I got to my room, the shame of what happened at the dinner party pricked my soul as I clung to my pillow, hoping that my father would come to get me out of there. However, while I was in the room, Twain walked into my room and stood beside the door, staring at me sheepishly like a moron, and the next minute, he said, “You were shy, weren’t you? We don’t want dopy and shy people here”. ************************************** I cast down my eyes, as I avoided maintaining eye contact with him. But I saw his sardonic smiles through my side eyes leaped into my heart and it pierced my skin even as harder as sword. So he left my room after a few minutes of silence, as I crawled to my shell, hoping the next day would be free from trouble. Twain is cold, loud, exuberant, merry, and bullheaded and I learned these within a few days of staying at Sir Arnold’s house. He would always sneak out of the house, against Sir Arnold’s rule, to play and party with his friends; return at a late hour. And sometimes, he would find his way to the kitchen to break the dishes neatly stacked in plates rack, in the name of wanting to arrange them in order. So when I was fifteen, he was twenty and when I turned sixteen, he became twenty-one. Then Sir Arnold summoned my father on a cool drizzling evening. So he honored the invitation tensely as he feared that I had done something wrong, perhaps, that would make Sir Arnold send me back to him. His appearance looked like one who had been beaten by heavy rain as he dragged his feet to the visitor’s seat. And I gave my father a paltry glance as tears housed my eyes and later dripped on my cheeks. “Oh, my father is getting old by the day”, I muttered from afar as I hurriedly wiped my tears before the compassionate, Sir Arnold saw me. So Sir Arnold received my father with gladness as he enquired about the welfare of his family and later started communicating by whispering. Then I paused my work and stretched my ear to eavesdrop on their conversations and luckily, I was able to hear a few words when my father's raucous voice said, “They will be the best couple”. Then I smiled, even without knowing the people that he was referring to. But I saw him giving my father bunches of dollars; bigger than the one that he gave to him during our first time in his house. Then my father prostrated and hailed him as usual. So while I was still mopping the balcony, I heard Sir Arnold call Twain’s name more daringly. Then he came from his room to meet with Sir Arnold and my father who wore big smiles. Twain detested any sort of inconveniences, especially attending family meetings and if he hadn’t been in a good mood that evening, he would have deafened his ear from the call as he would always do. “Sit down, Son”, Sir Arnold said smilingly as Twain gave him a startled glance and then sat close to him. He greeted my father briefly as he anticipated what the meeting would hold. Then in the next, I was also called to the sitting room and hastily dropped my mopping bucket and joined them. And my father glanced at me proudly and grinned but I didn’t comprehend what it was all about, so I sat close to him, hoping and waiting like Twain that the meeting would be for good. So Sir Arnold cleared his throat like someone who was suffering from a chronic cough and then said, “Son, it’s been long since I had this in mind. You know that you have come of age and aging comes with tons of responsibilities. So I have searched for someone worthy to call your wife and I found that person in Shirley. From henceforth, you will see her as your wife, I’ve just paid the bride price and your wedding will be held by next week.” I became dumbstruck and my heart leaped with joy as it was a dream come true even though it didn’t sit well with Twain as his reddened face said it all, I was still very glad to become the wife of someone that I had loved from a toddler. Should I say that I didn’t look like my age? No, I have a babyish face, puerile and height 5.9ft, busty, plump, and snow white fair in complexion. And even though I was aware to be too delicate the love that ornamented my heart, for Twain, whispered to me that I was old enough to be his wife. So I smiled openly with a little blushing as lowered my face to the floor so that Twain wouldn’t notice that I was desperate. But after a few minutes of silence, he said, “But father, I don’t like a girl of her type. She’s unsociable and…” And Sir Arnold's face stiffened as he thundered, “You have no option in this! Do you understand? You must marry her and that’s final.” So he left abruptly to his room, leaving my father, Sir Arnold and I there. And Sir Arnold smiled at me then said, “You shouldn’t worry about him, alright? He will return to his senses.” So I nodded as I left to finish up my chores. Throughout that night, Twain refused to come out for dinner and even when I tried taking good to his room, he refused to open the door after several knocks. So I returned to my room, said a little prayer, and hoped that he would accept his father’s decision on the next day. Then when the next day came, he woke up early before anyone else and left to visit his friends as usual, and in the night, he returned home drunk and had an alcoholic smell all over his clothes. And I ran to the stairs, where he fell to lift him. But even though he was throwing tantrums, I still found joy in embracing his waist for the first time. When he fell on the second time, as I tried to lift, I fell on his body, then my lips mistakenly met with his, and I felt its tenderness. No, I didn’t do it cos Mother once told me that our creed forbids that. “You never do an unpure thing! Else, the most Precious would depart from you”. ************************************** So the reminder of the most Precious helped me to keep my womanhood in check. So I quickly removed my mouth as I staggeringly dragged him to his room, then to the bed. I removed the whiskey-smelly clothes, leaving him with shorts. Then I proceeded to clean his body with lukewarm water. And after that, I was done, I returned to my room, lay in my bed, and prayed that he became well at dawn. On the next day, I was woken by the sound of sweet drums and when I peeked through the window, it was Sir Arnold, my soon-to-be father-in-law, and some Ohio’s women groups of band who came to perform marital rituals for me and Twain. It was a known custom that after the bride price of the bride has been paid, the traditional women in our community would perform some rituals as an act of blessing to the couples. They believe that the rituals would open the bride's womb for procreation. So Maid Karen knocked at my room and told me that my presence was needed at the visitor’s crib, so I replied, “I’ll be right there soon”. I got up from the bed and I hastily entered the bathroom to freshen up and later joined the women and Sir Arnold after about fifteen minutes. I reached there and I greeted them one after the other. And shortly, Twain joined us and the manner that received him was different from mine. So I was startled when they began to ask if he would be joining them later or sooner. But he grinned in his handsome mischievous manner as he glanced at me, then said, “Here she is”. And the woman's jaw dropped as they found it hard to believe that I was who he said that was. So I started hearing whispering and murmuring, “How could the parents of this small girl give her out for marriage?” a dark stunted woman queried and another replied, “I heard that they are very poor, they could barely afford three square meals.” “Oh, no wonder they forced her on him. Gold-diggers”. The stunted woman replied. And I deafened my ears to their hurtful words as I pretended that I didn’t hear a thing. So in no distant time, they commenced the rituals. Firstly, I and Arnold were asked to get down on our knees, so we did as they quickly started dancing in circles around us, blowing bunches of a white substance that looks like gunpowder into the air. Then when they finished dancing, they covered our eyes with a piece of cloth, and tied our bodies together, with rope as their leader began to make incantations. “Blelelelele, she will be fruitful. Bracadabracada, she will give birth to twins and she will be a blessing to this home and make her husband proud.” And everyone echoed “amen” As they untied our eyes and our entwined body. So I smiled inwardly as I didn’t believe the fetish acts. And if my mother would have been alive, she wouldn’t let them do that. But my father, a beneficiary of all religions enjoyed it till the end, as he said to me, “Congratulations on your full initiation into womanhood.” And I smiled as I opened my arms to embrace my siblings who also came for what they called my big day. Though I considered their visitations ad impromptu I never knew that Sir Arnold had made plans for refreshments. So everyone that came for the rituals had a lot to eat and drink as they returned to their abodes happily. After the ceremony, I went back to my room to rest but the presence of Sir Arnold disrupted it. This would be the first time that he would enter my room. He sat on my room couch and threw a lovely glance at me as I smiled and greeted him mannerly. Then he responded as he said, “My lovely daughter, I’m happy for agreeing to do this for me. Twain needs a homely girl like you as a wife. He may not know but I know better. So please, take care of him, don’t let his nasty attitude stop you from caring for him. You should go to his room.” I suddenly became mute like a stuffy perhaps, a snob as I pretended to have heard the last statement. But he softly called my name, “Shirley, you don’t have to fear. I understand that you are still very young but I guess we should let you come more of age.” I nodded as he left my room then I exhaled heavily as I shut my eyes and dozed off. While I was sleeping in my room around midnight, I felt a soft palm on my body then I squinted and saw a figure like that of Twain. So I opened my eyes widely to be sure that he was the one. Then he enclasped his palms together, as a symbol of pacification. But I frowned, even though I wasn’t angry, feigning it was necessary. He stared at my face for a minute then he said calmly, “Sorry for disrupting your rest. I came so that we could talk.” “What for?” I found my voice asking the defying question that even my shadow couldn’t believe that I would ask. Then he smiled and said, “Listen, I didn’t come for trouble. I know that you don’t want this right? I don’t want it either. So, I would want you to tell my father and yours, that you don’t want to marry me. And if you do, I’ll give whatsoever you desire.” My upper and lower lips broke apart as his words stung my heart and sent oceans of tears to my eyes. Then I held my breath, shut my eyes trying to suppress the tears that were about falling off from it. But immediately he called my name, “Shirley, are you still there”, then I lost control of my emotions as I started sobbing and I found my voice saying, “I won’t do that. I love you very much.” ************************************** Then he grinned and adjusted his butt close to me, as he lifted my jaw, wiped my tears, and whispered, “You are too little to fathom what love is. Cheer up, girl. Do not forget our deal.” He released my face as he abruptly left my room, while I cried my eyes out. So in the morning being our wedding day, I woke up, peeked through the window, and saw everywhere glittering and colorful. And I saw two cars fancifully decorated with different colors of balloons. And right in the compound were the caterers setting up large food barrels. Then as I was about to get out of my bed, Maid Karen badged into my room, carrying a white long gown, white vile, two pairs of white shoes, and bunches of mixed roses. She was wearing a very bright smile and before I could ask her anything, she said, “Miss, you should get ready, the priest is waiting.” So my calmly blinked eyes yes to it as I rushed to the bathroom to take my bath. Then when I was done bathing, the make-up artist was readily seated to make up my face. And I smiled at her as she asked me to sit on the make-up seat. That was the first time that I ever wore makeup. My heart leaped with joy as everything happening at the moment was looking surreal. Then within a few minutes, she was done with the makeup and I was led to the car that would take me to the church. At the church, I was ushered into the seat close to the altar by my father, while we waited for Twain to arrive. The choristers sang and the priest said the opening prayer briefly. Then I could see Sir Arnold seated elatedly at the congregation, but Twain wasn’t there. So shortly, the priest called on the prospective couple to join him at the altar. Then I went to the altar, hoping that Twain would join me. But after about two minutes, the priest called for him and then, Sir Arnold realized that he was not yet in church. And my heart was torn apart as my eyes overflowed with tears. But I tried to control it so that it wouldn’t wash off my make-up. But before Sir Arnold left with his guards to search for him, he came to the altar and said to me, “Do not cry, I’ll find him, I’ll bring him here”. Then I smirked amid the disgrace; that the man I loved didn’t want me. When he left, I was led back to my seat by the chief bride's maid. So my father glanced pleadingly at me from where he sat and that assured me that everything was going to be alright. And luckily, they were able to bring Twain to the church. So when the priest called on us to come to the altar, we both climbed to the altar, one after the other. Then he began, “Praise be the Lord. The Lord has done great things for us. Today is a special day in the life of our Brother, Twain Arnold, and Sister, Shirley Petersburg who found pure love and have agreed to seal it in the presence of Yeshua. Before I proclaim them as husband and wife, I would want to know if there’s anyone among you brethren, that have any reason why they wouldn’t be joined together…” So the Priest paused and waited for the congregation to say something but they didn’t after a few minutes of murmuring. Then he proceeded, “To the bride, Sister Shirley Petersburg, do you agree to take Brother Twain Arnold as your husband, in sickness, in good health, in poverty, in riches, and till death do you apart?” And I said smilingly, “Yes, I do.” So he turned to Twain and asked him the same question and he kept quiet. But after a minute of silence, when the priest reasked the question, he grinned and said, “No, I don’t. I do not want to be tied down. Marriage is a yoke, I am not ready for it.” Then the congregation murmured, and Sir Arnold stood up flaringly and swiftly ran to the altar, he gave him two bomb-like slaps to everyone's astonishment as he dragged him aside and asked, “Tell me what your problem is? What have I done to you to deserve this embarrassment. Now, return there and undo what you did”. So he returned to the altar but before then, my makeup artist who had noticed a break in my make-up, took me to a room close to the convenience room to retouch it. But shortly, my chief bride maid alongside Twain appeared where I was. Then I hastily sent a message to her and the make-up artist with my eyes, to give us space. So they did exit from the room and Twain looked me in the eyes and queried, “What would you want to achieve by doing this? I begged you the last time to object to this marriage idea