Bonded by kindred spirits

Chapter one      My life was a s**t hole. It’s consisted of absolutely nothing. No car, no job, and soon no place to live. I didn’t even get to finish college yet. Only an associates degree that’ll earn me a minimum wage job, which no one could survive on. No one would hire me without the experience, which is total bullshit. How was I going to get experience if no one would  take the chance?     Little old Chelmsford was not a place where I could fit in. You would think that since it is 2019,  racism didn’t exist. Well, you’re wrong. Ever since Trump became president racists have been getting bolder and bolder. There’s a disparity of privileges between the races which has been long and deeply rooted in history. It’s human nature to not like someone but it’s inhumane to not like a person for their race. People tend to fear what they don’t know or understand and being black and with powers was asking to be killed.                I yearned for a place to belong, a place where I wasn’t so shackled and restricted, a place I’ve only saw in my dreams. Everyone calls me crazy for believing a place like that existed when I was little.  Ever since then people labeled me as the weird chick, especially because of my panic attacks. Doctors couldn’t figure out the cause and because of my illness, I’ve never truly fit in anywhere so I had left home in search of a place I could call home. I left my job and my so called friends to travel and to find that missing piece inside of me. I didn’t feel complete or safe, I just felt...... empty.      I couldn’t shake this weight of unease and anxiety from my body slithering it’s way into my head and my heart. Before it could completely take over, I Was already on the road packed up to go who knows where, otherwise, there’d be no me left. Every minute I stayed in that town My panic attacks got worse leaving me in a comatose state afterward. If I kept living my life this way there’d be a shell of what i used to be left.        I already felt like an emotionless asshole, unhappy and yet no one seemed to notice I was drowning in despair. But yet, I still cared so much for the world and the people around me. I just wish they felt the same in return but I’ve learned my lesson that no one would lookout for you like you look out for yourself.  The hatred and the constant feeling of tug of war  with emotions between love and hate made me feel as though I was a ticking time bomb just ready to explode at the simplest slight.         A light brush of air by my shoulder and the stale wisp of liquor wafting off a guy next to me brought me out of my self wallowing misery. I sighed. Another guy trying his luck. Too bad I had other things to worry about than the man trying to get his rocks off. “What’s a pretty little exotic nigga like you doing all by your self here.” That word always got me in a pissy mood. It was what my dad used to call me. His little “nigga”. He said it wasn’t with the er so it didn’t mean anything but he used it with such venom and hatred I couldn’t believe my mom ever dated someone like him. He was controlling and abusive towards my mom. I’m said that she’s gone and that she had to live her life with such an asshole.     At that thought I got angry and downed the rest of my drink and turned. When I turned my face, I saw a pale muscled man that depicted a typical cowboy, with a black cowboy hat, brown dirty cowboy boots fitted  blue jeans and a lint ridden flannel. It really looked as though he was trying to hard. He flashed a drunken smile towards me with his graying beard hiding his top lip. He had cold blue eyes that looked dangerous and lustful and I shivered from the threatening intensity. “Just here in town until my car gets fixed.” I said with the most uninterested and nonchalant expression I could muster.       Maybe he’d get the hint that I didn’t want to be bothered. I would not let this man get the satisfaction of showing him a reaction he so desperately wanted. He looked like a predator and his so called drunken act didn’t fool me. He knew damn well what he was doing.  He smelled like liquor but it didn’t reach his eyes. He look like he was calculating how to eat me and not in the s****l way.  I didn’t want his attention at all. I just wanted to sit by and sulk by my lonesome and it just so happens, it never comes to fruition. Someone always wants to be in my business. I sighed again. I never get alone time at bars, there’s always that one guy that musters the courage to try and talk to me when I’m not interested. When they get turned down they get mad.I don’t understand why assholes are drawn to my presence.     “Am I boring you miss bitchy pants” he says angrily getting in my face. My eyes water from the strong smell of his rank breath and I felt a tinge of rage slice through me, quick and with a vengeance. “Wow bitchy pants? Good one. I’m pretty sure my nephew could come up with a better insult and he’s 10” His face scrunches up and he growls and tries to grab me but I slap his hand away.“Nuh uh” I say moving my pointing finger side to side like I was disclipning a toddler.  “No touchy unless you want to lose a finger b***h” I said low and deep, my version of threatening.   My anxiety spiked and I felt the adrenaline course through my body. s**t. I had to get out of here. I took money out of my bra and paid for my drinks and tip. I forgot about the angry asshole next to me when his fingers latched onto my wrist digging in painfully.  Nothing good came from me panicking. Im Not sure what would happen to me if I was to black out here. I couldn’t control what was inside me,  I didn’t even know what it was, what I was, and that frightened me the most. The panic attacks felt like something trying to claw their way out and that would leave me extremely exhausted.          The anger started to build and I looked around the bar with frightened eyes. Looking for exits so that I could get away. My vision dimmed and tinged a little red. I took steady breaths to calm down when I felt a strong gust of wind lift my hair causing me to flinch.           I felt a tug at my core. An imaginary pull that wanted me to turn around but I was afraid of what I’d find. A growl cut through the bar and I could feel the vibrations of the growl against my back.  Everybody in the bar stopped and was silent. Funny thing was no one was watching. It seemed as though everyone had something else to look at. I felt A hard body behind me as I watched  the asshole d**k face scurry to get the hell out of that bar. I  didn’t take my eyes off him until he left and huffed when his cowboy hat dropped and he stumbled. Not bothering to pick it up with his tail between his legs. “Asshole d**k face”  I heard in my mind. “That’s an accurate description of Herrin. A slimy asshole d**k face” that last part was whispered in my ear.       A sense of peace and belonging flushed through me and I almost panicked again but a wave of calm squashed the uneasiness through me. when his husky voice breathed in my scent and wrapped his arms around my stomach saying “mine” in the growly sexy voice of his I just about died and went to heaven.I melted and my panties moistened. I never felt this way over a guys voice. It was love at first hearing I thought and I heard him snort like he tried not to laugh.         I couldn’t control my emotions. I could only feel how his arms felt protective and warm around me. It felt like I were in a trance held captive by his presence. Nothing existed but the heat he poured into me through his touch and the way his arms felt around me when he squeezed me tighter causing me to shiver and squirm in lust. I had to know what he looked liked.             I turned around and met hazel green eyes and a s**t eating grin on the sexiest man I’ve seen alive. Bronze golden skin and shoulder length black hair that sparkled a hint of blue... no purple, in the dim light at the bar. He had the scent of sandlewood and coconut. The scent made me close my eyes and moan a tiny gasp. He pulled me closer to him and I felt him start to harden And then I begun to feel a little embarrassed. I didn’t even know his name yet. His name is probably sexy too. “Corin “ he said. My eyes never wavering from his.  “Yup. Definitely a sexy name” I thought  Get it together Allania, look somewhere else I thought frantically. My eyes drifted to his lips. which were full and looking like I needed to bite them. f**k that isn’t any better than his eyes and I bite my lip in frustration still staring at his lips  and I could’ve sworn his big grin got even bigger and his eyes seemed to sparkle in amusement and lust.“Yo Corin! What the hell are you doing”  I heard a sweet husky voice ask.       Although I was intranced With Corin, I felt another tug and I couldn’t help myself. I leaned over Corin’s arm, his hands still on my hips and spotted three other guys in the doorway of the bar walking towards us. They froze when I leaned over and stared at me while their nostrils flared.        I made eye contact with the guy who yelled Corin’s name. I figured it was him because he had his hand up still, still waving. He had brown eyes that were full of desire and heat causing me to heat up even more. I instantly started to sweat. He was tall and tan but not like the guy holding me. His glow was different but alluring all the same with his chiseled face. You could see the stubble that began to grow back on his face and then my eyes shifted to the right and left and my brows furrowed. Twins! Two blonde Adonises flanked the black haired sexiness and My body tingled feeling numb and hot to the point I was uncomfortable. I felt nothing but desire from them and it was so overwhelming I could do nothing but stare dumbfounded. They strolled over without saying a word. they moved  so quickly I didn’t notice when i was pressed in at all sides of me. “What lovely treat you’ve found us Corin” both twins said together and then guess what? I f*****g fainted. Fainted because of these hot guys surrounding me and I couldn’t control the swirl of emotions and feelings that rushed through me. My last thought was that this was the first time I felt something in me spark like I’ve been completed. And then all I felt was nothingness