struggle in my life

I will say that our life is like a playground and we are the players where we play inside the play group.This is about my life that how much I struggle in my life and getting little success.Now I am 1ST year student that tell you about my previous life.i am belongs to the wealthy family.MY family is also in the politics not my all family but my grandpa and my mom is in the politics, because of that mom didn't give me attention to me she gave attention to my big sister so she was good at everything and I am not so I am not really good at studies and other activities so i get scold from everyone that you can't do anything because your dumb and a loser my family also says that to me all my family members 1 to 5 to 7 I didn't bother that what are saying to me or else so when I'm in class 8th so I start feel shy and emotional and embarrassed.when I was a child I am really rude and always cry or destroy everything. my mom beat me then I listen to them you know I really love my family I didn't say that they didn't love me they love me and I also love them they didn't respect me because I listen to them and didn't say anything to them so I was like that when i get older I stop teasing and making noises because I didn't like it well I was young I cusing people.when I getting older I stop teasing and cusing people now I'm innocent and shy girl.when the COVID 19 was spread all over the world I am in 8th class and our country started the online classes so I take online classes but after few days I didn't take the online classes one day my ex class friend text me that she make fun of others that how she talk that someone chasing her but I said it's not good don't make fun of others you know I had a friend group and I'm the older one obviously so thier is four of us and they start separate from me like my bff start ignoring me and didn't talk to me so I felt sad and my bff left the school and then our group separate now I feel alone and I didn't make friends my classmates are nice but I know their real presnality in time they are nice and caring but I don't like that they make fun of others so that the only thing that I don't like from them but they are nice and caring and they help me too.when Im in class 9th that I will say the worst class that I ever seen I got that class.thier are many rude and stupid people are their in my class I didn't like my classmates and teachers I only like computer teacher.i don't like ather subject teachers. you know we had a class teacher my mom said to my teacher you can slap her when she didn't study so she whatever she likes or wants to slap so she slap me he's the only teacher who slap me in my life. I really hate her you know my classmates make fun of me and they start scrolling me and me innocent I didn't say anything to them I didn't give the answer so that why they did this to me and makes fun of me you know it's really unacceptable that a person who can listen bad things about himself but not others besides they are my friends or my class mates I didn't make someone make fun of them or others or make fun of teachers I mean I didn't like that someone makeing fun of others so I feel said and angry to them but on other hand I didn't get angry but I feel sad and I didn't say anything for me because I care of others. I got so depressed and stressed and my mind stop working and didn't work my mind become a stone that it will never get out so I did the mistake as you know I am the suicide attempt and I know my family loves me and I never make them down or make them sad but I did that one day I took the knife from my house and then went to school and then I went to the washroom I take out the kinfe and tried to cut my hand but bell rang and I went to class to attend the class I didn't want to take because it was economics period you know I like all my teachers but still love or hate relationship you know.well I cried and I said to my classmate that I tried to kill myself so she tell her bff and they told the teacher the teacher called me and asked what happened why you do that so I didn't tell her she also feel that she's not comfortable so she will tell me later.well I said to my classmates that my mom did this or sister did this I don't know why I say that but I said that my mind was stop and become stone so I said that they tell teacher the teacher tell the principal and principal tell my mom and my mom beat me and asked why you do that why so I'm quite and didn't say anything accept that I didn't say that you didn't make me to call my father but it's not it she never stop me but I didn't talk to him because he's not a good guy he didn't do anything he always stay upstairs and do nothing my mom got anger that I work or I have to full his stomach why he's here why he's not going his house you little I didn't say the curse world well uhmnmm you guys know how is my father didn't work just taking nape and taking to his friends bla bla bla. you know my maami she's a good person but she showoff that my son's are the best student ever or no one is just like my son's I know her son's are brilliant and good at everything and studies too but she always make me feel that she trying to make bad thoughts about them or I will start jealous to them but I'm not they are my brothers and cousins too my young brothers I never get jaelous or something I just like allha bless them always and be happy in their lifes but my family just showoff really showoff and stupid and " baaaaanchore” well stop it man don't say that.my aunti always shouted that Im ruined and curse world she from London and she married the English husband and she had a three or four children but his husband beat her so hard so she wanted the divorce so she so she divorce him and came back to Pakistan so now she's doing this she stay alone and she wants to stay alone we do everything but she still wants to be alone and she didn't came out from the house well we tried so much but still in her ziiid.This is about my family uhhhhhhhh..still thinking that I wish I could born in another family my family is a psychopath like well..well that's it about.y family I'm the only person who will wrote the novel short because I hate that novel is soo long that I also have no time so I write the novel in short I wish you all will like my novel ❣️ . . . . . ......TO BE CONTINUED.......